The Intervention
by Lana J'onzz
Summary: Travel along with the reader, witness your life as you struggle against depression, self harm and overall lack of joy. Stumble into the mind of one J'onn J'onzz, The last son of Mars as he slowly heals you while unknowingly healing himself along the way. A slow build up romance caused by a chance encounter of minds. Warning: This is M rated for lemons and dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings dear readers,**

 **I hope you are not frustrated with me and that you are still following me. Hopefully this story is better now and more satisfactory as some of you have suggested.**

 **Reviews are welcome as I will try to make the story go your way.**

 **Disclaimer: The Manhunter does not belong to me, I'm just using him for emotional benefit.**

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Chapter One

The Meeting

Red. It is an intriguing color, so bold and bright. Little droplets drip down my arm weaving their own intricate patterns with gravity guiding them. Three long and shallow cuts, nothing critical barely even superficial but it bleeds just the right amount that I need it to bleed. Such a pretty color it is. I don't even feel the pain anymore, my skin went numb to the blade a long time ago and my poor art knife never thought it'd be used this way. Well art knife, things never turn out the way we want them to do they now?

It hadn't always been this way or maybe on some levels it had. I honestly don't think I can remember. They had gotten into heavy fights before, I had thought it was normal and would never be violent. Until one day, it was. You can never be prepared for the panic you feel at a tender age when you know, intuitively, that something is very wrong and nothing can fix the way you look at life again. All I recall is shouts and a shove along with the broom being used to barricade my mom in the hall way and me tugging on Dad's arm to get him to let her go. I honestly wish I could erase that memory.

That was 15 years ago when I was 6, it was the start of all that is wrong in the lives of my family. Violence, domestic abuse in measured doses, nothing that would be too much for dear old mum and her idea that a family should be united. I think its the fault of that mentality. Not knowing when something is unsalvageable, not walking out when she should have. Today the scenario is less violent but just as awful.

Once you grow up you pick up the subtle cues in the atmosphere that you couldn't as a child and those cues keep gnawing on the back of your mind about how you can't help them out or solve their problems. Also once you grow up your family tends to be more careful now that you can think and act independently in ways that might spell court case for certain members. The line is always delicate but its hardly discernable specially when there's no evidence to back you up.

Oh look! The blood stopped. Sigh. Time for a few more lines of pain, it doesn't really hurt though maybe if I cut deeper it would. Ah, yes a searing line of liquid fire. How nice to be able to feel something other than numbness. After so many years of constant cutting it comes as no surprise that the skin has gone somewhat numb. I should've expected it with all the scars which can no longer be individual made out littering my wrist. Amazing how people always see only what they want to see and how easy it is to hide the pain and shame behind thick wrist watch.

I think I need help.

Sleep keeps calling me and all the people I know aren't people I want to confide my heart in. Sure they would be concerned, they would try to help, they might even take me away for a spell till I feel better but nothing they do can fix the damage already done. It hurts my head just thinking of what I should be doing, it feels heavy and my body is aching all over from the exhaustion. Perhaps its time for a nap?

Making my way to the bed is too great a task right now, I'll just lay my head down, my table should suffice for now.. Red again? Two glowing red spots stare into my eyes. What the? Eyes?

Wait a minute, red eyes? I take a closer look rubbing my eyes. Yep still eyes, eyes on a green angular face. Clearly masculine, high brow, aquiline nose and a thin lipped frown. Hmm.. I know that face! Said face is staring at me with no regard for personal space, its quite literally an inch from my face.

"J'onn J'onzz!" He backs a bit from being in my face to being in my personal space, am I dreaming? There has to be an explanation and the best is that I am indeed dreaming yet there's something here that is not giving off the dream vibe, in fact it's giving off the this is reality vibe.

"Pinch me?" I ask him quite sure he'll disappear if I touch him.

"You are not dreaming," his voice is soothing and deep. "you are very much awake in your own mind."

That doesn't really make much sense, but I suppose I can let that be and enjoy this most pleasant dream. And if it is not a dream well all the better. Looking around it doesn't look like anything I'm familiar with, huge glass windows, large beams with rivets and the light darkness of a black sky lit with a million stars. Its not the sort of sky one can see from out their window no matter what height one may climb to on earth. Conclusion: my dream/reality is occurring outside of earth.

"So where am I? And how did you get here?"

"You are in my mind, not I in yours." J'onn tells me staring right into my eyes. This makes no sense, how could I end up in his mind of all places. It's not like I have a map reference there or even any previous misadventures into anybody's mind of all places. The most fantastic place I've visited in my mind was the bottom of a quicksand pit. Not very pleasing that dream, I ensure you.

"You are a powerful telepath, it makes no sense I would stumble into your mind Manhunter." I figure addressing him by title is probably the most respectful of ways after inadvertently invading his mind. It's really not difficult to identify such a remarkable alien who is well covered by the media even if the spotlight is often stolen by Superman or Diana.

J'onn J'onzz, The Martian Manhunter. An alien who rescued earth from a gruesome fate as slaves to a race of white, sunlight allergic shape shifters. I've never really seen him up close but then again I don't think many people have. He's always seemed detached. Like a god who observes the ways of his creations and intervenes if need be but is not emotionally vested in their activities. This god like creature has a most graceful smile.

"J'onn, please." I nod along still wondering what to do here. It's all fine and dandy to dream about entering an alien's mind but how am I going to get out of his mind and more importantly, I could be dead in my body for all I know.

"Umm, J'onn, how do I get out of your mind?"

"I can send you back, I am much stronger here than you are."

J'onn's deep voice reverberates through me as he moves towards me, his hands coming up to cup my face. They are decidedly very large hands that completely envelope the sides of my face giving off warmth and dry roughness against my cheeks. How is it that texture registers in a mind realm? Very mind boggling. His eyes glow orange and I feel mine close almost involuntarily.

Blinking a few times I wake up to find myself at the table, my wrist has ceased bleeding and feels scabbed over. My mind is in a state of utter confusion. I'm not new to dreams I should know when I've been in a dream but now I'm not so sure if I can be a hundred percent certain. Surely all I just experienced was a delusion caused by blood loss?

The answer to my questions are not forthcoming today. I might as well give it time and see if this repeats or if I have a normal dream to compare this with. Rational thought says its just a dream but all my instincts are telling me that I just experienced something much for powerful than that. Perhaps a week or so of thought would clear this up for me.

...

It's funny how quickly a week can pass when you're occupied. I spent the past few days away from my art knife and more with my life. J'onn had crossed my mind a million times during the week. His blood red eyes, accented voice and impressive presence haunted the edges of my thoughts, distracting me from the knife and calling me to discover the secrets I stumbled upon but I still can't figure out how I entered his mind.

Things that I loved once again held my interest, at least fleetingly, before I was distracted by J'onn. Books upon books I read about astral planes, soul travelling, the theory of telepathy. Nothing shed light on what had happened, I may very well have actually hallucinated from blood loss for all the clarity I achieved through my research.

Somehow I still don't think it was a hallucination or a dream. The past nights have confirmed that dreams indeed give off a dream vibe as I have decided to call it and said vibe was most definitely absent in my encounter with J'onn J'onzz.

While thoughts of him have kept me occupied, it doesn't mean that my knife has stopped calling my name, nor has my blood ceased singing its desire to be spilled. Things maybe less suffocating but the urge to feel the slide of a blade on skin, to watch the first drops of blood slip out and start running is barely contained.

How bad could it be to silence the songs I hear around me. Perhaps tonight? Yes tonight sounds lovely. The daylight makes things too bright and brings a harsh light of reality that is not present when night falls, besides I need solitude and silence. In a noisy household the break of dusk brings about a natural lull in activity, it is the perfect time to depress myself just that little bit more.

It's probably a testament to the state in the house that 10 minutes of interacting have got me feeling restless and on edge. Self sabotage.. I'm a masochist for sure. The air is oppressive, I can feel the pressure around my chest and the tension at the dip of my back.

It is a unique form of tension, like a knot that's bent on getting itself unraveled through my tears. I fear this time I'm not going to cry. I have been told that I bottle up my feelings, that it is unhealthy but I'm definitely not going to cry over this. Whatever tension I feel can stay there. I'm not going to let it control me. I have enough things in my environment that I can't control! I'll be damned if I let my tears turn me into a whimpering mess.

Two straight lines across my wrist and the burst of red again. Ah, the relief of stinging pain. I can't describe how soothing the familiarity of the color is. Red... The color of his eyes.

J'onn. Yes I would like to visit your mind J'onn. A week after that incident and want a repeat, even if its just to prove to myself that it wasn't a dream. How did I do it that first time? How did I stumble into his mind? What did I accidently do that enabled me contact him?

How dare my phone interrupt my feel good time?! Oh, my ex-lover. How wonderful. I'm definitely in no mood for him tonight.

Now where was I art knife? Ah yes, cut three. Straight and true like the arrow that passed through my heart when I broke up with him. He was such a nice and loving man. I don't think I'm cut out for a relationship regardless of how many I get into and unfortunately I keep getting all the nice ones who genuinely care. They do everything they can to make me happy and yet I can't tolerate them after a few months. Its like a switch in my heart flips and suddenly I'm no longer in love but vicious and intolerant. Simple things irritate me and I fly off the handle till I can't bear to talk to them civilly.

My head always starts pounding when I think of such things. Little beads of red and an aching heart, such a lovely combination. Seek a bit of sorrow and you get landed a heavy dose of pain. This time I should just get to bed and sleep. The pillows are wonderfully soft and the bed feels divine. I think I shall never leave this place again, I could do that. Just cut deeper, bleed a little more and sleep, never wake again. So very tempting.

Intervene somebody, please intervene. I don't want to hurt the people hurting me.

It's one thing to entertain such thoughts while stable and it's another thing entirely to think of it when you're in a dark place where ever option seems like a good option. Closing my eyes I let sleep claim my body lest I try something stupid. Well, more stupid than usual.

A heavy hand lands on the back of my head. I don't want to raise my head. I don't want to accept the comfort I can feel from his hand alone. Its solid, heavy and giving off warmth along with a sense of soothing. I know whose hand it is without looking up. No dream of mine has ever allowed my to register the feel of a hand like I am registering now. This can only mean one thing.

J'onn J'onzz very slowly strokes my hair, his fingers carefully brushing down the length of my hair till my back. I can feel the bed beneath me, clearly this time I'm still in my room in this weird reality I'll call mind realm. I give up on trying to figure out how I can feel things in this mind realm. It is confusing my brain far to much, unless I'm not in a mind realm and I'm merely dreaming.

His deep voice surrounds me as he chuckles. Yes very funny. I'm sure stroking my hair is amusing. Where is the funny part?

"The part where you refuse to acknowledge this is no dream." His voice makes me want to look up and confirm what I know. To accept what he says as reality but some part of me is knows that I'm to raw around the edges to meet his eyes right now without giving him a glimpse of my pain.

"Look at me."

I don't think I could've resisted that soft, commanding whisper even if I had hated him. Understanding red eyes look back at me when I finally turn my head to look at him and suddenly I want to cry. I've always been one of those people who need something to cry into and all I want to do is throw myself against his chest and let go. There's so much compassion in the crimson of his eyes that I can feel the strength he's silently offering me to lean on but I blink the urge away and sit up to properly talk. After all if I'm back in his mind that means I'm doing something unconsciously which brings me to him.

"Your mind didn't bring you into mine this time."

Ok how is he knowing what I'm thinking?!

"Are you reading my mind?" I'm not really offended but I'm more worried about what he'll think of my less than graceful thoughts. J'onn shakes his head at me.

"No. But me being in your mind makes it difficult to not hear your thoughts." At my paling face he sighs and cups my face. "I am truly sorry but your thoughts are too loud here."

That means he just heard me think about weeping into his chest.

"How can I stop that?" I whisper softly hoping that might work. It's not like this mind realm came with an instruction manual on what I should and should not think about. He probably heard that too. Wait, he probably heard me think that he heard too. Gah!

"Do you have a sanctuary? A place where you go in your head to think?"

I actually do. Sherlock Holmes' mind palace really made an impact on me and I had created my own mind palace years back although now I hardly ever visited it. I had created a library, a bedroom, a balcony where I installed the woven lounge from Lord of the Rings, an art studio, ballroom. Lets just say I really made a palace, its easy to get lost in your own mind when most of your problems stem from it.

J'onn's graceful smile makes its appearance. He nods at me in encouragement, I start thinking of the lounge at the balcony and picture us there and lo and behold! I got it right! The bed melts away to be replaced by the couch and J'onn looks around what I have created. I look around with him, it's been years since I visited my mind palace. It's a very effective method to remember things. The balcony overlooks merely greenery, I didn't think of creating anything in the garden. J'onn meets my eyes and yes it is quiet here, I can't even hear my own thoughts.

Wait a... He said I didn't crash land in his mind this time.

"J'onn, you couldn't have accidentally found my mind. How did you get here?" He's a telepath from a race of aliens who probably practiced all sorts of telepathic activities, there's no possible way he would have accidents like a certain blundering human. Me.

He looks at me quietly. Red can be so expressive, as unfamiliar as I am with his body language and expressions, the subtle darkening of his eyes seem to convey sadness. Is he sad?

"I'm afraid after our last encounter I was intrigued by your mind, I heard your plea."

"Oh.." My plea. Yes, please intervene, well who said prayers never get answered. As delightful as it, my answered prayers have given me a new dilemma: how do I meet the eyes of this alien now, knowing what he knows about me.

J'onn's large green hand tilts my chin up to meet his eyes. It is still as large as I remember covering my jaw and gently guiding me eyes up to meet his which are calm and comforting.

"I have been living among humans for many years, yes your mind is dark but believe me, it is not as dark as the minds I've been in."

"Batman?"

I can somehow imagine Batman's mind to be a terrible place for a peaceful race of telepathic aliens. J'onn nods with a humorless smile. I take in his features once more, the texture of his hand, the colors he's wearing, the golden chain across his throat enhancing the dip at the base before his clavicles define their way across the broad expanse of his chest, partially covered by his blue cape. Beautiful, its the only way to describe it. There's an unique appeal in the way he's holding himself coupled with the barely concealed strength in his body. But his eyes. Red like the blood I spill each night, red of the richest shade and the softest depths. Those eyes hold mine captive. Suddenly words are lost to me, I don't want to think anymore. He's here, everything is quiet in my mind. My troubles can wait till after he's gone.

What does one offer to a guest when the guest is occupying ones mind? Its not like tea is an option. J'onn has one eye ridge cocked up in a question while I'm debating my course of action, I'm so focused on it that I almost don't notice his hand dropping from my face. I feel like I should make conversation. He's probably going to wonder what is keeping me so occupied. Somehow I wonder if telling him his mere presence is easing the worries in my head is a good idea. I wonder if I can lean against him, he seems physically expressive enough.

"I was wondering," I start to say. "if you were my guest at home I'd offer you tea but since you're a guest in my mind.. What do I offer you?"

J'onn looses his composure, suddenly startled and amused laughter echo around inside my head. I can feel the blood rushing to my face, I must be glowing red. Damn it. Why'd I voice that concern to him. Of all the things I could have said why didn't I start with something else.

J'onn leans back against the couch, his arm causally draped across the back. His fingers are inches away from my head, I'm sure if I tilt my head that I'll feel their warmth. Mirth filled eyes twinkle at me and I can't help relaxing into a smile, feeling lighter at heart than I have been in months.

"I forget this is new to you, there is nothing you need to offer me." J'onn's voice carries a hint of the amusement he feels at my expense but it slowly turns fades and his eyes darken into seriousness as he slowly starts talking. "There is one thing. Perhaps you would tell me what is happening that is making you so unstable."

The breath catches in my throat and I slowly feel the air around us tensing in anticipation, my fingers find themselves busily engaged with each other. J'onn's hand returns to the side of my head, gently stroking my hair over my ear. Should I tell him? Could I tell him? Tell him what I'm witnessing daily? Tell him why I'm finding it impossible to cope? Most importantly am I justified in telling this gentle creature who deals with black and white crimes? J'onn doesn't deal with grey in his crimes while I'm dealing with all grey. It is something immensely difficult to explain, its easier read off my mind, he's a telepath after all.

"Read it off my mind J'onn. It's easier that way for both of us."

"I do not wish to intrude." he looks tortured by the thought of intruding as if he could truly intrude anymore considering where he is what he and I have been doing. I take his free hand in both of mine and guide it to the opposite side of my head.

"It's fine J'onn, go ahead."

I look at his eyes waiting for him to pull up the memories needed from my head. The thought randomly strikes me that the Martian is reading my mind while being IN my mind. It is hilarious in its own right. A mind-ception.

His eyes take on a glowing shade of red as he cups my face properly between both his large hands and I let my eyes close. I don't know why but I expected to feel pain from his invasion, yet all I experienced was a slight prodding which caused memories to surge through mind. The prodding stops and I open my eyes just as he drops his hands from my face. Suddenly my eyes are fixated on my lap, refusing to meet his eyes properly. What will I find if I look at him? Sympathy? Compassion? Pity?

J'onn seems to be deep in thought not making any move towards breaching the topic or taking his leave. I dare to look up from my lap and lock my eyes on the shiny gold buckles holding the chain of his cape. I can see myself reflected back at me, distorted and painted in gold. He is staring at me, I can feel it. Finally daring to meet his eyes I'm locked with his gaze filled with intense sorrow for me. Far to intense. It's making me relive my troubles and the pain I felt. It is far easier to stare out the garden than to stare into those compassionate eyes and I rise from my seat to walk over to the balcony I created.

J'onn follows me as I stare at the passionless greenery of no form, his large hand grips my bicep and I can feel the electric tension in the air between his chest and my back. I bet he's not even two inches away from me, if I relax backwards I'll be against him. A minute of silent staring at mind numbing greenery later, J'onn turns me very slowly to meet his gaze. The red of his eyes somehow convey how he feels and I'm desperate to stop him from feeling bad for me.

"There's nothing to do about it J'onn. It's well beyond my ability to fix. Well beyond yours too I'm sure."

"I am sorry I can not fix this for you." He sounds genuinely upset that he can't help me but it's not something a superheroes' job description entails. Helping young women cope with depressions and family issues is a psychiatrist's job. J'onn's other hand cups my cheek and my eyes close. I want nothing more than to edge that tiny distance between us and press against his chest. Listen to what I'm sure is a solid heartbeat.

I really wasn't expecting him to fix my problem but it has made me happy to just have someone to talk to who chases away my worries with their mere presence. I'd voice that to him, I really would but I'm not too certain what that would cause. Would he take to returning often to ensure my mental stability? Will that not be extremely selfish of me?

J'onn stiffens suddenly and drops his hands from my body. I miss that cool touch as he stands ramrod straight.. What's happening? Maybe he's getting a message.

"I am needed at the watchtower." he says quietly, snapping from his rigid stance and holding me by the shoulders. His eyes and very touch convey his regret at having to leave but I'm nodding before I register the action. I knew he had to leave, it's not like he can stay in my mind all night long. I whisper back just as quietly.

"Go."


	2. Chapter 2

**Well my dear readers, I hope you are enjoying it.**

 **Now continuing with our story, remember reviews are always welcome.**

 **Disclaimer: Obviously J'onn is not mine, if he were there would have been more screen time of him and less Superman.**

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Chapter Two

The beginning

A week. A full week. That's how long it has been. A full week of no J'onn.

I seem to have gotten addicted to his mental touch, so much so I don't feel like doing anything except reminisce about the feel of his hands, the echoes of his voice and the soothing aura that seems to engulf me when he's nearby.

Needless to say I've not been very productive the entire week. The urge to spill red rubies has faded from blaring a horn at me to rapping on my door at odd hours of the night. It's almost become manageable.

Wonder how things went for J'onn.. Would he contact me again? Or is he injured and unable to visit?!

Suddenly, being seated at the window is impossible, I need to do something. Anything! I get up and pace the ends of my room.

How do I contact him?

Should I try to? What if he's busy? What if he's on a mission?

Even if I could contact him, what on earth do I say? What reason have I to intrude upon his day to day life?

Do I have a right to?

Four full laps across the room and I've lost track of my thoughts, it's a valid question whether I have a right to try to contact him. He's clearly a busy man. Err.. Alien. I'm making this complicated aren't I? Yes I am.

I could wait till he finds me again but question is will he see a need to do so. The only reason he visited me last time was because I had pleaded to no one in particular for an intervention, so unless J'onn being the polite, gentle creature that he is, feels that we have unfinished business due to his urgent departure, I'm pretty sure I won't see him.

Sigh.. "I truly wish I could figure out how to visit your mind like you did mine, J'onn."

The handmade skull on my table stares at me as if I've lost a few marbles but he already knew I was running on the last few marbles as it were. He's been a lovely friend to me, nonjudgmental and silent. His expressions always changes in my mind's eye to reflect amusement or a berating glint when I've gone and done something exceptionally stupid.

I never regret sculpting him and bringing him home. I only wish I could've brought the Terra Cotta solider I made, home as well. Such a pity, he came out so well too.

Plopping back down by the window all I want to do I get lost in memories of J'onn. J'onn is safe, J'onn is pure even though I stumbled into him after blood loss memories of him don't spiral into thoughts that depress me. They lift me into a state of daydreaming and contemplations on telepathy. Even though I'm quite sure what we've engaged in is not telepathy.

Not telepathy and not astral projections either, so what exactly is it. Could it be some Martian trick? But if it were, there's no way that I would have been the one to initiate our contact. However I've never had such an experience with anyone else either so what exactly have J'onn and I been engaging in?

All sorts of theories build themselves up in my mind while the sun sets across the sky. The sky turning pleasing shades of orange and red. Red. The sky has that same shade of red as J'onn's eyes took when he was reading my mind. The more time I spend observing, the more little things remind me of him.

Distorted reflections of myself from any golden surface reminds me of the gold buckles on his cape. Various shades of blue remind me of his swishing cape although I'm yet to encounter the particular shade of green that is his skin anywhere else. But nothing makes as big an impact as red. Its become a very important color to me.

I could take up meditation practices again and see if I can contact J'onn without stumbling around trying to get in touch with no idea how I succeeded. Meditation takes a lot of practice though. I used to engage in it years ago. Perhaps after dinner, before bed I can attempt it.

Tears had become a common thing this entire week. For someone who prided herself in hardly ever breaking down, I had started an alarming rate of crying this week. It was nothing like the sobbing seen in movies, it was straight overflow of tears and silent tremors. I can feel my limit approaching, all I want is a solid bottle of double black scotch and a bucket of ice. I want to drink away all the memories, drink away into sleep and dreams. Drink away to.. Oblivion..

So many wants, none of the them healthy come to think of it. It's definitely different to feel less inclined to partake in self destructive actions. I guess I should thank J'onn for the lift in my emotions. Sleeping sounds lovely. I'm exhausted from thinking.

A dreamless state of sleep. It's clearing up into the balcony of my mind palace. Hmm...

"J'onn?"

His large hand falls onto my shoulder, turning around the joy I feel is indescribable. He's wearing a simple smile on a tired looking face. At my questioning eyebrow he drops his hand, explaining.

"It was a difficult mission, I'm afraid I received considerable more than I gave."

"Is this not draining you, J'onn? Being here with me?" I'm under no illusion as to how much effort is needed for making telepathic contact and given how tired J'onn looks I can almost feel the strain.

"It is not much trouble, come, sit down." he guides me to my couch and sits us both down. I take up my favorite activity, gazing at J'onn. He smiles at me, "How have you been?"

"Considerably well J'onn, perhaps not productive but better. Tell me about your mission?" I love the low pitch of his voice and he never seems to talk much.

"Well," he starts off about how it went and how he got tazed repeatedly. Now that he mentions it I can see the slightly darkened burn marks on his chest. My hand is half way up to touch it when I realize that J'onn for all his uniform's functionality is practically shirtless. J'onn is looking at me curiously and I flush a dark crimson and drop my hand. His eyes fall to the mark on his chest as well, then to my flushed cheeks and he captures my hand pulling it back up before dropping his hand from mine.

The marks are healing right before my eyes. My fingers catch on the rough texture of his burns and I can feel his healing changing the color back to his normal skin tone. He impossibly firm, his chest hardly gives under the pressure I apply to it. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with this being a mind realm or if he truly is of that dense a muscle tone. Either way he feels intensely masculine and I can feel something in me acknowledging that.

The marks are slowly fading away as I drop my hand J'onn has his eyes fixed firmly on me, following my moves with his eyes. It's hard to pinpoint what he is focusing on given his lack of pupils but his stare can be felt regardless. Looking up at him I can see the exhaustion on his face along with something new I haven't seen before. He looks almost wistful and its everything I can do to stop myself from asking how I can ease that look away from his face.

I want to feel him in a realm that isn't my mind. To physically know how he feels, to grow familiar with his scent and his touch. I want to show him my world, introduce him to my home and show him the things I like. How possible would that be? He's far, far away on a satellite station orbiting the earth. He could probably get himself teleported though I'm not too certain if I should bring it up.

All these thoughts flutter through in under a minute and J'onn is still looking at me thoughtfully. He's growing more tired by the minute.

"J'onn, do you think its possible that I meet you in reality?" I'm studiously observing his features for any idea of what he feels about my suggestion. "Not in each others mind but somewhere where you don't have to create yourself in my mind.

He almost cups my face before his hand drops away. He's wearing an impossible to read expression as he nods.

I'm not sure if he's happy with my suggestion.

"I will arrange for that. Where would you like to meet?"

"A park?"

I'm pretty sure he knows which one seeing as how he's in my mind after all but really, I'd be fine with any place he suggests. He nods in agreement and shuts his eyes for a few seconds. My heart wrings in sympathy for him, I place a hand on his forearm, capturing his attention.

"J'onn, you need rest. Your face is near impossible to read and I can clearly see how tired you are which is saying a lot." he chuckles at my words and it's the most wonderful sound I've ever heard.

"You are correct, I should take my leave."

His fingers touch my temple and I wake up to my bed once more. It's still dark outside, 3.00am. Hmmm... Plenty of time for J'onn-less sleep.

Ever since J'onn agreed to meet me at the park I've been excited and looking forward to it. Because of how hurt he was after his mission I did not expect to hear from him till at least another week had passed but today is just the following day and its hardly 5 in the evening when I hear J'onn's voice in my head.

"Meet me at the park."

He doesn't need to say which, I know exactly where he is. The only park I visit is Victoria Park. A huge area with trees growing in different densities as one walks deeper into the park. Its a place I frequent to draw people and nature. If you go beyond the crowded first few yards of the park and into the trees, all of the city's noise gets blocked and the only thing you hear is your breathing.

In less than 10 minutes I am dressed in a denims and my favorite white t shirt. I grab my purse and shoes and drive off to the park. I can feel whatever link J'onn has created in my mind getting stronger the closer I get to my destination. He's a strong, calm presence in my mind. Parking my car I walk along the pavement to the park entrance and wait a minute.. How do I find J'onn? He's obviously disguised! Why didn't I think of that!

A solid hand falls on my shoulder. Ooo this man just loves to start off like that doesn't he?

Yep, turning around looking into brown eyes is not what I was expecting. All his features are translated into a human's. The definition is still there but he looks normal and its unsettling after having gotten used to seeing red eyes and green skin. But the weight of his hand is the same.. If I touch him, will he feel as dense as he did before?

"Come."

It's the same soothing voice, the same deep rumble which comforts me. I can feel the link at its highest strength and yes, this is definitely J'onn. Even if he happens to be olive skinned and dark eyed with artfully combed hair (how does he do that?) this is still J'onn.

I figure I'll let him lead and see where he goes. Funny how we seem to never talk much. A pity really. His voice is probably what chocolate sounds like. If chocolate had a voice that is.

There are children playing around us, most of them are trying to stall going home. People are packing up blankets and getting ready for walks. Some are dozing off. J'onn is looking around him curiously and I'm more interested in looking at him. Its almost as if we've come to some silent agreement to just walk away from the crowds and into the more isolated area of the park in the thicker tree growth. He's guiding us to my favorite spot!

Looking up at him, he's wearing that gentle smile, damn I forget he's not green at the moment! I just keep seeing him in his superhero uniform even though he's in denims and a navy blue turtleneck. In the physical realm.. No longer my mind or his mind. If I walk closer can I smell him? Maybe just a bit closer...

Wow. There's nothing to describe the scent of this man. The hint of dark wood found in overly expensive cologne and fresh smell of rain. That's the only thing that even comes close to what he smells like. Am I wearing my perfume? Darn it I can't remember! Ummm... J'onn is giving me a quizzical look, like I've done something adorable. Uh oh..

"Are you reading my mind or am I broadcasting my thoughts?"

His laughter is enough to warm a soul. Even if it is at my expense.

"Humans are not used to thinking to themselves. Their thoughts are always broadcasted. I always hear them even when I don't want to." His eyed are twinkling at me as we loose the masses of people and enter the woods. Whatever noise there was earlier has died gradually with each step we've taken. His breathing is almost audible now. Deep, flowing breaths which expand his human chest. He's reaching over me to pull out the hidden blanket and books I store in the hollow of the large tree I consider mine. There's electricity when I accidentally graze my fingers against his while taking the blanket from him. Unusual. Looks like the real world does differ from the mind.

J'onn sits down next to me and leans against the sturdy tree trunk inhaling deeply, I take up my favorite activity - J'onn gazing.

"Can you change form here?"

His eyes open and I miss the red, pupil less eyes which I've grown familiar with.

"Do you not find this form pleasing?"

Well... To be honest he does look good in his chosen disguise but that's what it is, a disguise. Not the real him. Telling him that should be easy enough.. Why am I avoiding his gaze over something so simple.

Gentle fingers tip my chin till I'm looking at red eyes on the green face I'm used to.

"Tell me."

"I miss your red eyes J'onn." I softly whisper it to him hoping it doesn't come across as odd. After all I should be more comfortable with eyes that look like my own but here I am missing what are clearly alien eyes but it's more than just his eyes and I proceed to blurt out my feelings on his disguise. J'onn absorbs what I say while removing his hand from my face, his expression most thoughtful.

"It is not often that a human prefers a shape that they are unfamiliar with." J'onn tells me thoughtfully. "You intrigue me in your reactions."

I flush crimson from his comment and avert my eyes. By the time I turn to look at him, he has dropped his disguise and the brown eyed human is replaced by the red eyed alien that I am more comfortable with. We're both silently regarding each other neither certain what to say about the turn of conversation or how to proceed. At length J'onn simply smiles at me and leans back against the tree till he's settled comfortably. Looking at the broad expanse of his chest I wistfully wish for the temperature around me to drop so I have an excuse to settle closer to him.

J'onn lets out a rumbling laugh and his arm shoots out to curl across the back of my shoulders, pulling my body against the side of his chest. The realization of just how loudly I must've been thinking strikes me and I feverently wish for the ground to open up and swallow me as I cover my face with my hands.

This is beyond embarrassing. I will have to learn to quieten my thoughts around this telepath if I ever want to get out of this without embarrassing myself further. J'onn's dark chocolate laughter is not helping me in the least as he merrily chuckles and squeezes me to him in amused affection. I conveniently hide my face in his collar, with his blue cape draped over his arm covering me and his warmth radiating into the confined space, a surreal sense of calmness settles around us.

It's the most at peace I've felt in years. J'onn seems just as comfortable and I take this golden opportunity to memorize every detail I can of this moment. Setting my focus on the warm body against me, I register the unique scent that is J'onn and the feel of the soft fabric around me. His golden cape fasteners are just a breath away from me and it offers me a new angle to see from. The golden reflection of his face titled to look at me against his chest is completed with my own reflection in the buckle. I can feel the soft rise and fall of his chest with each breath he takes and his heart is beating steady and strong. My own breathing automatically synchronizes with his while my heart attempts to match the alien beat.

"J'onn, I've never been this relaxed in my life, I'd stay here forever."

He gives my shoulders a squeeze and I tilt my face up to look at him. Up close, I notice his eyes are more than just red. There's edges of maroon and hints of orange in those eyes as they search mine. I wonder if he finds my eyes as fascinating as I find his. Perhaps the novelty of human eyes has worn on him after spending so much time with human eyed superheroes but for me his eyes as enthralling.

"Human interactions are something I have watched from afar but never experienced." J'onn starts telling me meeting my eyes. "Diana has been persistently telling me to get involved, I did not have an opportunity nor did I have an interest until you. Perhaps I shall be able to please her with this knowledge."

J'onn looks like he has finally found what Diana thought he was missing and maybe he has. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Here is a creature who will outlive his companions and unless he finds a place in this world, he will feel isolated and lonely. The thought itself makes my heart wince in sympathy. I must have given off some indication of my feelings for J'onn sighs softly.

"It will be many years before I depart from this life. Martians have a long lifespan but that does not mean I will be lonely. Our memories are - were - long lasting. What humans forget in a few years, I will never forget. Each moment I spent, each memory that is precious will keep me alive long after my companions are in the afterlife."

This is the most he has ever said at a stretch and to have it be this melancholic is upsetting. His baritone voice and heavy words impart more sorrow than any other voice probably could have done.

"I apologize, it was not my intension to sadden you." J'onn gives a wistful smile as he realizes just how much he has revealed and how it has wiped the smile from my face. There's nothing I can say to make it alright for him. His situation is unique and not something I will ever experience.

"Its alright J'onn, do you think you would benefit from me as much as I benefit from you if we regularly meet and interact?"

I desperately want to repay this alien who has lifted my spirits with his mere presence and if spending time with humans is what he needs, then I don't see why I shouldn't volunteer specially when being with him brings such joy to me.

"I believe we can." His gaze seems to linger on the features of my face as he says this and I close my eyes against his shoulder. The knowledge that I will be meeting him often fills my heart with happiness, I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly.

Jesus, he's solid muscle! I am barely able to squeeze him! The density of his body makes me feel like a porcelain doll next to him, no wonder J'onn has always touched me gently. Although I somehow can't imagine him ever being violent or aggressive, I know that he's more than capable of it. A superhero's job description is basically public approved violence in capes.

I gently ease back from his chest to look up at him, thinking of him being violent triggers my memories of violent men in my life. I'm lost in my memories but they're now trying to place J'onn into each scenario, somehow he doesn't fit. Him shouting at me in blind fury or him violently barricading me against a wall in anger don't seem right even in my head.

J'onn must've been trying to get my attention. I snap to reality to find myself facing him, his hands at the back of my head pulling me up to face him.

"Look at me." His voice guides my unfocused eyes from staring at nothing to locking eyes with him.

"Look at me, you're safe. Breathe."

A shuddering breath leaves me and I focus on J'onn, his fingers at my neck giving me something to ground myself to as I breathe to match the up and down movements of his chest. I can't even bring myself to be embarrassed, I feel unhinged. J'onn must've heard my thoughts, his movements are undeniable cautious and projected, making sure I can see everything he intends to do before he does it. His hands gently slide to my shoulders and pull me to his chest, his cape coming up to completely envelope me. I tuck my knees under me and close my eyes, absorbing the calm steadiness of J'onn.

My mind starts thinking about what happened and how I ended up going into a near panic attack. J'onn quickly puts an end to that by squeezing me to him.

"Do not think," his baritone voice commands me. "your fears merely tried to claim you. You are safe now."

The mortification I feel is monumental, here we were having a perfectly normal conversion before I stumble into mental minefield only to have this savior alien pull me out of it. If I ever prided myself on being strong, its definitely been taken down a few pegs. J'onn, being the telepathic alien that he is, has obviously picked up this thought of mine and wastes no time in trying to assure me that I am by no means weak. However, he must be able to feel my lack of conviction as I nod along in apathetic agreement to him.

Just weeks ago I had my emotions under control, I would take a blade to my wrist yes, but I didn't panic by any means. J'onn seems to be exuding strength as he tenderly strokes my hair effectively distracting my thoughts as my mind latches onto the soothing sensation. Being calm I notice the sunlight fading away into night and I suddenly realize that its getting late. The park is no place to be after 7pm. Sure being with a superhero would ensure that no harm will behalf me but after 7pm the more base and amoral aspects of human life come out to play and I have no intention of exposing this gentle alien to such inelegant views.

"J'onn, shall we have dinner and a walk if you have no plans for the rest of the day?"

J'onn looks at me for a moment then releases me from his arms and cape with a smile.

"My day is clear for you unless an emergency comes up, dinner sounds like an excellent idea."

He rises and offers his hand to pull me up to my feet. I fold up the blanket and he returns it to my hiding place. We make our way back to my car and J'onn dons his disguise again as we go. To anyone looking we'd just appear like s normal couple, walking close by, smiling at each other and stealing glances.

Night settles completely and the chilly winds start blowing. Why didn't I bring a jacket.. You'd think I'd have thought of things like that after living here for so long. J'onn obviously notices and wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to shield me from the wind. Its not much help but the act warms my heart as we briskly make our way to my car.

My car feels like a warm haven. J'onn exhales in relief as I turn up the heat and pull onto the road.

"Is there any type of earth food that you like besides oreos?"

The look on his face is priceless.

"Are you certain that I'm the only telepath here?"

I burst out laughing. Its common knowledge that J'onn loves oreos, I remember it being on the papers. On dull days, an alien superhero stopping for oreos makes the gossip news articles, I proceed to tell J'onn just that. He stares at me in something akin to disbelief.

"I promise you J'onn, I'm not lying, I'll show you the article sometime or you can read it off my mind."

"I believe you." J'onn seems rightfully confused by humanity's lack of hobbies. Its impossible not to laugh at his poor, confused face. J'onn usually has such a stoic, straight laced face that seeing him miffed is amusing. "But to answer your question, I have no specific preference."

"Hmm what have you tried so far?"

"Flash has introduced me to various junk food I believe. I am not particularly fond of them. Diana has recommended more healthy food, vegetables taste better."

"Well then J'onn, allow me to take you on a journey of self discovery."


	3. Chapter 3

**My dear reader, hope you are ready for more J'onn J'onzz. As ever read and review even if it's not positive. I encourage all feedback.**

 **Disclaimer: J'onn is not mine, I'm simply using him for a while.**

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Chapter Three

The Tension

I grin at him with glee, glad to introduce him to something new. Eating out is a hobby of mine and I have frequented many restaurants in the area so I know the best place to take J'onn. I pull up to the curb in front of a very moderate restaurant called Andy's. I have come here so often that the owner is now a friend. The portly man calls out a greeting with an one armed hug as he sees me coming up to him. J'onn trails behind me taking in the interior of this quaint little place.

The soft yellow lights create a warm atmosphere and each table is partitioned to give a semblance of privacy to the customers. Many families and couples seem to visit Andy's from what I have witnessed.

"Your usual place, yes Miss?" He grins, looking J'onn up and down.

I know he's going to be keeping an eye out for me. Somewhere along the way Andy has taken it upon himself to look out for me. Last time I brought a date here, he ended up taking me aside to tell me that my date was no good for me. Unfortunately, Andy is always correct. It probably has something to do with working in a restaurant where happily married couples and families frequent, for Andy can correctly predict where a relationship will go and no doubt J'onn and I look like we're on a date to him.

"Yes please." I nod at him and turn to J'onn who is looking at me curiously. Andy escorts us to my favorite table in the corner. Its window looks out to the busy street and the partition allows us maximum privacy. J'onn sits across from me and I turn to Andy as he passes us the menu.

"Thank you Andy." he waves it off and bustles away telling us to call when we're ready.

"That man loves you dearly." J'onn observes, he too appears to have fallen under the spell of the ambiance, his voice softer and lower so only I can hear him.

"I frequent here J'onn, he says I remind him of his daughter." I want to let J'onn experience food not talk about me right now. "Now tell me, what would you like to try? I can assure almost everything will taste wonderful."

"Would you be so kind as to recommend a dish?"

"Try the spinach spaghetti with cauliflower and cheese or you can try a classic vegetable lasagna, both taste wonderful."

We spend a few minutes choosing and I call Andy over, he takes our order and slides a napkin over to me as he pours us water. I knew this was coming but its the first time Andy has been impatient enough to message me on a napkin.

J'onn looks forlorn as he gazes at me, unthinking I reach out to touch his hand on the table. After spending hours curled up in contact with him, it feels normal to touch him. He allows the contact and gently squeezes my hand.

"What's wrong J'onn?"

"I was on a mission a few weeks back, I don't know if you've read it on your gossip papers," He gives me a crooked smile and my heart skips a beat. "Luthor created a creature that absorbed our powers, I had to scan the minds of thousands of people to locate him. The thoughts and feelings that these humans carried, so vain, selfish and petty attempts to justify them." J'onn gently strokes my fingers while looking around us. "But here in this place, these humans are giving off such gentle thoughts that its almost as if I'm back on Mars. Thank you."

My vision goes misty as J'onn J'onzz the Martian Manhunter thanks me. J'onn suddenly moves closer to me and rubs his thumb under my eyes, wiping away the tears. I can't allow him to think I'm sad and I still his hand in both of mine. His much larger hand pausing between mine, waiting for me to speak.

"J'onn, if anyone should be thankful, it is me. You have made me feel alive, I feel calm and content, I know when I return my home will be a mess but I feel like you've given me a light to carry home, so if anyone should say thank you, it's me. Thank you J'onn."

J'onn moves his hand to cup my face and leans closer. Oh god.. Is he going to kiss me? My eyes close and I feel his lips make contact with my forehead. Somehow that kiss feels more like a thank you than his words did. He pulls back slowly and I stare at him, at a loss for words. Thankfully Andy clears his throat and we pull back to allow our plates to be settled. Andy drops me a wink as he tells us to enjoy the meal.

It is only then I remember the napkin that Andy passed me. I pull it to my lap, opening it discretely to see an elegant cursive scrawling out: Keep him.

J'onn raises a brow at me and I shake my head smiling. He drops whatever he was going to say and we settle into out meal. I watch as J'onn takes his first bite of the vegetable lasagna, his eyes widen at me and I know he's found something he will love. I laugh at him and tell him he's welcome. We end up talking in between bites, he tells me of his missions, the exotic things he has seen, the things he has fought and I tell him of my relatively mundane activities such as sculpture and painting.

"What message does the napkin bear?" J'onn asks as we finish our meal.

I can feel my cheeks heating up as I pass him the unfolded napkin, watching human face for any tells. He glances up from the writing and smirks at me.

"Interesting."

"J'onn..."

"We should come here more often, don't you agree?"

"Umm, yes?"

He's getting at something, I can feel it but I've no idea what he's thinking. He laughs at my scrunched up expression and gives my hand a squeeze. His touch gentles my face, I can feel myself smiling stupidly at him when I should be pressing for details.

J'onn releases my hand and sits back just as Andy rounds up with the bill for us. Looking around, night has settled quietly and the street lamps are illuminating people as they pass by our window lost in their own worlds.

We make our way out of the restaurant as Andy gives his compliments for the night, both of us content in people watching till we reach my car. Climbing in I turn to J'onn as he closes the door. His human disguise falling away, he dominates the space around him. I try to memorize this moment of him eased back, looking at me with quiet warmth in his red eyes.

"Where shall I drop you off J'onn?"

"The justice league uses teleporters for travel, when you are safely home I will be beamed up."

"Then we have 45 minutes to spend in my car."

"Time that will be well spent."

Oooh the shivers his words invoke, the rumbling quality of his voice make it sound like a statement of a different, more masculine intent. His eyes do not help as they smolder across the small space between us, locking my gaze under his.

The moment crashes suddenly in on me as we stay in the car park, the engine running in the background. Everything feminine in me is startled awake instinctively responding to this large male seated next to me, yielding subconsciously to the intent in his predatory regard. His scent creating a sense of security which encourages surrender.

Even though he's clearly alien my heart beat picks up it's pace and I'm certain J'onn can hear its erratic fluttering. We're locked in a battle of will for what feels like hours before J'onn blinks and the spell is broken. His eyes soften and I almost question my senses but the electric tension in the air leaves no doubt as to what almost happened.

"I apologize," his large green hand settles carefully onto my shoulder. "I lost myself for a moment."

Being dumbstruck isn't very attractive when an apology has been issued but that's me right now. I shake my head at him making sure to give him a reassuring smile while inside I'm wobbling like jelly, afraid to even think of driving while I'm trembling from his intensity. Its fascinating how shadows and gold light can electrify every touch and every whisper of his voice. I had been against his chest hours before in broad daylight with no such reactions but take away the light, the open spaces and introduce a semblance of privacy then watch the magic happen.

His hand drops from my shoulder, his fingers accidently grazing their way down to my elbow, fire breaks out under my skin wherever there was contact but his sorrowed eyes douse the flames instantly. Catching his wrist I'm again struck by how built this alien is, my fingers can't even encircle his wrist!

"J'onn," I'm silenced by his finger coming close to my mouth.

"No. Do not excuse it."

I guess Martian culture must not collide well with that of Earth. That would also explain Diana's frustration with him. He may have chosen to protect his new home but it is by no means a home to him. It may as well be an orphanage: A place you end up in out of lack of choice and not by choice.

Its a conversation to be had with him on a later day so I nod and drive the car out the parking lot. We steadily cruise down each lost in thought. The silence is not oppressive but it is distracting so I turn the radio onto a nice station full of slow jams for background music. We both relax listening to the soothing instruments.

J'onn watches me as I park the car and walk to my door, he's looking at my house with unsettled eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course J'onn." I smile up at him as he throws an uneasy glance behind me.

Suddenly holding me by the shoulders he looms over me looking deadly serious. "If you need me, do not hesitate to call me."

"I will J'onn."

The disturbed look in his eyes has not dissipated, might as well calm him. I wrap my arms around his waist, my head resting comfortably on the red X of his uniform. J'onn tightens his arms around me winding on arm across my back and the other pressing my head further to his chest, his body offering immense shelter. There's a sense of foreboding in this, like the first shoe is waiting to drop on me. Looking up at him just confirms it. He looks pained.

"J'onn what's wrong?"

"Your parents are not in a good mood."

"Oh J'onn, they never are don't you worry about it." I give him a reassuring squeeze for once and release him.

He hardly looks convinced but drops the topic and lets me step out of the circle of his arms. I watch his eyes glow yellow and second later he gives me a smile just as he's teleported to the watch tower.

Time to take a deep breath and face whatever hell lays behind this door.

The house is eerily silent. No squabbling, no sound of my sisters, no sound of the television or radio. Just dead silence. Very dead silence. Please don't let him have hurt them. Panic is settling inside even as my face freezes in an expression of indifference.

Stepping further into hell, my father's room is pitch black and his snores can be heard so he's alive and asleep, mom is nowhere to be found. Both my sisters seem to have taken up refugee in my room, this can only mean one thing. He got angry and she went off to collect herself. Sigh. Such is life, I hate feeling helpless as my younger sisters cry in fear of the eventual outcome of these fights. I know they have no outlet for their pain except tears but it makes me feel twice as guilty. Here I am, spending my time with J'onn while my sisters suffer in silence.

Now I understand why J'onn looked worried, this is a new level of depressing. Not much left to do I suppose, time to be strong for the sisters till they fall asleep and then wallow in self pity.

My two sisters go all out on sniveling into my pillows after recapping the events of the day to me, I nod along, act tough where appropriate, give them unflinching, emotionless advice then tell them to sleep it off. They know by now that nothing they do or say will make my parents any better so best we can do is move on from the moments and survive.

Once they're asleep the blade screams at me. Every fiber in by body consumed with guilt instead of sorrow. I could call J'onn. I probably should call J'onn but it feels like I deserve this punishment. I forgot myself for hours, having the best time in my life while my siblings were probably cuddled together in fear and pain. Even the blade is too much of a blessing, I'll have to spend the night with myself till I am exhausted by thinking.

I stare into the bathroom mirror, my reflection startling me. Just a few minutes ago I was glowing with contentment and now all traces of light are erased from my face. My reflection looks tired and aged beyond my years, my eyes are dulled till the brown looks like its filmed over in grey. Everything looks grey and cold. Fighting back tears, I stumble into the shower, turning the water as hot as it will go to chase away the utter numbness of my body.

The first ten minutes under the steaming water are a fuzzy memory of steam. The heat settles in afterwards, flushing my skin an angry red as I walk out wrapped in a towel.

My nightshirt stifles and constricts me as I stare blankly at the ceiling not really thinking of anything nor looking. J'onn flits through my mind with a subconscious voice telling me to call him. Its quickly silenced by the rest of my mind. I lay awake for hours into the night, just blank, by 3am my eyelids are heavy from both tears that refuse to fall and a lack of sleep. Every valiant effort to escape Morpheus' embrace finally exhausts itself when I tumble into a restless sleep, too tired to call out for J'onn.

I really should have known better. After all I met J'onn through a telepathic mishap so it really shouldn't surprise me to meet him again in my mind but it does.

Its definitely in my mind this time, I can tell the difference now. His scent is absent in my mind realm and he doesn't encompass the space around him. He looks slightly disappointed, his red eyes almost downcast on his aquiline face.

"You should've called. I would have come."

Oh.. So he is disappointed.

"I didn't feel like I deserved it J'onn."

I'm too tired to try hiding or to give a good explanation. Plain and direct honesty is all that's coming out of me. You know you're messed up when you're tired even in your dreams.

"How did you know when I fell asleep?" It is a valid question. Is he keeping tabs on me?

"I was worried," his reply is soft, his touch equally tender on my arm. "It is considered impolite to read minds but that does not mean i can not feel your thoughts when I am concerned. Your thoughts quieten when you fall asleep."

"You needn't have worried J'onn, I think I handled it alright."

Except for nearly boiling myself to death, I didn't even cut myself but then again that was out of masochism than any actual progress of mind.

My words don't appear to comfort him.

"I can take this from you but you have to believe in me." his words are solemn, carrying more gravity than usual.

I know what he's saying, I should trust him to be able to handle what I say, trust him to understand and sympathize, trust him to comfort me, to allow myself to accept his comfort.

In the short time that I've come to know him spanning over three weeks, its clear that J'onn J'onzz commits with his all. He offers comfort freely, his compassion endless. Even in the beginning when any other being would've fled after witnessing the emotional minefield that is my mind, J'onn J'onzz choose to stay in touch watching over like some guardian angel.

How can one not believe in a man of such qualities?

"J'onn..."

Before I can tell him to read my mind he interrupts.

"Tell me."

So I tell him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dear readers,**

 **Make sure to leave a review. I don't know if you all noticed but I've been using qoutes from Justice League to make sure J'onn stays in character.**

 **Disclaimer : J'onn still isn't mine.**

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Chapter Four

The Joining

J'onn listens intently, his face an impossible mask to read. By the time I'm done pouring out my emotions he appears resigned.

"The anger and hatred doesn't surprise me," he states softly. "But the selfishness and the cheap attempts to hide it. The sheer volume of it is upsetting. Whatever love they have for their children should enable them to put aside their anger. You suffer in silence to not be a burden but it costs you your mind. Let me help."

"J'onn, you're a superhero not a psychiatrist. Your job is saving the world, I can't, I won't ask you to help me."

"Earth doesn't seem to be in peril at the moment." he smiles wistfully.

There's no dissuading him. I can see it from the firm set of his mouth and steady eyes.

"What do you suggest?"

"Bond with me."

" _What_?"

"Allow me link your mind with mine." J'onn clarifies.

It takes me a minute to understand what he means but it takes far longer for me to come up with an answer and before I can say a word J'onn continues.

"You need to look inside yourself. Ask yourself, is being here with me helping you?"

I stare at his red eyes, my face portraying blankness. Being in my mind with him is helping, it makes me feel better but what about my sisters? Do they not deserve to feel the same as me?

"J'onn I'm not the only one suffering, for me to take refuge in you is unfair to my sisters. They suffer just as much if not more given their young age."

He sighs, almost imperceptibly as he cups my face in his large hands. I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, causing J'onn to lean down to press his forehead to mine, he straightens up just as his velvet voice surrounds me.

"Humans and aliens do not mix," he looks distant at this moment, as if recalling a past incident. "people of this world do not have much tolerance for others who look different. It is absent in you but your sisters will not respond to me like you. They will fear what they do not know and in their fear they will turn on you, refusing to accept your help."

I know what he says is true. I have witnessed it myself in both my sisters and the people around me. The Justice League superheroes are well known, yet the media shines its light on Superman, Wonder Woman and Flash. Batman hides his identity too well but Green Lantern and J'onn are hardly ever mentioned in the news.

Humans favor humans, even then they favor humans with light skin tones. My sisters would respond better to Superman or Batman but they would never ease up to J'onn the way I do.

Is it proper of me to accept what J'onn is offering knowing I'm privileged to a unique gift?

"Think it over, I am needed for watch duty." J'onn softly interrupts my thoughts.

"Okay."

"I will find you tomorrow, sleep now."

His fingers touch my temple, I can feel the dream state fading away. My sleep turns restful and I just know that J'onn numbed out some of my pain. I whisper a quiet thanks in thoughts ready to let my body rest.

Morning finds me turning away from the streaming sunlight falling into be my face. Blinking my eyes open, the smiling faces of my sisters greet me.

"What happened?"

"Mom came back!" they chorus grinning at me.

"Ooo awesome. So did you all make breakfast?"

"Umm no." the youngest replies still smiling.

Ah youth, the simple joys in life.

"Well then lets go make breakfast alright? You guys go get whatever you think we should have for breakfast, I'll go freshen up and come."

The older of my two younger sisters gives me a smile as she tugs the other along and I know that things have indeed settled from last night's horror to a more normal horror to which we have all been desensitized long ago.

The mirror once again presents me with my face, this time less tired and grey. The entire time I autopilot my way through my morning ritual, my mind turns J'onn's words over and over.

 _Ask yourself, is being here with me helping you?_

Yes. It is helping me. So shouldn't I accept his offer? But to link my mind to his, it seems far more intimate than even the most intimate of human acts.

I don't think J'onn has mind linked himself with the Justice League, at least not in the way he's offering to me. At the bottom of this thought his first words come to mind.

 _I am stronger here than you are. You have to believe in me._

Trust and belief, that's what it all boils down to. Do I trust myself in the mind of this alien? Can he withstand my darkness and not resent me for my thoughts should they turn hateful and selfish? I am human after all, bound to make mistakes, slip up in control and be unreasonable.

J'onn is much older and far more grounded than I could ever hope to be even if did loose his composure yesterday.

"COME DOWN FOR BREAKFAST!"

"COMING!" I shout back at my sisters.

I rush out of the bathroom, dressing quickly before my sisters finish all the food in their joyful mood.

"We made noodles!" the youngest thrusts a plate right in my face.

"Yes.. I would be able to see that if you backed it up a bit."

They burst out laughing and we settle to finish breakfast. Looks like mom has already eaten and dad is nowhere to be found meaning he's gone off for work. At least the house will be peaceful today, my sisters can go off for their classes and enjoy the day.

We clean up the kitchen, prepare lunch for when needed and I help them with their summer holiday projects. Being a college student graduating in approximately six months, I have my own studies to attend to so we gather around to study and munch of snacks. Summer holidays are the best time of year, as a school teacher I get holidays to stay and prepare for the next term.

Being a working student usually occupies my time so thoroughly that I barely have time to spend with my sisters or myself, so now we make the most of it. Mom joins us at the table with steaming cups of tea as she finishes up what we prepared for lunch. We work in a happy silence till lunch time comes around.

The dining room fills with idle chatter after which mom takes my sisters out for their music and art lessons. The house is all mine.

J'onn crosses my mind as I settle myself on the window ledge with my college notebook.

When I think about it I already trust him. I just spent hours with him without a single concern for the fact that I basically went out to meet a stranger after he telepathically contacted me. To top it off, it didn't even occur to me that I might be harmed. I simply trusted him with my physical presence and all my emotions.

Hmm.. Time to head off to the park for a thoughtful walk.

It had become a habit, my mind clears better when I'm walking surrounded by trees and sunlight so I often head out to the park with my books and bagful of snacks. Depending on what's available in my kitchen I often end up making sandwiches, pies, tarts and various drinks. Today I'm the mood for sandwhiches, tarts and fruits.

The early evening is a time when crowds gather in the park so I escape the crowds and make my way to my favorite place.

Blanket spread out, books in a corner and snacks in my bag, I lay down to read. The books captures my attention for an hour before the sound of rustling leaves and sunlight on my face distract me.

Lowering my book I stare up at the canopy of leaves breaking apart to create points of sunlight which twinkle in the wind like stars in a night sky.

My mind linked with J'onn would be something like that I imagine. My thoughts interrupted by his like the sunlight breaking through the leaves, lending the darkness much needed color. Would it be as beautiful as this? Will I feel this way once it is done?

It catches me by surprise when blue light fizzles into life a few feet away from me. I jerk upright, ready to throw my book at it and flee.

J'onn materializes before my eyes, his brow raised in question at my book aimed like a javelin at him.

"God you startled me." I breathe out lowering my arm.

"I apologize. It was not my intention."

I nod at him gesturing to the blanket, my heart wildly thumping from the scare I pull out a bottle of water for drink, watching him as he settles down beside me.

J'onn doesn't look the least bit tired after yesterday and his watch duty. I mention this to him as I offer the bottle to him.

"Thank you, my Martian physiology doesn't require much rest."

"I'm sure that comes in very handy as a superhero."

"Indeed it does."

We settle into silence, each regarding the other carefully, both contemplating the obvious unsaid until I reach out and touch his arm to break the heavy silence.

"J'onn, I've thought about what you said." I look straight into his eyes, seeing the red orbs reflecting me back. "I accept."

J'onn takes my hands carefully in his. It soothes me immediately and I can feel my heartbeat slowing down.

"You need not fear, on Mars we were all connected to each other through the Great Voice. It was the collective sound of the thoughts of my people. Now I am the sole survivor and there is no voice to be heard but silence all around me." he pauses and I feel the gravity of his words.

This would be new to me but it would be normal to him, he was used to the thoughts of a thousand Martians flickering through his mind. I could barely stand my own.

"You will be safe in my hands. I have a feeling this will be easier for you than you think. You will be able to hear my thoughts, find me at any time you need me, if you desire it to be less I can control it."

Every word J'onn says reassures me further and I know I've made the right call.

"J'onn just one question, I understand what you are saying and I understand what to expect now but what about you? Will you be alright knowing that I am privy to your thoughts? I feel like this isn't something even the Justice League is a part of."

His smile radiates warmth along with his hands which cup my face in what I'm beginning to believe is his favorite move.

"I assure you, I will be fine. And yes, you are correct, the Justice League is not a part of this. They would not be able to understand this but you, you'll handle it."

"Alright then J'onn, how do we do this?"

His fingers spread out till the back of my head is cradled in his hands, his thumbs at each of my temples pressing in lightly. He tilts my head up to look at me, his baritone voice softly urging me to close my eyes.

I watch as his red eyes are blocked by my eyelids and become acutely aware of his warmth around me, the rustle of his cape in the wind as it drapes across his biceps, his dark wood and rain scent surrounds me just as electricity shoots through my temples.

My hands fly to his forearms to ground myself from the sudden onslaught of sheer emotions. Its like dying where instead of my life flashing before my eyes, I see his life flash across my eyes.

All of his memories, his life, his wife and child, his planet, battles, sorrow, acceptance of his fate, happiness, contentment and sense of purpose invade every one of my senses, making me live his life as if I were him.

Its dizzying, its terrifying and its heart wrenchingly painful.

I come out of it to find J'onn wiping away my tears, his voice tenderly coaxing me to open my eyes.

"Look at me. I have you."

My eyes must have given away my pain on his behalf for suddenly he's pressing his forehead to mine, whispering in what I vaguely register as Martian. The words escape me completely in my raw state. I need to feel him, to know I'm out of my head and in reality.

J'onn pulls me to his chest, his cape engulfing me as my eyes close, breathing in his scent till everything slowly fades into proper focus. The movement of his chest makes me notice the details around me once again.

Nothing seems different, his breathing is steady, his warmth makes itself known to my mind, my mind! It feels like a scrambled rubrik's cube.

There are whispers in the back of my head that have J'onn's voice in a language I don't recognize. Just as the thought floats across my mind, his thoughts translate into English.

The suddenly comprehensible thoughts calm my jumbled mind, helping me take into account where and what has changed.

' _My mind is open to you now, reach for a memory of me and you can find me.'_

How do I reply to his thoughts in my head?

' _You just did.'_

His joyous laughter echoes through my head making me smile physically. Feeling much better I gently pull back from being hidden in his chest to looking up at him.

He smiles for the first time with his teeth showing. It lights up his face and a stray thought flits through my head, here I am almost on the lap of an ancient and powerful alien telepath having just been linked into his mind and guided by the hand on handling my thoughts, I feel like a child.

J'onn presses an almost paternal kiss to my forehead, it conveys a sense of protection, shelter and affection.

"How do you feel?"

He can feel I feel, there's no need for him to ask me that but again when I focus on him I can feel his thoughts, he wants to help me snap from mental to verbal expressions without stumbling. There is a memory at the recesses of his mind which brush up as his thoughts explain this to me. A memory of a green skinned angular child, struggling to accept a mental link with him just like I am doing now.

J'onn seems instantly saddened by the memory.

"You miss them greatly."

I whisper to him, my hand touching his cheek gently. He closes his eyes at my touch. This is the first time I've touched him anywhere personal.

"Very much."

A mission of his comes to the forefront of my mind as J'onn subconsciously relieves a struggle under the temptation of a gold masked witch who offered him his planet in return for a stone. The memory is replaced by him crushing the stone and along with it his hopes of ever seeing his wife and daughter.

"J'onn... How can you live with such a weight in your heart? Do you not feel hopeless sometimes?"

My mind supplies him with the time I stared at my violent parents going all out at each other. How I felt worthless ad helpless, like there was no purpose of my being alive.

"Only if you believe it to be, is it so."

J'onn opens his eyes capturing my hand in his and lowering it to his chest. His words are backed by his thoughts gently guiding me through each attempt at the blade, each attempt at a permanent solution.

' _Humanity has great capacity for hope, it is their strongest trait, it is also present in me and you.'_

His thought sounds out in my head giving me hope as it were. Hope for tomorrow to be better, hope for more precious moments with J'onn and hope for his heartache to fade with time.

As these thoughts circle around in my head J'onn watches me quietly, occasionally sliding his fingers over my knuckles. His rough finger tips dragging across my skin, creating friction and heat. I curl back into his chest, my ear against the edge of his blue cape collar.

The Martian wraps his arm around my shoulder, draping his cape like a sheet over my neatly tucked body as he leans back against the tree behind him. Neither of us say anything, simply breathing and listening to the random thoughts crossing each others minds.

I must have dozed off in his embrace for when my eyes blink open darkness is setting in and J'onn is breathing much slower than usual. Perhaps he's asleep too? I stay still, not wanting to wake him and instead focus my thoughts on him to see if I can hear anything when he's asleep.

Sure enough he's asleep, the thoughts in his mind have no pattern and are all in Martian. Whatever I can decode hints at the comfort he feels having a warm body against his. Now that is something I can wholeheartedly agree with. Being able to read his mind, I know what he wants just as he realizes it so when J'onn dreams of me cuddling up to him, I am able to make his dream come true.

An appreciative hmm escapes his throat making his chest vibrate. His thoughts change pattern as he starts to wake, loosing their randomness and becoming more focused on my warmth, the cold air and his location.

"I thought your Martian physiology meant you didn't as much sleep as us humans."

"When a link is formed, the brain needs to rearrange its neurons. That's is why we both fell asleep. Tell me, how do you feel?"

Now that he mentions it I feel centered once more, no longer raw and edgy. We spend a while listening to our thoughts, J'onn encourages me to try to control the flow of information from him, as well as to try controlling what I let him see. Its many minutes later when I realize that I'm hungry and that I have snacks.

J'onn releases me to empty my bag of its edible content. I know from his thoughts he too is hungry and we quietly munch on sandwiches, tartlets and fruits. Its almost a picnic and I watch him enjoy different flavors.

"Have you tried tartlets before J'onn?"

"No. This is something new."

"Well you like milk and sweet flavors so I'm sure this will be a favorite."

"You have excellent taste in food."

I offer him the tartlets, feeling his thoughts burst into my mind as he instantly takes a liking to it.

 _'It was a given, you loves oreos_.'

J'onn finishes it happily, his mind filing away tartlets for future consumption as I giggle at his cream covered mouth. I send him the picture of how he appears right now when he looks at my giggles in question.

Its a hilarious image, his green upper lip coated in whipping cream from the tartlet. Handing him a tissue I grin at his serene face not wanting this moment to die.

By the time we are done and ready to go night has once more settled in and J'onn escorts me to the car, his slight hesitation before getting in doesn't escape my notice and I'm reminded of last night and the electric tension between us.

 _'J'onn_..'


	5. Chapter 5

**Dear Readers,**

 **Welcome to the emotional turnmoil and sexual tension chapter. I still haven't gotten reviews although my traffic graphs indicate a lot of viewers. Please let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer: He's not mine!**

* * *

Chapter Five

The Pain

This stoic, collected Martian almost looks ashamed as he makes no attempt at blocking his thoughts from me.

It takes my breath away when I feel how equally affected he was by the moment. His thoughts swirling in confusion as he's taken by surprise by his sudden attraction to me, a reaction he never expected from himself for someone who looks nothing like the females of his race and is much, much younger.

My thoughts follow a similar pattern now that I have insight to his mind. Biologically all species are engineered to find their own species attractive, it is a fundamental requirement for the survival of a species. Therefore J'onn's self actualization is very accurate and raises a very good question about myself as well. Why am I feeling the attraction I feel towards him when he's clearly different in almost all the aspects I'm used to?

He's huge, he's _green_ , he's red eyed and much older than me, his mind a pool of complex emotions that don't faze him as much as the simpler turbulence in mine unhinges me.

J'onn backs me into the side of the car, his body looming over mine as his eyes glint dangerously in the low light. His human eyes.

"Do not put yourself down, you carry a great burden for one so young." His voice almost growls, his thoughts expressing his displeasure at my lack of self appreciation.

Unfortunately, while my mind recognizes the repressed anger in his voice, my body responds to his proximity and low voice in a very female manner.

I watch the recognition of what he invoked in me cross his eyes as he takes a step back, providing me with enough room to breathe without being overwhelmed by him.

I blink up at him like a deer caught in the headlights, my heart straining against my chest, his eyes gaze on flushed face. My attention is caught by the steady up and down of his broad chest, my body yearning to be firmly held in his arms.

J'onn must have decided something while my mind was thus occupied for he presses me back into the car, his arm snug around my waist letting me fulfill my sudden touch crave. His massive frame ensures that I'm completely surrounded, my ear over his heart. My body relaxes, molding to fit the planes and angles of his dense body. He gently rubs my back, his large fingers splayed over my back as their warmth seeps into me, slowly easing me back to look down at my face.

"Let's get in the car?"

J'onn gets the door for me. Once we are shut away from prying eyes he drops his disguise gracing me with his red eyes. I start the car for my 45 minute ride, this time no uncomfortable silence between us.

There is a thin line waiting to be crossed. Neither of us wanting to be the first to cross it. He's a widower and I'm an unattached young girl at the highlight of my youth. Its clear from his thoughts that he doesn't want to betray the memory of his wife and I'm certain he can read my hesitation as well.

' _J'onn, being here with you means a lot to me. We both know we can fill the blanks for each other...'_

 _'There will be time for that.'_ He interrupts my thoughts with his own.

His mind supplies me unwittingly with his desire to consume me. The memory far too repressed to be clear has an underlying voice to it that is distinctly female and I know I shouldn't drag that one up so I let it bounce through without drawing attention to it.

My eyes focus on the road ahead as J'onn lets me hear his concerns and emotional turmoil.

"I have now spent many years on earth never expecting this moment." He turns to look at me as I glance over at him. "I can read what you want and how to give it but that is not what I wish for you."

"I understand what you mean J'onn."

"Yes you do, you have far too much experience for your years."

"You make it sound like a bad thing." I grin wryly at him.

"Perhaps it is a heavy truth." J'onn gently whispers it, his hand slowly tucking a few strands of my hair behind my ear. I lean into the touch, his warmth breaking my skin into goose flesh.

The rest of the drive home is spent in smiles and quiet thoughts, both of us reading things off each others minds instead of talking out loud. By the time I park the car and get out, J'onn places his hand on my shoulder, telling me to use the link if I need him before he presses another kiss to my forehead and steps back to be beamed to the watchtower.

At home everything is looking good, my sisters are back and entertaining themselves with the television. Mom has prepared dinner and dad is fast asleep. All in all, better than expected. I grab dinner and head for my room wanting to sleep a solid eight hours for once.

As I get ready for bed I wonder what J'onn is up to and I search for him in my mind. He appears to be in a conversation with a league member. Hmm better not disturb him, time to sleep.

For once I'm looking forward to sleeping and this time without tears, blades or guilt. Just as I feel myself falling into sleep, a baritone good night echoes in my mind.

The next morning I feel like a new person. Fresh, relaxed and happy. Searching for the Martian greets me with Martian words, conclusion: J'onn is asleep.

I hop, skip and dance my way through the day before my art knife catches my attention.

I carefully run the tip of my finger over the sharp edge, making sure to not cut myself for once. I can feel the gentle press of thoughts in my mind, meaning J'onn is awake, aware and concerned.

 _'I'm not going to do anything disastrous J'onn.'_

 _'I am aware.'_

 _'I feel oddly grateful to it, if it wasn't for that first night, I'd never have this.'_

J'onn is silent as he looks through my mind while I carefully tuck the art knife into a drawer. We stay in touch throughout the day, each of us getting used to the other in our heads. Everytime I listen to his thoughts, I'm pleased to see how much the link is doing for him. It appears that his fellow superheroes can't place the finger on why J'onn is looking much more relaxed this morning.

' _Diana is observant, would it offend you if I discuss this with her?'_

 _'J'onn, I assure you, I would be honored.'_

I leave him to his talk, going to catch up on my college work. Halfway through the day J'onn urgently tells me he's going for a mission.

' _Be careful while I'm gone, if you focus on me and I am in pain, you will feel it too. Let me contact you when I return.'_

 _'J'onn! Be safe.'_

Its way past midnight before J'onn contacts me again. Time that I spent heeding his words, I've watched enough movies to know how unwise it is to go against such commands. Almost always, it results in the man having to suffer unnecessary trouble caused by one headstrong woman who thinks she's going to make it easier for him when she's clearly inexperienced and has no plan whatsoever except to get caught by the villains.

That is one thing I am not going to do.

' _Are you well?'_

 _'Shouldn't I be asking you that J'onn? Are you injured?'_

 _'No. It was an easy mission. Why are you still awake?'_

 _'I was worried..'_

 _'You shouldn't have been, you need rest, it will be a few days before your body adjusts to the mental demand.'_

 _'Oh... That explains why I slept a solid eight hours.'_

 _'Indeed, you need to rest.'_

 _'What about you J'onn?'_

 _'My people lived with the Great Voice from an early age, what is new to you is normal to me. Now rest or your headache in the morning will be worse.'_

My mind must've indicated how confused I was for J'onn gently hushes me and guides me to sleep.

The next morning J'onn's prediction was proved correct, I woke up with a massive headache. My temples pounding in protest as I sit up, feeling oddly disoriented.

' _Good morning.'_

 _'J'onn... Don't...'_

 _'I did warn you. You need sleep, eat and spend the day in bed. It will only be worse if you do not rest.'_

His voice carries a hint of pained amusement, the memory of his daughter as she underwent almost exactly what I am undergoing now brushes into his mind.

' _J'onn..'_

 _'Hush little one, sleep. I will be watching over you.'_

When I awake once more, its well past mid day and my headache is gone. I inform J'onn as I devour lunch with new gusto.

' _Feeling better?'_

 _'Yes J'onn. How about you?'_

J'onn fills my head with an image of strawberry tartlets held on a white plate.

 _'I have acquired a treat._ '

I can't help the laughter in my head. This stoic, grave faced alien holding up sweets like a child.

' _It_ was _you who introduced me to these wonders,'_ he mock complains. ' _Flash has been giving me the odd look ever since I bit into it.'_

I choke on my lunch as I remember how J'onn got cream on his lip when he bit into the tartlet. I proceed to remind him of just that. It is a few minutes before he replies.

 _'I fear you were correct.'_

The remainder of the day was spent with me catching up on sleep and telepathically talking to J'onn or listening to his thoughts. By the time night rolled in, we bid each other good night before sleeping. Sleep was fast becoming very important.

And thus began our new routine, J'onn telepathically communicates with me whenever he is free and I'm not distracted, I do the same, giving him privacy whenever he's occupied with any Justice League business. This followed for a week until three days ago, J'onn has been silent ever since. He gave me the same warning to stay away from actively searching for him and bid me to stay safe but I haven't heard from him since.

I've been turning the thoughts over and over whether I should disobey him purely for my peace of mind or if I should keep faith. In the end, the pain of not knowing wins and I close my eyes to focus on J'onn.

For the first time, hearing his thoughts are difficult, I can barely hear him as he's busy struggling to think. My body runs cold in fear. J'onn is in serious trouble. The next minute, pain shoots through my body and I collapse onto the floor, the strength in my body being sapped away.

I wake up an hour later to find myself still sprawled ungracefully on the floor with a massive headache. Damn it. Time to sleep some more. But sleep doesn't embrace me, the pain I felt keeps making me toss and turn, worrying about J'onn, knowing he's in pain.

Eventually I must've fallen asleep as the morning sunlight wakes me up. On instinct I reach out for J'onn, his mind finally a mess of Martian thoughts indicating sleep, rather than pain. I badly want to see him with my own eyes just to reassure myself that he's fine. I wander about the house with half a mind on autopilot while the other keeps tabs on J'onn. Its hard to follow his thoughts when they are in Martian, the words not translating into anything discernable but the images in his head help to put together what happened as he relives it in what I figure is a nightmare.

There's not much I can do to ease his nightmares besides waking him up. The gift of telepathy and mind tricks belongs entirely to J'onn. So doing the next logical thing I call out in my mind for him, trying to rouse him into consciousness as gently as possible.

 _'J'onn, wake up. You're dreaming.'_

' _J'onn.'_

 _'Come on J'onn, its me. Wake up.'_

His thoughts slowly focus as sleep fades away, his mind disoriented and hazy.

' _J'onn?'_

 _'I apologize.'_ That's the first thing out of his mind. ' _Did I frighten you?'_

 _'No. J'onn can I see you today? Teleport to my house?'_

Today being a Friday, the day the house is all mine till Monday. My mom and sisters always go to visit my mother's relatives for the weekends and my father doesn't turn up till Monday. In other words the house is all mine for two whole days and tonight.

' _I will be there in an hour.'_

I scramble into the kitchen to fix dinner for J'onn and me. Hmm what to make? Somehow he strikes me as a vegetarian, now then Thick Vegetable soup and croutons would suit the night well. The strawberry pie I made with my sisters should do for dessert.

I dance through the house, straightening things up and making dinner. J'onn beams into the living room just as I finish heating up the pie.

He looks exhausted even though he maintains his dominating posture. There are dark green marks on his skin that look painful, red eyes lack their usual calm, his entire face expressing pain. Rushing over I guide him to the sofa.

"J'onn, you look terrible. Can I get you anything? Sit down!"

"I am fine."

"Totally not believing you."

I fetch him a glass of water and a few painkillers should he need them, although I'm not sure if they're compatible with his Martian biology.

I gently touch his arm, catching his wandering focus as I offer him the glass of water and inspecting his appearance closely as he drinks. There are cuts on his skin, a few grazes on his face where he probably took a few solid punches. Whatever is not an open cut is already healing, his impressive regeneration abilities kicking in.

"J'onn, lie down for me?"

"What?" he sounds rightfully confused.

Taking the glass from him, I guide him to lay down, running my hand over his chest to part his cape. The cuts haven't been cleaned so I'm certain J'onn just handled formalities before arriving here.

He must be unusualy tired for he doesn't notice me leaving his side, nor does he notice when I return with a basin of hot water and clean towels but his eyes fly open and his baritone voice growls in warning as I press the warm cloth to his cuts. His hand unconsciously holding my wrist in a near painful grip.

"J'onn?"

"I apologize," he releases my hand as if burnt. "You need not do that. They will heal."

I ignore him and continue to clean out the cuts on his chest, watching as they slowly start to close. His arm falls across my lap, watching me with hazy eyes as I settle down near his waist on the sofa. His angular face comes next and for once I cup his jaw, gently turning his face to tend to the open bruises and wipe down his face.

The water takes on an odd tinge of red from his blood as I run the damp towel down his arms and chest. His hand curls around my wrist once I'm done.

"Thank you."

My heart wrenches in pained sympathy and I press a gentle kiss to his cheek.

' _Rest_.'

I throw the blanket which is across the back of my sofa over J'onn, tucking him in as he falls into a healing sleep. The wounds loosing their raw edges, the cuts closing as I watch. Unable to resist I press a kiss to his sloped forehead and leave him to rest.

Throwing the towels into the washer and emptying the red tinged water in the basin, I'm struck by how badly J'onn must've been hurt for his healing to still not have completed.

I leave the door ajar so that I can hear J'onn if he calls out for me and proceed to have a soak in the tub, figuring he might be out like a light for awhile. Focusing on his thoughts surprises me. For his mind is blank for once. No thoughts in Martian or English. So this is the Martian healing sleep.

When I step out of the tub, smelling of ylang ylang flowers, my reflection catches my attention. I look beautiful and relaxed, my raven black hair twisted over my shoulder, my brown eyes filled with contentment and my skin no longer looking grey.

J'onn shifts in the living room, the sofa creaking under his large body. Quickly changing into a white t shirt and shorts I half dry my hair, letting it sort itself out as usual.

He is blinking awake as I walk into the living room, his color improved and movements natural once more. I settle down next to him, squeezing his hand in both of mine, inexplicably happy to see him looking better. His free hand touches the still wet strands of my hair, running his fingers through it curiously.

"It is fascinating how it absorbs water isn't it?" I ask him when he's still marveling at they way my hair clings to his fingers.

J'onn smiles at me. My only excuse is that I had been worried, his silence, his pain and his presence here now overwhelmed me. That's the only reason I can think of which caused tears to well up in my eyes at his smile.

"I'm sorry J'onn but I was worried and I tried to locate you but you were in so much pain and I collapsed and I was so worried but you're here and-"

J'onn cups my face his forehead pressed to mine. "Hush, don't cry. I am fine."

My arms wrap around his neck, trying to pull him to my body but he releases me and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"I will stain your white shirt, permit me to use your bathroom and I give you my word, you can hold onto me till you feel better."

Smiling at his words I show him the bathroom, leaving a towel for him as I head to the kitchen knowing he'll be hungry once he's showered. The soup gets reheated while I set out bowls and spoons for us. The crotons piled onto a plate sit neatly between the two plates on the kitchen island.

The pie, I hide under a lid wondering idly if J'onn has x ray vision. Laughing at myself I straighten up the sofa and turn on the radio to chase away the silence while J'onn showers.

He emerges looking much better and walks up to me, his arms slipping around my shoulders and waist. I melt against him, squeezing him as tightly as possible although his density resists the pressure I exert. He smells wonderful, the rain and spice scent unhindered by the wear of the day. Being as short as I am compared to J'onn, I'm unable to press my face to his neck so I immediately curl my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down as he noses against my hair breathing in the therapeutic scent of ylang ylang flowers.

"Shall we eat? I know you're hungry after all that healing."

J'onn hums his acquiescence as I release him, both of us settling down for dinner. A comfortable silence embraces us, the radio providing the perfect background noise.

"I have a treat for you."

"A tartlet?" he sounds so hopeful.

"Something better J'onn." I uncover the strawberry pie. "Ta-da!"

The alien red eyes widen and his thoughts betray his eagerness to try whatever I recommend. Smiling at his face, I serve him a giant portion, watching his face as he blissfully digs into it.

One thing I learnt after all this time with J'onn is, Martians don't wear their hearts on their sleeves. It is difficult to discern expressions on his stoic face unless one pays attention to the subtle nuances. Right now the light in his red eyes, the subtle upturn of his mouth give away his happiness and pleasure.

J'onn savors the pie, happy thoughts bursting into my mind as he bites into the sweet filling. I try to memorize this moment. A giant green alien, a tiny silver spoon in his hands and a nearly finished strawberry pie. J'onn catches my eye as I stare at him, tenderness welling inside my chest for this lonely Martian.

Dinner done, I place all the dishes into the sink, J'onn insisting on helping me clean gets dinnerware drying duty. Its serenely domestic, having dinner, cleaning up with the radio in the background playing soft instrumentals and gently brushing each others fingers as we pass plates.

"Would you like to sleep J'onn? You must be needing sleep." I ask as I place the cutlery in their drawers.

"Rest would be welcome."

"Come on then, you're having my room for the night."

"Where will you sleep?"

"My sisters' room, don't you worry. Come on."

I tug him to my room, getting out a fresh blanket and placing a glass of water on the bedside table.

"Call me if you need anything, I'll be right across from you." I point out to the connecting door that opens to my sister's room.

J'onn gives my shoulder a squeeze in thanks, I smile up at him and head to my room for the night, turning to bid him good night as he turns the covers.

Sleep doesn't find me. Knowing J'onn is just ten steps and a door away, keep me awake for hours. I know he's fast asleep because his thoughts have been in Martian for the past hour. My mind tracks his thoughts lazily, trying to get the randomness to lull me to sleep.

I'm almost asleep when John starts dreaming. His mind filling with images instead of words. Its shocks me as I watch him relive the pain of his battle quickly replaced by images of me carefully cleaning the cuts on his chest, my hand cupping his face and the slight impression of hug.

Watching myself from another's view is disconcerting. Seeing the look of pain on my face, the tremble of my hands when I freeze as his body tenses. Its like watching a movie of me but through it all, J'onn's emotions are what captivate me. The tenderness in his heart and gratitude as he stills my hands, fill me with happiness as I fall asleep.

Saturday morning yanks me out of bed when I hear J'onn in the living room. The distinct sound of glassware giving away his location.

' _J'onn?'_

 _'I did not mean to wake you.'_

 _'No worries, I'll join you in a few minutes.'_

Brushing up for the day, I change out of my sleep clothes already thinking of breakfast only to be surprised by J'onn expertly preparing tea in my kitchen. Two plates of toast sitting on the counter.

"J'onn you didn't have to." I whisper, touched by his thoughtfulness.

"I wanted to."

He smiles at me, his eyes glowing in the golden sunlight. I pull his head down to press a kiss to his cheek. ' _Thank you.'_

J'onn strokes his thumb over my temple. I give him a grin before helping him with breakfast. Jam, butter, cheese and milk are quickly settled on the counter followed by us. Tea in hand I lead J'onn to my bedroom, the window there gives the best view of the outside world in the morning light.

I sit down on my bed, watching the light bathe the room in gold. J'onn places his cup on the side table, his eyes travelling to each painting hanging on the walls as he touches the canvases. Looking at him, so graceful and unharmed I'm reminded about last night at when I tried to contact him.

"J'onn I wanted to ask you, what happened on your mission? I was looking for you before you contacted me and I passed out from the pain you were under."

" _What_?"

He freezes at my words, setting on the edge of the bed, his hands quickly framing my face. His eyes glow orange as he prods my mind but this doesn't feel the same. Its like he's assessing for damage instead of reading my thoughts, testing each pathway in my brain to see if they're in working order. At length he releases my face looking relieved but stern.

"I warned you not to search for me, you could have done serious harm to yourself."

At a loss how to respond, I cautiously watch him, not knowing what to say to defuse the edge in his voice. J'onn tilts my chin up to face him, his eyes softening at my wounded expression. He runs his fingers into my hair, tilting my head to press an apologetic kiss to my brow.

 _'I do not want you hurt. Especially because of me. Forgive my tone but you could have suffered nerve damage little one.'_

 _'I'm sorry but the silence worried me.'_

"I know." he combs my hair with his fingers, watching me as I stare up. "We were thrown back in time, Vandal Savage and his men were lending modern technology to the enemy, I was captured when I went to spy on the facility. His interrogator had some impressive techniques.."

I press my face into the side of his neck, arms tightly locked around him. I've seen enough torture videos to know what happened without having to look through his memories. I know I won't survive those and I also know J'onn won't allow me to access them.

I breathe in his calming scent, allowing myself to nuzzle into his neck, my lips accidently brushing against his throat. J'onn stills. His arm locked at my waist before he growls under his breath, vibrations escaping his chest to mine. My body responds to him without thought, heat flooding my skin as his masculinity asserts itself.

J'onn draws back to look at my flushed face. My thoughts scream in my head, wanting his mouth on mine but J'onn untangles himself from me.

"J'onn?"

He presses his finger against my lips.

"Not like this." he whispers. "Know me."

His mind guides me through his culture, through the meaning behind each kiss, each touch he places on me. Things I never explored about him are brought to light as he shows me who he is as a male and not just who he is in general. He is a calm, collected voice of reason who is sane in the face of mind numbing loss. But under all that he's a male, a dominant, passionate male that ravages his female just as much as he tenderly cares for her.

His thoughts turn to his wife and he withdraws from my mind. I give his hand a firm squeeze and leave him to his thoughts, knowing he needs moment alone to think of the feelings he has for me.

I tend to the garden, watch the news and debate making tea when J'onn walks briskly to me. His face grim. A quick look into his mind shows Diana calling him for an emergency.

 _'I know J'onn, go.'_

"I will be back soon." he promises me with a kiss to my head before he is teleported to wherever he is needed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear readers**

 **I'm on a roll! New chapter is up! This a lemon so you can skip this if you wish. The next chapter doesn't require you to read this.**

 **Warning: Lemon! Martian love making. Not very vanilla.**

 **Disclaimer: oh the things I'd do to J'onn if he were mine.**

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Chapter Six

The Embrace

Sighing at the turn of events, I dejectedly make tea.

I know I can't be angry, all his thoughts and conflicts were open to me. J'onn never hid what he felt regarding his wife. The blame lies with me if no one else for my strong reaction to his predatory stare and deep growls.

I know J'onn is attracted to me but his maturity and experience enable him to control his reactions till he gives almost nothing away physically while my inexperience sets my body aflame under him.

The day progresses monotonously as I fix myself lunch and stare at the same word in my book for over twenty minutes, not having a clue about what I read. Suffice it to say I'm distracted. I know better than to read his mind when he's on a mission both out of fear of distracting him and of him reprimanding me for any damage I might sustain.

Nightfall is not welcome as the sun sets around me and J'onn is yet to return. I order pizza out of sheer boredom while popping bubbles in the bathwater, fingers lazily swirling the foam.

Wrapping my hair in a towel I slip into my night dress, donning my navy blue dressing gown over it as the bell rings for my pizza.

Paying the delivery boy I plop down on the couch, flicking on the tv to a nature documentary. Halfway through the pizza, tiredness sets in and I clear up for the night heading to bed, hoping J'onn is safe as I hang up the dressing gown and let down my hair.

My bed smells like fresh rain and spices, J'onn's scent surrounding me calms my mind. Before I know it, my face buries itself in the pillow J'onn used last night as I fall asleep.

Sometime in the night the soft sound of footsteps penetrate my sleep and a heavy hand falls onto my shoulder, gently rubbing my back. The bed dips at my waist as the hand brushes up my neck, moving my hair out of my face. A firm press of lips pull me out of my sleep just as J'onn pulls away. My arm shoots out to grip his hand.

'Stay.'

J'onn sits back down on the bed, his cape, red cross and boots dematerializing as he slips under the covers pulling me to his chest.

His warmth pulls a whimper from my lips just as his arm settles comfortably across my waist. The steady rise and fall of his breathing brushes his bare chest against my back, the silk of my night dress teasing my skin which is coming alive in his proximity. J'onn presses a kiss to the back of my neck his mind whispering apologies.

'You don't have to apologize, I know what you're dealing with.'

"Look at me." he requests softly, his voice in the quiet night sending shivers through my body.

I turn to face him, knowing we already crossed the line the minute he climbed into my bed.

"I was at a social gathering with the founding members tonight and Diana forced me to realize something."

J'onn wraps his arms around me, pulling me flush to his chest, my body barely half the width of his. He cards his fingers through my hair as he continues his thoughts.

"She told me I was living in the past when I had already been blessed with a future. I realized she was correct when I saw you sleeping." he traces my eyes, his thumb brushing over my lip. "You look so fragile, your mind uneasy, full of self blame. It was not my intention to hurt you."

"J'onn," I'm silenced by his finger coming close to my mouth.

"J'onn.." I breathe out to him.

His fingers fold under my chin, gently turning my face up to meet his. His thumb runs slowly over my bottom lip making it tingle as my body becomes overly sensitive. The tremble in my body causes his free hand to splay at my lower back. The heat making me arch up, my lips parting under his finger.

J'onn's red eyes darken, his body demanding I yield to him. It must be a Martian biological behavior but being human doesn't make me immune to it. I catch a memory of his which I unwittingly recreate.

I turn my face slightly to the left, baring the long column of my neck to J'onn.

The reaction in instantaneous.

J'onn J'onzz, breath flying in sharply tightening his fingers at my waist, attacks my neck.

I let out a keening whimper, hands clutching at his biceps as he zeroes in on my weak spot, his teeth worrying the skin while his tongue runs soothingly over it. Like all things with J'onn, its dizzyingly too much.

He releases my neck memorizing the wrecked sound leaving my throat as he firmly turns my head in the opposite direction. Knowing what's coming doesn't prepare me in the least as he once again latches onto my neck.

My body surrenders to him without my conscious effort and J'onn seems to notice instantly. He doesn't pause as he guides me beneath his large frame, effectively pinning me down.

I whimper under him, every sensation bordering on the wrong side of too much even though all he's done so far is tease my throat and cover me.

' _J'onn_!'

J'onn slows his ravaging, his touch changing till it soothes me more than it arouses me. His arm props him over my head, the fingers of his free hand gently grazing my lips, his thoughts clear as he works out the mechanics of kissing.

I don't even want to take control of this situation, the sheer amount of overwhelming sensation he has created by sucking on my neck is enough indication that the Martian Manhunter is far more experienced than I'd imagine.

"Yield to me."

I can barely recognize his voice! The husky tone nearly undoes me just as his fingers settle at the back of my head, his thumb gently forcing my chin up.

He descends on my mouth as my eyes close. The soft press of his lips feels tentative before my lips part under his and my thoughts frizzle out as he invades all of my senses. I moan into his mouth. He tastes like smells, fresh rain.

J'onn groans as he slips his tongue into my mouth, twisting it to rub against my own. Its like being a virgin again, lost under the assault of a man, unsure how to reciprocate.

My hands tug on his neck and I slip my tongue into his mouth, eager to suck on his tongue.

His hand travels down the side of my body, slipping under my nightdress to touch my bare thigh. His touch electrifies me and I find myself whimpering uncontrollably as he silences my moans by sucking in my tongue. My body is writhing under his unmovable bulk, demanding friction where the heat is most in me.

J'onn releases my mouth, pulling back enough to pull my dress over my head, his eyes taking me in while my fingers touch his chest as he leans back.

His chest is part of him I find myself often pulled against and the density of his muscles will always amaze me as I trace the contours along the well defined clavicles, pectorals and the valleys between each muscle in his stomach.

J'onn leans forward and kisses me before he sits back on his knees. He coaxes my thighs apart across his waist, his width making it almost uncomfortable. The material of his shorts rubbing against me offer the barest of relief as he leans over me once more, his mouth working its way down my ear, past my neck upon which he once more nips and licks till I'm writhing furiously. My fists lock in the sheets as tears gather in my eyes. I need friction.

J'onn pays no heed to my thoughts, he simply runs both his hands over my stomach, gliding up to cup my breasts, a forefinger and thumb gently pinching each nipple just as he bites down on my neck.

"J'onn!"

My release catches me by surprise, every muscle locking down as I reach my peak without ever having been touched at my most intimate of places.

J'onn's grinning face greets me as I touch down from my high, my body screaming for something to contract on instead of empty space inside me.

"J'onn..."

"Hush. I know." he proceeds to show exactly how well he knows by rubbing his fingers over the wetness of my underwear, providing me with the first actual friction for the night, I can't help moving against his hand, needing any part of him inside to ease the empty clenching.

J'onn pulls my panties down my legs, his pants dematerialized somewhere along the way. Before I can get a good look at him, he pushes my thighs apart, his eyes turning the darkest shade of red I've ever seen. It reasserts his dominance as he looms over me, carefully guiding his tip against me. He feels huge and if the rest of him is any indication then he's definitely huge.

J'onn presses a calming kiss to my forehead, his hands gripping mine as an anchor.

 _'Look at me.'_

My eyes lock onto his darkened ones, arousal and slight apprehension making me tense under him. J'onn nuzzles against my jaw, his body poised to penetrate me.

"You are too tense," he kisses me gently. "Breathe."

Breathing out, I melt under him, ready to let him claim me. J'onn presses a kiss to my throat, even the barest press enough to remind me of what exactly it is that he can do.

One of his hands run down my body to press against my bundle of nerves, I arch wildly against the bed as he works me there, low rumbles escaping his chest as he pins both my wrists under one large hand. His thighs force mine further apart and I'm left helpless under his assault on my senses.

He gently slips one large finger inside me, my muscles clench down gratefully, glad to have anything to contract against. J'onn groans in my ear, slowly working a second finger as my breath hitches at the stretch.

His mind is a mess of sensations and focusing on it dizzies me with want, I twist my hips against his fingers, mentally pleading for him to complete this.

J'onn releases my wrists to hold my hips steady before slowly thrusting in in one smooth stroke. My body screams in protest at his size, muscles straining to accommodate his alien girth. He locks my body under his, not giving me room to move as he holds me down, his voice commanding me to relax.

As I keen under him he rubs his hand soothingly along my sides, eyes loosing the dark red shade for the first time since we began. He cups my face in his hands.

 _'Focus on me.'_

 _'Kind of hard not to when you're pulsing inside me.'_

J'onn lets out a laugh, his hand brushing my hair back to press another tender kiss to my forehead just before he moves his hips. The delicious friction and the slow burn make me dig my fingers into his shoulders, throwing my head back on a mewl.

He starts to withdraw and push back into me, slow steady thrusts making me feel the entire length of him as it rubs against me. By the third such thrust my body has adjusted to his and is begging for a harder pace. J'onn must've been listening to my thoughts during this entire time he's been driving me wild, for no sooner has the thought crossed before he slams into me with enough force to knock my breath out.

He picks his pace, keeping his thrusts well paced as I writhe and arch against the bed. My fingers wildly roam his body, dragging my nails down his back. His pace falters with a growl and he pulls my face into the crook of his neck, arms holding me tightly.

After all the torture he bestowed on my neck, I can't resist giving a gentle bite to his conveniently located throat.

J'onn hisses harshly his body going rigid before he pulls back and roughly tilts my head to the left going straight for my neck. In under a minute J'onn has me screaming his name as I climax around him, finally clenching on his hard length in relief.

J'onn freezes over me as he lets out a reverberating groan, releasing into me. He doesn't collapse on me, instead his nearly black eyes focus on me as they fade back to the normal shade of red I'm used to.

Pressing a kiss to my hair he pulls me across his chest, covering me with the blanket. I settle tiredly on him, my body unbelievably sore, feeling like I underwent the workout of a lifetime merely from all the straining under him.

J'onn rubs long soothing strokes along my back till I feel myself falling asleep, surrounded by his tranquil embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

**My dear readers,**

 **Thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed it. This next chapter starts with what I call Martian sex. Its not exactly sex though. Anyone who read the Martian Manhunter comic book with the Saturnian princess Cha'rissa will remember that Martian sex is more of a mind and body meld into one being. Quite literally too. So I figured J'onn would miss what is his norm for intimacy.**  
 **As always let me know what you think. Read and review.**

 **Warning: Not a lemon but there's alien no penetration sex. If that creeps you out or is too mature for you, I suggest skipping this chapter too. Sorry guys.**

 **Disclaimer: No he's not mine. Even if I'm the one who's gotten him laid in years. Sigh.**

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Chapter Seven

The Afterglow

Warm golden light dances behind my eyelids, disturbing the peaceful darkness of my sleep. Grumbling under my breath I turn over to spite the wake up call and my face comes in contact with a naked, green chest. That's when the warmth at my waist registers in my fuzzy half awake mind.

J'onn is fast asleep on his side, facing me with his arm firmly holding me in place. No wonder I haven't deviated much from where I fell asleep. Otherwise I wouldn't be surprised if I were half under the bed.

He makes a soft noise, squeezing my waist to him, his face pressing into my splayed out hair. He's so peaceful and warm. The golden sunlight making his skin glow, defining every plane of his chest and the muscles along his arm draped over me. His chest has become my second favorite part of him, it's like my security blanket. Instantly making me feel safe when I'm held against it. But what I love the most about J'onn will always be his red eyes.

His arm reflexes as he groans, the red eyes I was thinking about, blinking open. The black lining around his eyes make the red stand out as it catches the sunlight and sparkles at me with orange highlights.

"Good morning."

He smiles at me, taking in the scene he's woken up to. I can hear his thoughts rearranging themselves into actual words before he presses his face into my neck, whispering a soft good morning against it.

Shivers break out and J'onn J'onzz laughs! Actually laughs into my neck, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin. His husky laughter does unusual things to my body and I press up against his solid chest, thoroughly enjoying the unresisting push of his muscles on my much softer ones.

My fingers start a journey of their own while my eyes occupy themselves with catching every change in expression on J'onn's face. His impassive face requires much study to pick out any hint of his emotions but after so much time spent staring at his face I've achieved the level of expert in face reading Martians. Also the mental link gives me unfair advantage over any other competitors.

His eyes are still alight, his face carefully neutral while his mind is amused with my thoughts. Ooh he's planning to make this difficult for me now is he? We'll see!

I glide my fingers up his arm, pausing to caress over the bulging curve of his bicep then trace my fingers across his clavicle to the dip at the base of his neck.

His face remains stoic but his eyes! They have lost their light, the red starting to darken.

I trace my fingers down the center of his chest, noting the absence of his nipples along with a random thought about his sensitivity. Pressing my lips to his chest I look up at him in a calculated play of light and angles.

J'onn growls at me, a quiet thought of surprise flying through his head.

As an artist I have excellent knowledge about shadows so when I look up from under my eyelashes, the sunlight behind me throws my eyes into darkness, my eyebrows acting much the same way as his black lining under his brow. The shadows around my eyes complete the imitation of Martian eyes as my brown eyes meet his blackening ones. Brown being a subset color of red is enough to trick his subconscious.

His hand covers my neck gently, "Be careful what you do," his strained voice sends flutters into my stomach. "I might not be able to hold back if you play me like that."

The temptation is far too great and I go in for the kill.

Pulling my hair back into a knot, I look up at J'onn making sure to create the illusion of Martian eyes while running my fingers down his back. Just as he moves his hand to catch my elbow I dart forward and latch onto his throat, teeth dragging along the Martian weak point.

J'onn just about roars, his hands gripping my body tighter than usual to the point of pain. I can feel his hands branding into my waist and shoulder, keeping me in place while his mind dissolves into Martian words.

While his thoughts make no sense to me, I know victory when I see it and this is the beginning taste of victory.

J'onn J'onzz caught unaware, assaulted by both physical and mental sensations while his heart is attacked by familiarity lets out a threatening growl.

Not letting up on him, I trace my tongue along his throat. Gentle swirls followed by a sharp nip of teeth, the points of my nails scratching three short lines into his waist.

A green hand tightly holds the back of my neck, pulling me away from his throat where my teeth have barely marked him. J'onn's eyes look deadly. The red nowhere to be found. His face is no longer impassive, every line on his face screams agonizing want but his mind is requesting something from mine. A question in Martian. While the words make no sense to me, I know there's only one thing he could possibly think of asking me at a moment like this so being the wonderful illusionist I am, I meet his eyes maintaining the low angle and tilt my face to the pillow, neck bared for him.

J'onn flows over me. That's the only word that can describe what he does. His teeth at my neck, his body is wrapped around me, his hands enclosing my back, his legs intertwined with mine. It feels like he's trying to encompass me in himself. The mental feedback of his stimulation results in me being equally stimulated, the press of his skin and his teeth at my neck enough to undo me.

I must've successfully given him enough feedback as well for J'onn floods my mind with a complex emotional release.

Its unlike what I have ever experienced. The closest description coming to mind is transferring all the data from a badly partitioned computer hard drive to an external source and formatting the computer only to copy the transferred data back into the computer but this time in better order and method.

My mind doesn't feel much different after it though. While J'onn has clearly relaxed, lost all the hard lines of tension on his body and is coming down from a different kind of release, my mind is coming down from a regular orgasmic high far too intense for something the result of no physical stimulation.

J'onn untangles himself slowly, momentarily loosing his half human appearance to an angular, elongated and tapered form. Its gone before I can question it.

Then again given his state I can't bring myself to question him. He looks thoroughly debauched for once. His head resting over my heart, arms trembling in their tight circle around my waist. His mind is still working in Martian so I do the only thing I can do to bring him comfort.

My hands gently cup his head and his arm. My fingers tenderly stroke along the back of his head while my hand rubs his arm, squeezing him as hard as possible knowing my strength will not be enough to hurt him.

His body calms in its desperate hold on me and I caress along his sharp cheekbones and square jaw to pull his head back enough to press a kiss to the heavy brow of the alien laying on my chest.

 _'J'onn..'_

His arms squeeze me tightly before releasing me enough to turn onto his back, an arm thrown over his eyes.

' _Come on J'onn. Look at me.'_

I gently tug his arm away from his face, sitting up to shadow over his face for once. Pressing a kiss to his knuckles I wait patiently for him to open his eyes.

I almost wish I hadn't asked him to look at me. Regretful red eyes meet mine, pain laced around the edges.

"J'onn.." my free hand cups his cheek before he can turn away, softly whispering. "What's wrong?"

His hand traces my shoulder, the skin feels tender and I'm pretty sure a bruise is blooming in the shape of his hand.

"I have hurt you when you have given me nothing but pleasure I have not experienced in centuries."

Even his usually honeyed voice is carrying pain, tears spring into my eyes much to J'onn's dismay. Before he can say anything more I press my lips to his half opened mouth, kissing him with desperate relief.

I was so worried I'd opened up some wound in his heart unintentionally when I played him into loosing control that to hear he's only upset because of his uncontrolled strength is the biggest blessing I have ever received.

J'onn rolls me under him, gentling my desperation, swallowing the little cries and whimpers escaping me. His hand carefully cupping the back of my head to angle me better.

"You had me worried J'onn, I thought I had hurt you."

"Unfortunately only I have hurt you."

"J'onn, I barely feel it. And I definitely don't hold you against it. I daresay I might even like it."

I give him a bright smile, letting the sunlight fall down upon my face to eliminate any shadows this time.

J'onn tugs my hair free of it's knot as he pushes himself onto an elbow over me. The fingers of his free hand spread into my hair while his thumb brushes over my eyebrow and temple in slow strokes, his eyes back to their normal red hue.

"Thank you." He presses a kiss to my forehead before he sits up, releasing me from under him.

I sit up after him, wrapping the cover around myself. Tracing his face with my eyes I can see the change in him. He doesn't look as stern as he usually does, the crease over his brow is less pronounced and his shoulders are no longer tensed as if carrying the weight of the world.

He materializes his uniform over himself as he stands. My envious thoughts about how much fashion potential is at his mind's command fills the room with his laughter as I stumble into the bathroom.

Good lord. No wonder J'onn looked upset. I have large bruises in the shape of his hand over both my shoulders when he clutched me and a large hand print at my waist. My neck bearing the red print of his teeth.

After going through my morning routine, J'onn interrupts with an ice pack while I'm looking for my t shirt and shorts, his face an apologetic mask.

"J'onn don't. It's fine really." I reach up to touch his downturned face, he intercepts my hand pressing my palm onto his chest.

"I have no wish to harm you."

"You didn't." I cave at his pointed look. "Ok yes you forgot your own strength but J'onn, I pushed you. I know what you're capable of and I know what I did, so don't."

I press a kiss to his jaw, the only part of him I can reach without his help. I decide to give into him.

"You can press the ice on me J'onn. I definitely can't reach that far behind my shoulders."

He sits me down, the ice pack soothing the bruises as I cuddle up against his side. His arm across my back rubbing slow circles as I contently focus on his thoughts.

Finally they are in English!

His mind is centered, thoughts untangled as they let me roam. He is blissful except for the pain of what he's done lingering at the back of his head. I think back to when he was loosing control, inviting J'onn to hear my thoughts so that I may ease his guilt once and for all.

His hands move the ice pack to my waist, cooling the print there while he goes through my head. My stomach grumbles for breakfast, breaking us out of our thoughts.

"I hate how you don't get hungry as much as me." I whine into his chest.

J'onn laughs as he pulls my head back to press the ice to my throat.

"One day on Mars is 25 Earth hours. My Martian physiology is adapted to eating by those hours."

"Huh. That explains your lifespan too. The orbit is bigger so the year is longer. No wonder you live for a long time according to earth."

"Yes, 687 days for one year."

"Wow. Do you celebrate the new year?"

"When you live as long as I do a new year does not hold much significance. Come." J'onn helps me to my feet and we head to the kitchen.

"What would you like to have for breakfast?" I ask sticking my head into the fridge for ingredients.

"Whatever you wish me to try. I enjoy your cooking."

J'onn reaches over me to store the ice pack back into the freezer and I take the opportunity to hand him a carton of milk, an orange and a packet of blueberries.

"Put them on the counter J'onn, I know I haven't introduced you to meat yet but I feel like it wouldn't agree with you. But lets try egg and see if you like it."

"On Mars we did not have animals for food or otherwise."

"Hmm.. Does that mean you are not biologically equipped to digest animal proteins? Have you tried it before?"

"There are large varieties of food in the watchtower, I have tried a few, so far nothing has adversely affected me."

"That's good enough for me." I give him a smile as I busy myself pulling out bread and bowls.

J'onn watches me as I crack eggs into the bowl. His fingers reaching out to touch the yolk before I smack it way.

"No touching J'onn. Here squeeze the orange juice out."

I hand him the orange and let him handle the rest. J'onn has decent skills in the kitchen proven by the breakfast he made me last time but I doubt he's ever made French toast.

By the time the toast is done, I pull out the whipping cream and stack a plate, spraying the whipping cream on top followed by blue berries. J'onn watches the meal come together with wonder. His green finger poking into the soft cream before I can smack it away.

"J'onn!"

He grins at me as he tastes it. His finger in his mouth, smiling around it like a child. I burst out laughing at him.

"Come here you founding member of the Justice League."

I beckon him to sit down and hold the whipping cream can over his mouth. He opens it expectantly and I spray a mouthful in, laughing at his happy face.

I fix up two cups of English breakfast tea while J'onn happily hums eyeing the whipping cream can.

Breakfast is a delight as J'onn enjoys the sweetness of whipped cream and blue berries with the crunchiness of French toast. Even if he doesn't need as many meals as I do, it doesn't prevent him from eating but I noticed he's reduced the amount he takes in to accommodate for my constant feeding.

I plan to make the most of this day as I clear up breakfast with J'onn. The happy Martian eyes me like he eyed the whipping cream can.

It appears that years of celibacy being broken has resulted in an awakened libido. I guess I had put him on a pedestal. His manner of speaking, his air of control and calmness making him feel miles above me but looking at him now he's suddenly touchable.

After spending hours tangled with him, being consumed by his passions, his emotions and watching him let go, he now feels reachable.

J'onn suddenly pulls me onto his lap as he sits on the sofa. His face stern as he follows my thoughts.

 _'I am never far from your reach little one.'_

He wills away his cape, boots and the red cross and places my palm on his chest letting me feel his heart beat.

' _There are no boundaries between us. Ask.'_

I meet his eyes, knowing exactly what I want from him. I want to be under him, consumed by the flames of passion, lost in dark red eyes forcing my submission to his desire.

There is something liberating in being taken by him. The submission he demands doesn't degrade me or make me feel any less. If anything it makes me feel more, empowering my femininity as he fullfills my cravings, pushing my limits of pleasure as he gauges exactly how much I can take.

I know for certain that I would never trust any male to have his way with me the way I trust J'onn. Previous experiences make themselves known in my mind as I remember the last time I was with my ex boyfriend and how terribly wrong it went.

"J'onn.. Take me."


	8. Chapter 8

**My lovely reader!**

 **This is a lemon! I'm trying to isolate the lemons as much as possible so that you can skip them if you dislike alien intimacy. This unfortunately results in short chapters which I hope you don't mind.**

 **And before I forget, thank you for the faves, follows and reviews. But I do wish for more feedback from my readers. Even a simple "it sucks" or "its nice" will do.**

 **Warning: long, hard, rough lemon.**

 **Disclaimer: No, J'onn isn't mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eight

The Indulgence

J'onn carries me like an 18th century princess, his arms around my back and under my knees, my weight insubstantial to him.

I had expected him to ravage me on the sofa but he surprises me by carrying me off to my bed. He draws the curtains and plunges the room into partial darkness before climbing over me. His eyes maintaining their red color.

His touch is feather light as it traces down the side of my jaw, only hinting at the pressure. His free hand brushes my hair away from my face fingers tangling in the strands.

I gently run my hands up his arms, circling over his shoulders up to his neck. My fingers spread over the back of his head, gliding over to his brow and tracing a finger around the black lining of his eyes. He closes them as I move my fingers down the edge of his face to the corner of his jaw, pressing my lips to the corner of his mouth.

The Martian is taking things very slow. His hands barely pressing as they work down my body, ghosting over my chest and stomach. His waist pushes my thighs apart as he bend over to mark a path from my ear to my throat. Low rumbles escaping his chest as he helps me out of my t shirt.

J'onn gives my waist a gentle squeeze, making sure to avoid the bruise as he works my pants off of me. His long fingers wrap around my ankles pulling them over his shoulders, his other hand tilting my chin up to meet his eyes.

"Keep your eyes on me little one."

The red color of his eyes are barely darkened, his entire being under complete control. He imprisons a nipple in his mouth, eyes locked on mine, the warm wetness drawing a moan from me. He nips at its twin bud, his teeth creating a sharp spike of pain and pleasure to shoot up my spine, arching me to him.

J'onn captures my mouth in his, tongue wrapping around mine as his taste consumes me. His fingers slowly tease at my bundle of nerves till I'm writhing against him begging for release.

His eyes darken around the edges as he brings me close to my peak. Running my fingers up his thighs I grip his solid length in my hand. J'onn buries his face in my throat with a groan at my firm grasp. Deciding to give him a taste of earth intimacy I twist him onto his back, holding his hands down.

His eyes widen at my sudden move and the images I'm projecting into his mind. His hands fist the sheets as I tease my way down his body to the throbbing length of him.

Its the first proper look I take of what was inside me last night. J'onn is indeed huge! The hard density of his muscles translating into this aspect of him, make him rock hard as I squeeze. Deciding to torture my Martian, I run my tongue up his length keeping my eyes on his.

J'onn audibly chokes on his breath, bracing himself on his elbows to take in the visual of me between his thighs playing with the most sensitive part of him. I gaze back into his eyes as I deliberately wrap my lips at his tapered tip, so unlike a human males.

A low primal cry fills the air as J'onn struggles under my assault, his hips thrusting into my mouth before I can force them down.

"Look at me J'onn." I coax his eyes open as he struggles, wanting to see the effect I have on him.

Black eyes meet mine, one if his hands gripping the back of my head as I stare up at him and take him down. Each stroke of my tongue along his length results in his fist tightening in my hair, each hum cause him to arch against the bed, body pulled taut. Each suction on his length makes J'onn release rich, agonized growls.

Just watching him strain and struggle under me is empowering. By the time J'onn has had enough of my teasing I am wet, aching and ready for him.

He twists me under him to lay on my stomach, his hand gripping both of mine, stretching me out under him till I can't move. His thighs aggressively force mine apart as sheaths himself in me in one powerful thrust.

My body struggles under his unyielding grip as J'onn looses himself, harsh pants from him and soft pitched whimpers from me filling the room as J'onn claims me with strong thrusts. His arm curls under my stomach pulling me back against his hips as the hand locking both of mine hold me away from his hips. It results in me having absolutely no room nor leverage to aid his thrusts or prevent them. He body forces me to accept the harsh pace, not a single change in his tempo as he encourages the whimpers, sobs and moans leaving my mouth.

My body protests under the rough male strength, needing direct stimulation which J'onn seems intent on not providing. He kneels back and pulls me snug against his elevated hips, the angle changing the places he presses inside me.

An embarrassing mewl escapes my throat, I struggle violently against his tight hold on my wrists, my body too close but not close enough.

J'onn releases my hips, his free hand gripping my locked hands to fold them behind my back. He pins my wrists together in one hand, the other coming around to circle the front of my neck and heaves my body up against his.

My voice relents under all the sensations, no longer able to utter a single sound as my body tightens in release as he bends over me to nip and lave at the sides of my throat.

J'onn doesn't slow his thrusts even as I twist in his hold from over stimulation. He continues to pump the pulsing steel length of him into me, my mind dissolving into white hot pleasure, tears escaping the corners of my eyes.

He marks me at the base of my throat. Teeth nearly breaking skin. The unfaltering pace of his hips force pitiful whimpers from me as J'onn releases my wrists and presses my upper body onto the bed, his now free hand fisting itself in my hair.

He seems intent on ruining me for other men, his fingers playing at my pleasure center coupled with his speeding thrusts pull another climax from me.

"Oh, god, J'onn... No more!"

"I know what you can take."

His roughened voice cuts through my thoughts as I realize that J'onn is not done with me.

He releases a threatening growl in my ear, his fingers tugging and pinching my nipples alternatively in sync with his thrusts. Surrendering to the storm that is J'onn J'onzz, I sob into the pillow, body over heated, raw and bursting with electricity.

J'onn proves how well he knows exactly what I can take by projecting his arousal in me mind. My orgasm catches me by surprise as I scream out his name, contractions rippling through my entire body.

My marathon sex runner finally yields to his own pleasure flooding me with his warm essence and collapsing down over my body, pulling me firmly his arms.

Long fingers massage my trembling thighs, soothing the edges of my sensitivity. Soft Martian words whisper into my ear, their tone intended to ease and assure safety.

Too tired to move and far too tired to think, I let his cajoling words pull me into sleep. His tender kiss to the back of my neck the last lucid memory.


	9. Chapter 9

**Dear Readers,**

 **First of all I would like to thank my reviewer J'Marcus. You re** **minded me why I started writing this story in the first place. And yes, like you I too wrote it to escape reality, thereby I have decided to continue this story as an escape without letting the harshness of reality slip in.**

 **Now then, to all the people who PMed me with similar requests, here you all go. This story is back in progress with more romance and no angst.**

 **As an apology and a gift for all your constructive criticism and J'Marcus' wake** **up call, here is a lemony, long fluffy chapter! Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: J'onn isn't mine. Yet.**

 **Warning: Long, long lemon. Toe numbing lemon. You have been warned!**

Chapter Nine

The Parting

I find myself waking up wrapped tight in strong green arms. My place in them too comfortable to crawl out of, so I let my mind shut off into sleep.

There's a finality in today. I've had the best weekend I could've ever dreamt of but by tomorrow its back to the usual routine of no J'onn J'onzz.

Tracing worshipful fingers over his arms, I try to hold onto this memory, to this moment of peace with him sheltering me. My white knuckled grip causes J'onn to stir. His body curling firmly around mine.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

J'onn turns me in his arms, taking in my melancholic face before venturing carefully into my mind.

I know he'll find nothing, my mind having already processed and rationalized what's expected for tomorrow when he leaves. I know I'm acting as if he'll be gone forever but the truth is, after the scare with J'onn getting hurt I'm reluctant to have him leave me.

He doesn't say anything as he rubs his hands along my arms, his face lost in thought. Abruptly he sits up, pulling me up with him as he encourages me to climb off bed.

"Come, you need to eat. When night falls we are going out."

"We are? Where?"

"Let it be a surprise."

He kisses my temple and I head for a shower before preparing a late lunch. J'onn occupies the shower in that time, allowing me to surprise him with Pasta and Sautéed vegetables. He looks expectantly at me while I serve him expecting something sweet.

"No J'onn, I don't know if diabetes is a possibility with your biology but I'm not taking chances."

"I can change my physiology to accommodate any diet little one, you need not worry."

I give him a narrow eyed once over before sticking my tongue out at him. J'onn gives me a smirk noting my playfulness. Throughout our lunch/dinner combo I keep an eye out on the sky, waiting for the dark sky to become darker. I barely notice my food as I finish eating, J'onn having eaten just as quickly seems to have enjoyed the sugarless meal contrary to his initial reaction.

He pulls me away from the dishes once we've stacked them in the sink, arm falling around my waist as he leads me out the door.

"Hold onto me."

His arm tightens over my waist, holding me firmly to his side. I throw my arms around his shoulders just as he lifts off the ground.

"J'onn!"

The Martian smiles at me, as he flies us up into the sky. The cool, refreshing night air hits my face as we lift into the night. The stars get bigger and brighter as we keep flying, shielding me with his cape as we gain altitude, the temperature dropping the further we fly.

"Watch the sky."

He comes to a standstill as he says this, I look around at the sky around us. Millions of stars surround us, some twinkling brightly while others blink at us. The Evening Star stands out in the sky shining close to the moon.

' _Look straight across Venus at the red colored star.'_

 _'Is that Mars?'_

 _'It is, now watch closely.'_

I stare at the red planet from which this red eyed alien comes. The color red playing a huge role in my life by now. As I watch the red planet, it is suddenly surrounded by white and purple streaks around it.

' _J'onn?'_

 _'A meteor shower. Every Martian year there are meteor showers. One of those will go by earth in a few minutes.'_

 _'There's a tradition on Earth, we make a wish on the falling star. We could do that.'_

 _'Then keep an eye on the meteors, any minute one of them will travel across our sky.'_

J'onn picks me up into his arms like a bride, allowing me to drop my tense hold on his shoulders. He floats in midair, completely at ease as we wait for a shooting star. This is unique position I'm finding myself in so I do what every human female does when she's with a loved one in a beautiful place.

I press my lips to his, pouring every sentiment I wish to convey into that one kiss. J'onn swallows all the soft sounds that escape me as he pulls me tighter into him.

The kiss changes the mood around us, making it more intimate just as J'onn directs me to the falling star. Like he said, it sails across our sky, a safe distance away from Earth, in a brilliant display of white, purple and blue.

 _'J'onn, make a wish.'_

I close my eyes, wishing for these moments with J'onn to never end. For him to always be there in my life.

We watch as the shooting star cuts its own path, headed to places unknown in the universe. I turn to him as it exits our range of view.

' _That was beautiful.'_

He gives me a smile, wraps his cape around me and he flies us back down. The peace found in the sky is disturbed by the glaring lights of buildings, streetlamps and vehicles. Maybe we should go camping sometime. J'onn can enjoy the fresh air, silent minds and open sky without having to fly up.

He sets me down on my feet and I unlock the door, both of us headed for the kitchen. J'onn must've noted how the dry air in the sky parched my throat for he hands me a glass of water just as I am about to do the dishes. We clean up quickly and I change my night dress while he simply dematerializes his uniform into shorts.

I climb into bed, snuggling into his side. He presses a soft kiss to my temple, combing his fingers through my hair.

"Tomorrow your family returns."

I hmm an yes, wrapping my arm across his waist, my leg twining around his large thigh.

"We should probably make the most out of tonight don't you think?"

He chuckles darkly at me and props himself over me, his free hand caressing my thigh slowly hiking up my night dress as he goes.

"An interesting proposition little one." his hand slips between my thighs, large fingers cupping my heat. Arousal instantly floods me as his dulcet tones surround me.

J'onn knows what I like and he knows exactly how to overwhelm me when the fancy strikes him. Blunt, nimble fingers gently penetrate me, my body arching up against his broad chest. His mouth nipping at my parted lips, sucking till they are red and swollen make a path down to his favorite spot. My vulnerable, sensitive throat.

His teeth wreck havoc at my weak spot which, combined with his fingers teasing my entrance pull whimpers out of me. J'onn is thoroughly enjoying himself. His red eyes imprisoning mine as he smirks ferrally at my pleasure contorted face. That smirk should be banned, it does unspeakable things to my insides when the usually impassive face becomes rakish and debonair. My Martian knows all this and he growls against my throat, his thumb slowly driving me over the edge.

My thighs clamp tight around his hand and in a demonstration of male aggressiveness, he forces them apart by wedging his own thigh between mine.

"J'onn!"

I turn my face into his neck, voicing my climax against his throat. He gently eases is finger out of my body and pulls me astride his waist giving me time to recover while laying on his chest.

I love his chest. The sheer difference in size intrigues me beyond reason so while J'onn brings me down from my high, I trace my fingers along his chest. I sit up to see him spread out beneath me, his arousal settling comfortably against my rear.

Pressing wet kisses onto his chest I give an experimental suck on where a human male would have nipples. Hmm no electrified reaction so he's not sensitive there.

I drag my nails down his sides to his waist, remembering the reaction I got from him last time, I give him three sharp scratches. That gets a reaction out of him. J'onn tenses his body, preventing him from arching as I grip his elbow and kiss up his chest to his neck.

Whatever Martian physiology is responsible for the sensitivity of his neck has my immense gratitude. No wonder his uniform collar is so high.

J'onn groans as I kiss up his throat. A teasing flick of my tongue causing him to turn his head away. The full expanse of his throat is open for me to explore! I run my dominant right hand up his arm, over his shoulder and grip his face, keeping it turned away firmly. J'onn startles at my aggression and before he can read what I'm up to, I bite down hard on his neck.

A panty wetting growl erupts from somewhere deep in his chest. Large, green hands grip my head as I suck at the mark I'm creating. I force his head to stay turned away knowing full well that he's too distracted to fight. My left hand creeps down behind me and I sink onto the length of him in one smooth move tightening around him.

J'onn stills. His widened red eyes shutting tight, body held taut before letting out an inhuman snarl.

It all happens rapidly. One moment murderous darkened eyes are looking up at me and the next I am looking up at murderous darkened eyes. Somehow, far to quickly for my mind to register, J'onn has pinned me beneath him. The length of him sheathed to the hilt inside me pulsing with his release, his mind dissolved into Martian ramblings.

I am in for it. I can see it from the uneasing tension in his shoulders, his body not relaxing even though he's just reached a peak. Now I know what prey feels like when faced with a predator. Terrified.

My eyes zero in on the dark green mark I left at his throat, the healing not having kicked in yet. The Martian Manhunter has me splayed open around his hips, deep rumbles vibrating the air between us. He fists a hand in my hair and tugs it back to expose my neck, his hips pulling away from mine. I can feel the burn in my muscles at the angle J'onn has be arched to. His seed escaping out of me and down the inside of my thigh bring a blush to my face.

I want to fight him. I want to give him the ride of his life. Have him climaxing till he's boneless and incapable of moving. He must've read it off my mind for no sooner has my thoughts come together that J'onn goes for my throat. His tongue swirls harsh patterns that serve to heighten my sensitivity as he grazes his teeth on my skin. His free hand firmly kneading my breasts while his knees force my thighs out onto the bed, his length dipping into me only to pull out before I can clench around it.

I struggle in frustration, wanting him buried in me. He's not obliging me in anyway. His mouth leaves my throat, hand releasing my hair to tease at my center. A nipple is caught between his teeth as he gives it a sharp bite. The keening cry from my lips draws out a sharp growl from him, he repeats the action on the other before plundering my mouth in a harsh kiss.

I suddenly remember that my hands are free and before he can trap them I rake my nails up the insides of his thighs. He plunges into me, finally I can get some relief! But the beautiful, green alien has other plans. Pulling me up he forces my body to arch against his, one hand pinning both of mine behind my back along with my hair.

In one hand J'onn holds full control of my entire upper body. I can neither move my hands nor my head, he laves his marks on my throat, sucking at the painfully sensitive points till I writhe in his hold. Seeing as the only move I can make is with my hips, I roughly twist them against his. He quickly remedies my freedom by taking a firm hold of my ass.

Black eyes stare into mine just as his hand makes sharp contact with my rear. J'onn spanked me! Wetness flows out of me at the sheer thought. I have to see this. I have to see myself held like this and marked in every imaginable way.

Even in his wildly aroused state J'onn is keeping a tab on my mind. He picks me up and moves to my dressing table, bending me in front of it and delivering another slap to my ass.

I look beautifully wrecked. There in the mirror is swollen lipped creature, bruises along her throat, breasts and hips. Her hair twisted into a firm hold around a green hand effortlessly holding her wrists in place.

But if I look wrecked then J'onn looks menacing. His usually calm red eyes are black, glinting in the low light, his impassive mouth open for his harsh breaths and his impressive physique projecting his strength behind me. The expansive green chest and trim waist shadowing over my back, he reminds me of my earlier desire to ruin him till he's unable to walk.

"You wil be the one unable to walk little one." his baritone voice promises darkly, his hand giving me a firm spank.

My body screams for him to impale me, having nothing to find relief on. His eyes meet mine in the mirror, both of us watching the expressions flickering across the others face, feeding off of the arousing image we make together.

J'onn pulls my body upright, his hand releasing my wrists and hair to circle around my throat, using merely his thumb to turn my face to his in the mirror. He deliberately runs his tongue along the protruding tendon of my neck, eyes promising darkness.

"You're mine little one."

J'onn thrusts into me, just as I fear collapsing from his possessive rumble. My hands cling onto his arms, unable to ground myself as J'onn tweaks a nipple with his free hand, said hand branding my body with his touch. It squeezes my waist, circles around my bundle of nerves, kneads my thigh and finally settles on my hip, pulling my hips to meet his rapid thrusts.

Keening his name, my knees give out as I climax, tears rolling down my face. J'onn tightens his hold, his mouth sucking another mark onto my throat as I scream out another climax my eyes trapped by his blackened ones in the mirror. I barely feel his release until I notice the wetness flowing down my thighs.

J'onn presses his lips to the back of my head, his hands soothing away the tremors running up and down my body. My thighs are locked in place and I stumble as I try to take a step out of his hold. He scoops me into his arms and walks into the bathroom, sets me on the sink and turns the taps to fill the tub with warm water.

My soft whimper pulls him back to me, his lips pressing a kiss to my forehead, green fingers brushing away the tears on my face. My body is trembling and I can't feel my toes, Martian words whisper in my head as he guides my head to rest on his shoulder. He grounds me with his touch, his scent and his low voice, arms wrapped securely around me.

J'onn picks me up and settles us both into the tub, his large body wrapped around mine as he turns off the taps and helps the heat seep into my numbed body. Long fingers massage the tremors out of my thighs, working up my body to wash away the sex induced sweat.

My head falls back onto his shoulder, face hidden against his throat. J'onn fills my mind with what appears to be a Martian song. The soft rhythm eases me into sleep, half aware that I'm letting J'onn shoulder responsibility for tonight.

"Do not fear, I have you. Sleep little one."

* * *

 **As ever, read and review. Also let me know if I should take down the previous version of this chapter. PM if review is not your thing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**My lovely readers!**

 **I'm seeing a lot of activity on this story but no reviews! Leave me feedback people.**

* * *

Chapter Ten

A loving brush of fingers against my face pulls me out of restful sleep. Warm sunlight and an even warmer Martian greet my sleepy eyes. J'onn graces me with a soft kiss to my forehead.

"How are you feeling?"

That is a very good question. My body is beyond sore, the ghost of his touch still marking my body in places he's not even touching. In other words I'm sore and sated.

"Splendidly satiated J'onn."

J'onn sits back as I stretch out on the bed, my joints popping as I regain full functionality of my body.

"Come, you need to be fed."

"Hmmmm? You made breakfast?"

"After last night it's the least I could do." He has that guilty look on his face.

"J'onn.. You know I have absolutely no protest to any mark you leave on me when we tumble in bed right? Please don't feel guilty again."

He silently picks me up to carry me to the kitchen with the covers wrapped around me. I read his mind along the way, understanding exactly what he is feeling.

It is a pride mixed guilt, his male ego stroked at having given me mind numbing pleasure is tampered down with concern for my wellbeing.

When I compare myself with him, I can see his reasoning. All the marks I left on him have already faded away while his marks have just reached their full bloom across my skin.

I wrap my arms around his neck giving him a tight hug.

"J'onn, there's nothing to feel guilty over. You know how I feel."

"You test my control little one, I might hurt you without intending to."

"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it."

J'onn folds himself onto the sofa keeping my on his lap. A spread of pop tarts, bread, cheese and tea arranged on the low table in front of us.

"I relish every moment I spend with you." he quietly confirms.

"But? I sense a but somewhere in there."

A wistful smile breaks out on his face. "But I fear harming you."

"J'onn, I don't trust anyone the way I trust you both with my heart and my body. You know I love each touch during and after the heat of the moment so don't worry. If ever you're causing me pain I'll be sure to scream it at you loud enough to snap you out of your lust blackened eyes."

I hold up a pop tart to him another already making its way into my mouth.

"Eat J'onn."

He presses another loving kiss to temple before taking up the offered tart. We finish breakfast together, both of us basking in each others presence knowing he'll have to leave in a few hours.

"I should probably get dressed." I idly think out loud, tracing absurd patterns on his arm.

"Hmm yes."

"Bed covers make excellent clothes."

J'onn chuckles as he sets me on my feet. "Go, I will clear this up."

I press a kiss to his angular cheek, leaving him to the task. By the time I emerge freshened up in a turtleneck and shorts, J'onn has cleaned away breakfast, sporting his superhero costume.

"You need to go don't you?"

"Yes."

Wrapping my arms around his neck I tug him down to press a kiss to his mouth. His arms encircle my back, rubbing up the full length of my back in one warm, affectionate sweep.

After all the wild passion last night, his kiss right now is worshipful. Gentle suction and mellow brushes of tongue. His hands cup my face, easing me back from him to bestow a protective kiss to my forehead.

"We will be in touch but I may be returning to a mountain of duties, forgive me if I am unable to respond to you."

"I know J'onn, be safe."

His warm hand caresses my cheek slowly before he drops his hand and is teleported away.

The house is quieter without him. Almost as if sound has been vacuumed away. I open the windows and let the fresh air breeze across the rooms, my life suddenly brighter than the last time I remember it. Our beautiful weekend together having banished all shadows in my head for the time being. I plop onto my bed with my college books, J'onn's scent surrounding me as I study.

An hour later my sisters and my mother make their return known and lunch is quickly prepared. Thank god for turtle necks or else I'd have some heavy explaining to do. My sisters recount their weekend to me, explaining in great detail all the things they did. By the time they are done I head off for lectures.

Brushing into J'onn's mind, I find him tackling a large number of monitors while giving orders to his teammates, doesn't seem to be good time to distract him. My two best friends give me knowing looks the minute I reach them.

"Did you get laid?"

"Huh?!"

Shen and Anji have been with me for years, somewhere along those years they fell in love so now my best friends are always together should I need them. It does make it difficult to spill secrets when they both wear smug smirks with an "I know what you've been up to" confidence.

I glare at them followed by sticking my tongue out at them. Shen bursts into a guffaw, my shoulder receiving a congratulatory pat.

"Had a good time then. Atta girl."

"Dude... You're weird."

Anji pulls my elbow, taking me away from Shen. "Girl talk love, see ya."

"Hey! Babe come on!"

We giggle at his whining face as he huffs behind us, giving us a few feet's privacy to chatter about love lives. Shen has a fixed rule: never tell me about how big the guy was, I don't wanna imagine you taking it. This naturally results in me giving him an earful with Anji merely to fluster him.

"So tell me, who is he, how'd you meet, is he from campus?"

"Well its a bit complicated, we met by accident, ended up talking for a few weeks. Eventually one thing led to another and here we are."

"You look happy, this is serious?" Anji has always been good at reading my expressions.

"Yep!"

"What's he like?"

"No dick details!" Shen screams from behind us.

We burst out laughing, pulling him to join us.

"He's calm."

"That's all?"

"Yeah. I mean calmness personified would be him."

"Details woman! Jesus!" Anji is seconded by her boyfriend. "Yeah come on, you're making him sound monochromatic!"

"Okay okay jeez!" These guys are persistent. "He's tall, built like a barn, polite, protective, respectful and very considerate."

I'm met with cricket chirping silence, my best friends having paused in the middle of doorway to class.

"This guy our age?"

"Umm.. Not really... He's a bit older." there's no way I can tell them how old J'onn really is. They'll flip worse than pancakes.

"Sweetie you sure about this?" Anji isn't alone in her concern, Shen looks worriedly at me.

"Yeah, you're my best friend, I don't want you getting hurt. If I can't beat him up then I can't keep you safe."

"Guys I'm sure." I give them my best winning smile.

"I'll admit I haven't seen you this happy before but love that also means it will hurt you just as bad if it goes south."

"I know Anji but I feel this will work out."

I bless every spirit I know as our lecturer walks into class just before Shen can come up with a retort for my reply.

They mean well. Almost all happy couples tend to adopt their single friends as the couple baby, making sure to fix the baby up with a good partner, keep the baby safe and protected from heartache. In my case Shen and Anji have made me their baby. It is heartwarming when I don't have to hide details about my love interest but J'onn is not someone I can tell everyone about.

Mid way through the continuous drone of my professor's reaction mechanism for organic chemical reactions, J'onn fills me head with his black velvet voice.

 _'A mission has come up, I will contact you when it is over. Be safe.'_

 _'Be careful.'_

"Hey, you okay?" Shen's foot prodding my shin snaps me out of my mind.

I give him a nod, his skeptical face doesn't relax even as he refrains from further questioning. Thankfully my friends don't pounce on me even after the days lectures are over, choosing instead to question me further about what my mystery boyfriend is like, when they can meet him and when I plan to hand him over for threatening.

Anji drags us both to McDonalds, wanting a celebration. By the time I get home, I'm dead tired and sleepy. My body still not recovered from J'onn's enthusiasm, demands hours of rest.

Dad has returned home.

That is the first thing I notice when I step through the door. The house is silent, sisters quietly minding their own business, mom watching tv and ignoring her surroundings which means dad is asleep.

My sisters creep into my room once I'm dressed for bed, each bringing with them their current interests. The youngest has dragged along a coloring book, asking me to teach her proper shading, the older one has her tablet open on her school project. Looks like sleep will have to wait.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you all for the follows and faves. If you have feedback or complaints don't be shy.**

 **Disclaimer: he's not mine.**

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Chapter Eleven

Flames

Its been two whole days since J'onn went on his mission, during this time I have been most productive with my days, having them peppered throughout with small doses of concern. I have constantly felt gentle brushes of thought from him but it was never a word, just a feel of my mind.

It's odd. J'onn would speak to me if he could brush my mind for feelings wouldn't he? Perhaps he's not conscious of his minds actions while he's distracted. Still odd given how disciplined he his. His self control has been impeccable, hardly ever venturing into unnecessary thought. While my human mind is constantly distracted with random thoughts throughout the day, J'onn has a fixed path of thoughts. If he's working, his mind is focused purely on his work. If he's with me, joined together or otherwise, his thoughts are focused only on the moment.

Maybe he's hurt...

That would explain his deviating behavior. Perhaps I am over thinking, but if J'onn is indeed hurt, there's not much I can do for him. I definitely do not want a repeat of the last time when he was stern with me. Oh... That must be the reason. I did tell him that the only reason I disobeyed him was out of worry.

My heart swells with warmth at his thoughtfulness even if he is too busy to talk to me. As far as I have noticed just about all his missions seem to last a maximum of two days. The league is pretty powerful to handle planet threatening events in merely 48 hours, makes me grateful we're so well protected.

I wander out into the kitchen, looking at all the ingredients available to make dinner. Since the entire family is home, I'll have to make a proper meal. My sisters are busy in their own little world of coloring books and schoolwork while my parents are glaring at each other from across the couch. The same couch where J'onn and I spent our time, getting him patched up as well as cuddling together with breakfast. Such a contrast to see two former lovers glaring daggers at each other while the current ones were so tender together. Sigh.

What to make for dinner? Perhaps spaghetti. It is well loved by all.

I pull out tomatoes, sauces, garlic, meatballs, cilantro and a packet of spaghetti. The knife suddenly catches my eye. It feels like ages since I last used one against myself. Cutting into a bright red tomato, it spills juices. So similar to how my wrists would spill blood. All the tomatoes meet a violent fate at my hands as I sadistically twist my knife in them. I feel unbalanced..

Filling a saucepan full of water I turn on the stove, placing it on to let the water boil. In the meantime I'm craving a good solid drink. Alcohol. I'm craving alcohol.

Rummaging in the pantry cupboards I pull out the opened bottle of brandy which is often used in meals. Its never really drunk, just used to flavor food. A healthy glass of it later my mind is fuzzy, its been years since I last drank so much so suddenly.

It feels like my actions are not my own anymore. I reach out to pick the spaghetti packet but I touch the brandy bottle instead. The fuzziness increases as another swig travels down my throat almost against my will.

Flames. Bright, burning hot flames. They lick at my body, I flinch away from the pain. What is going on?

The entire kitchen is surrounded by fire. The air is suffocating, smoke and fumes forcing my lungs to cough. There's screaming from beyond. I need to find a way out!

Everything is disoriented and hazy. Heat. Mind numbing heat. Need water. The bathtub! Crashing into the bathroom, it is also surrounded by flames. Why is there so much fire? And where are my sisters? Why am I still in here?

J'onn!

Need to get out. The door! Too late.

The ceiling collapses onto the doorway, I'm trapped in the bathroom surrounded by flames. Water! The taps too hot to touch. I fold my shirt over the taps and open them all till water flows around me from every available faucet. At least it'll keep the flames away from me for a bit. Not immediately about to be burnt I look around for an escape of any sort. The bathroom window is too small for me to climb out of, the door I stumbled through is buried under dancing orange flames and the tiles around me are not even cracker. I'm trapped. Quite effectively trapped.

This is the time for a superhero's job. I need to be saved. Oh lord my sisters! The screams are no longer to be heard. Did they make it out? Is there a way out? How on earth did a fire start in the first place?! Wasn't I the one in the kitchen?

' _J'onn! I need help'_

If I open the bathroom window, the sudden air flow will fan the flames, if I don't do anything the oxygen will be depleted and I'll pass out, already the fumes are irritating my lungs to point where I can't stop coughing. My only option is to curl up near the bathtub in running water so that even if the ceiling collapses, I'll be somewhat spared damage when the tub takes the brunt force.  
My mind screams for J'onn. Heat and smoke consume the air around me while orange flames mock my escape. J'onn's voice echoes in my head but I can't make out what he's saying. Try as I might to reply or to even focus in him, my darkening vision lulls me away, suddenly feeling far too calm for the situation I'm in.

Soft beeping echoes around me, the noise penetrating the my sleep. A sleep which doesn't feel restful.

I am greeted with the sight of my beloved alien staring down in concern at my face. Behind him are various other members of the Justice League. Yep the Justice League. Pretty easy to spot them. This must be their medical bay. The view of the sky is enough to tell me that I am no longer on earth. It is the same sky I remember seeing when I stumbled into J'onn's mind that very first night.

What happened... The faces around me are focused on J'onn more than me, and J'onn himself is not just concerned. His eyes have confusion, anger and pain.

"What happened?"

My voice sounds like I've swallowed gravel. A regal hand places a glass of water in the Martian's who in turn eases me up to drink. Its then that I notice the bed I'm laying on. Its like a capsule you see in films where astronauts are put in stasis for their 20 year long journey lest the film directors have to shoot a 60 plus actor who is not attractive to the audience anymore.

I've got electrodes attached to my chest, bandages wrapped around my arms and legs and my head feels odd. J'onn captures my hand as I try to smooth back my hair.

"We were hoping you could tell us what happened."

His voice sounds different, there's a certain lack of warmth. Coldness settles into my belly, a dire sense of foreboding surrounding me as I stare at each of these superheroes. None of them look friendly. The princess wearing an icy blue stare, matched equally by Superman's stern jaw. Batman doesn't look any different from what the media portrays, which is basically scary by default.

"I don't exactly know J'onn, I was in the kitchen, making dinner..."

His hand drops mine as plead with my eyes. I know something happened with the flames but what?

"I had a sudden urge to drink, then I couldn't control myself anymore and the next thing I know I'm surrounded by flames. I made it to the bathroom and turned on the taps to fight off the heat."

J'onn doesn't look like his heart carries any sympathy for me right now. If anything he looks hurt and confused. I'm too confused to care. What caused the fire? I couldn't have been drunk enough to set the house on fire. There's simply no way. The house..my sisters!

"J'onn! Where are my sisters?!"

The silence is enough answer. The sudden turning on of an overhead television draws everyone's attention to Batman as he stares at me. The news channel shows my house, burnt to crumbled ashes. The flashing caption under the video feed is enough to shut my mind.

' **The sole survivor of this sudden domestic fire has been taken up by the justice league'**

 _Sole survivor_.

Sole survivor. My mind reaches out to touch the Martian's but he does what I never expected him to do. He blocks my thoughts. Alone. Completely alone. None of these superheroes are yielding. All the pieces click in my head. The sole survivor is me, I just confessed that I was cooking and had gotten drunk. It doesn't take batman to make such an easy deduction.

 _I set the house on fire._

The look on the face of these superheroes confirms my conclusion. They too have come to the same end.

"What's to become of me now?"

I can barely believe it, what was I thinking to set fire to my house? With my sisters in it?! Sure I'm suicidal and I've entertained plenty of thoughts of killing myself but only once have I ever thought about killing my family to spare them each other, it was a very short-lived thought. So why now? It isn't like me to do something that stupid.

"You will remain here for the safety of those around you till we determine what to do."

Superman's answer is directed more towards J'onn than it is towards me. The Martian nods sideways, acknowledging the Kryptonian and gets up to leave.

 _'J'onn_!'

Angry red eyes meet mine before they turn away, blocking me from his thoughts. Tears spring to my eyes, the full weight of what I have done, what I have lost and what awaits me, land heavily onto me. My mind goes into a lock down, I can feel the building blocks falling into place, creating a barrier around my thoughts. I don't even know how I am doing it but I can feel the strength of this wall. Its unlike any wall I've ever put up around me.

Tears, pain, loss, anger and hatred, they all get slammed into a thick vault in my mind. My features settle into an unimpressed, impassive neutral. Every little thought that flies by of my sisters get caught in a mental net and dragged away into a secure dungeon, never to escape again. Its a defense mechanism. A part of me realizes what I'm doing and how unhealthy it is, the rest of me tell this part to shut up.

By the time I look up to meet the cold eyes of the remaining league members, my eyes are far colder than theirs could ever hope to be. I take a sick pleasure in seeing the shock cross over on both Superman and Diana's faces, neither expecting my reaction. My emotionless voice ringing out around the sick bay.

"Where do you plan to keep me?"

In the silence that falls, Batman steps up to answer.

"My room."

I remove the little round electrodes from my chest, swing my legs over the side of the bed and stand up. Pain shoots through my limbs, pulling my attention to my bandages, feels like second degree burns. I give Batman a rivaling glare. My sisters always said I could glare the sun into darkness. Angry at the thought my voice roughly commands the scariest founding member.

"Let's go."


	12. Chapter 12

**Reviews are my motivation. Thank you new followers, glad to see people enjoying the story.**

 **Disclaimer: nope still don't own him.**

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Chapter Twelve

Broken

I can't figure out whether they expect me to remain in this room or to use it at my convenience. The door is not locked, there's no one stopping me from leaving but I get the distinct impression that, should I try to leave, I will be stopped. Neither a prisoner nor a free soul. The room in and of itself is not bad. Its impersonal and cold, no decorations of any sort, merely the bed, drawers and lamp on a desk. Sparse to say the least.

After Batman had shown me in, I had examined every corner of the room and found cameras at the corners of the walls. Clearly Mr. Dark and Broody plans to keep me under surveillance. Ha. As if I can set fire to metal walls, I'd have to find the fuel core and ignite it for this space station to catch fire.

Why fire? I have never been fond of burning things. I've always prefered knives. This is so unlike me.

Why would I burn down my house? After all the beautiful memories I made with J'onn under that very roof, why would I turn it to ashes?

J'onn. Its easy to see how he's feeling. Even if he's blocked me out of his mind, I know enough about to him to understand his reaction. Being a peaceful, family loving creature, he must be repulsed by my actions, confused as to how to love someone who is in the end villainously cruel. But I'm not, am I?

I don't even know myself anymore! Try as hard as I might I can't remember what made me drink or what happened after I drank. I don't remember setting fire to anything, nor do I recall feeling depressed enough to entertain such a thought. I was in good spirits, as much as anyone can be with my dad at home, still, it wasn't anger and pain. So why did it come to this? How did it come to this?

The door opens to admit the boyscout of a superhero, Superman bearing a tray of food. Our eyes meet, while he may be able to fire lasers, mine fire deathrays into his. Neither of us speaking, my glare is enough to make him leave me alone. He places the tray on the table, walking out to leave me in peace. Glaring balefully at the tray I sit down to eat, not registering the taste of anything that goes down my throat. Anger and hatred war in my mind but I make sure to give Batman and his video feed my emotionless face.

If I sleep, my guard will be down. I'm a heavy sleeper, these superheroes could come in and collar me for all I know. Throwing open the wardrobe in the corner I pick up the large black t shirt that is probably Batman's, if he gave me his room, he should've expected this. The bathroom mirror for once greets an unknown face. Once long hair now singed unevenly, haunted black eyes and smudged face. There are no cameras here, I checked thoroughly after all, I let the mask crumble, watching my eyes reflect the pain of loss. More loss than I could've imagined. Not only did I loose my sisters but I lost both J'onn and myself. I no longer know who I am or what I am capable of nor do I know what J'onn will do to me.

There's a razor in this room. The only blade available far as I can see, carefully dissecting the razor I grip my hair in a fist, cutting it off at my neck. The mirror smiles maniacally back at me.

Beautiful, broken and destructive.

Throwing the remains of my hair, I give myself a wash. The water soaking through my bandages, excruciating pain running up my limbs as I tear them off, watching the water hit the burns. Tears mingle silently with the pouring water, adding salt to wounds, the pain doing nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I count the tiles around the shower as tears stream down, overwhelming pain screaming out to find comfort in the Martian's mind but the solid wall I built bounces my calls back into my head. J'onn will not be able to read my mind any better than I can read his.

A sharp knock on the bathroom door pulls me out of my self flagellation. Wrapping my self in the black towel I step out to be greeted by the last creature I expected. J'onn J'onzz.

My body might be badly bruised but there's no way I'm showing weakness to him. My eyes slip back into coldness, posture straightening as I glare into his eyes with each step towards him. He's carrying a medical kit, eyes roaming over all the exposed areas of my body.

"You need not be here, I can tend to myself."

His unimpressed eyes don't even faze me as I wait for his reply.

"Sit down."

I slip into the large black shirt, ignoring J'onn as he stands in the center of my room, his imposing form no longer frightening me.

A large hand falls onto my shoulder, I freeze immediately, memories of all the times he has done that filling my heart with pain. The green hand travels down my arm, ghosting over the burns to catch my hand, turning me towards the bed.

"Please, sit down."

Eyes robotically focused on the red cross across his chest, I sit at the edge of the bed as he commands, mind reeling from his touch. Gentle, green fingers rub medicine onto my burns, soothing cold cream easing away the sharp pain. Out of the corner of my eyes I notice J'onn staring at mine, I know they give away nothing. He'll have to force mind reading on me to get information out of me, none of my thoughts are being broadcasted. In fact, all my thoughts are bouncing within my head, safe from any prying Martian.

There are small pieces here which don't fit the puzzle. How did I make such a solid wall? How did I set fire to my house? Why did I drink in the first place? And most importantly, is this who I truly am? Am I a cold hearted villain that will put even Luthor to shame?

I watch, detached from the pain in my body, as J'onn wraps the white bandages around my arms and legs. His fingers gentle even though he's clearly upset.

"J'onn," I meet his red eyes with mine, letting a slip of emotion filter into them. "I don't know why any of what happened actually happened but I'm sorry."

He doesn't say anything. The red orbs reflecting agonizing pain before he too schools them into neutral. My heart whimpers as I watch him stand, packing up the medical supplies, his back turned to me as he leaves my room.

He's acting as if I destroyed his family! I'm the one who just lost both her sisters, parents and house. Where does the Martian get off giving me the cold shoulder?!

Not wanting to give any of the league members the satisfaction of watching me break, I glare out into space. Planets and stars shining, reflecting light as they twirl about merrily in their orbits. The Red planet comes up into view as the space station moves in its own orbit around earth, the double moons of Mars visible for the first time. Anger consumes my soul as I glare at the planet of the war god with growing hatred.

The planet comes closer into view as the watchtower nears it, it is beautiful. Snowy caps and blood red land. Red just like his eyes. Red just like the blood on my hands. Four members of my family. Killed by me. Two voices I will never hear again, two young girls who will never again ask me to help with their homework or to cook with guilt consumes my soul, mind screaming for J'onn. The silence echoing around me is enough indication of how effective my mind block is. Laying down on Batman's cold bed, I stare out the large window at the rotating earth below me. I don't deserve to die, the blade is a gift if I use it, I deserve to suffer after all the pain my sisters must've felt being burnt alive.

Against my will, sleep tugs at my mind, eyes sliding shut only to be welcomed by screams and bright orange flames dancing in front of me. Nightmares. Every time I close my eyes and slip under, a nightmare jolts me awake.

By the time morning arrives, I'm more tired than I was last night. The sheets are tangled around my legs, pillows thrown off the bed. Batman and his video feed must've had an good time. I straighten the bed, full of self loathing just as the door opens to admit Superman, once again bearing a tray.

We make eye contact, both of us waiting for the other to say something.

"Why did you do it?"

I know what he's asking. Why did I set fire to the house, why did I kill my family.

"I don't know."

He leaves the tray on the desk as he did last night, coming forward to stand in front of me.

"If you give us a reason we can help you, get you a psychiatrist or send you to a relative. Something. But you have to tell us the truth."

The truth. As if I know the truth. I'm equally confused and yet they think I'm hiding some malevolent intentions in my mind.

"I have never lied and I have no intention to start now. You may not know me but J'onn knows I speak the truth. I have no idea what happened last night. I don't know how I caused the fire or so much as why."

I continue before his furrowed face can voice his thoughts.

"I have no desire to convince you Superman. My loss is heavy enough without having to grovel at the feet of the likes of you to be heard and understood."

My diamond cutting glare lets him know that I'm done talking to him for the day. Maybe he's conditioned to respond to glares because of all his time with Batman, J'onn didn't respond the same way he did. The silence that follows his departure is filled with me consuming breakfast, once again no idea of what I am eating, merely swallowing down food out of reflex.

J'onn's red eyes greet mine once I step out of the bathroom in another towel. Someone is watching the surveillance cameras closely enough to time their arrival. This time I don't wait for him to tell me to sit, nor do I look at him, instead I stare out the window, letting him tend to my burns as he pleases. The silence drags on between us as careful fingers clean and wrap my burns, the scent of fresh rain and spices surrounding me as he sits next to me.

"What do you want J'onn?"

The velvet voice echoes around Batman's room as he replies.

"Let me read your mind."

Ah, looks like the two aliens had a little heart to heart. A pity it won't get them anywhere, my mind is Martian proof. My cold eyes meet the red I loved with all my heart. How could J'onn of all people believe I would set fire to my house with my sisters inside? After all the time we spent in each others head, wouldn't he have picked up such a thought when he was skimming through my emotions just before the fire broke out?

I give him a malicious smile. "You can try J'onn J'onzz."

His eyes widen at the ice in my voice, its quickly schooled away into his usual stoic expression. Large warm hands cup my face, the familiar gesture igniting anger inside me. His eyes glow orange seconds before we both cry out.

Bleeding scratches appear on his body as I violently shove him away from me, his body falling to the ground just as superheroes burst into my room. Black gauntlets twist me into an arm lock, Diana and Superman rush to J'onn's side, easing him up while I'm being forced to kneel.

Crackling electricity makes my hair stand against the mace held at my chest in warning. Hawkgirl.

"Release her!"

I stare at J'onn in equal confusion as the rest of the league members. Green Lantern speaks up just as the Martian pulls himself out of the princess's support.

"We sure she didn't affect his mind?"

"I am fine, her mind is blocked."

The crepitating mace is moved away from me, J'onn pulls me out of Batman's painful arm lock, helping me rise to my feet. I flinch away from him, irritated and hurt.

J'onn turns to the rest of the league members, all of which I ignore in favor of staring at black space outside the window. Was what happened normal? Should I be able to build a block so effective that it would physically hurt J'onn when he tries to read my mind? Why is it that I am able to do things I don't even know how to do?

"We need a moment alone." the Martian's voice rings clear over the chatter of the rest of the superheroes.

"J'onn is it safe?" Diana, her strong feminine voice carries concern. She is seconded by Superman and Green Lantern.

"Yes."

The noise dies down leaving only me and J'onn as the door slides shut behind the last League member. My eyes refuse to look at him, I'm tired, I'm hurt, I'm confused, scared of who I am and what I can do. A cautious green hand tugs at my elbow, I lifelessly follow it, my arms numb from the painful hold batman locked me in. I stare at the frayed edges of the bandage wrapped around my hands, J'onn ever so gently guides me to sit.

I don't spare him the time of day, eyes tracing threads on the bandage. Warm fingers press at my temples, the sensation is pushed away from my mind as I focus on the thread count. I feel his mind catiously trying to pry into mine, it encounters heavy resistance and slips back out. His sudden inhale drags my attention to his chest as it expands. Memories assault me of the comfort that is inches away from my face.

I want to lean on him. I want him to hold me, to tell me that I am not evil, not this heartless, that its not my fault even though I know it feels like its mine. I want J'onn J'onzz to believe in _me._


	13. Chapter 13

**Cliffhanger chapter! All disclaimers apply.**

 **Illustrations for this story can be found on Deviantart by Asanthi. (Each image is labeled Intervention) This site is not allowing me to put up links..**

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Chapter Thirteen

The Mending

"Look at me."

This time it is easy to refuse his cajoling whisper, my eyes stubbornly stay focused on his chest. His fingers tilt my face up, my eyes look through him. I am being difficult. I know its not helping me to resist a founding member but I'm far too angry at J'onn to yield.

"I understand that you are grieving but you have to talk to me."

Grieving? He thinks I'm grieving. Angry, I tug my face away from him fingers, my emotionless voice correcting him.

"I am not grieving."

Grieving is the last thing I am doing, everything in my head is merely anger and hatred. There is no space left for the sorrow of loss. The mere presence of the Martian is enough to irritate me, the beautiful memories with him serving only to highlight the contrast in his demeanor. Warm red eyes are now cold, soothing voice now merely clinical and the once tender touches now detached.

His hands fall to his sides as he regards me with his stock still posture, his voice softening for once.

"Then what are you feeling?"

"Anger." My spiteful eyes cause the alien red ones to momentarily widen.

The large green fingers capture my hand, delicately pressing my palm to a broad green chest. His alien heart beats against its cage, each throb transferring to my palm.

"It is my turn to apologize. It was not my intention to abandon you in your time of need."

"I understand," I pull my hand away from his beating pulse. "I don't know who I am anymore either."

Tears fight their way through my defenses, only to be caught by green fingers before they fall. Refusing to find solace in his arms I pull away from him, glaring at him without the previous heat.

"What do you want J'onn?"

"Answers. How did you start the fire?"

"J'onn, I can't make you believe what you don't want to, what I told you before is the truth. I don't know how any of it happened. I didn't have a reason to set fire to anything. I have never wanted to set fire to anything in the first place. None of this is me. I'm equally, if not more confused than you are."

We consider each other for a silent minute before J'onn voices one of my concerns.

"How did you build your mind defense?"

"I just built it... I felt betrayed and abandoned when you blocked my thoughts and it just happened.."

He carefully takes my face in his hands, wiping away the nearly dried tear tracks. Red eyes start glowing as he tries once more to read my mind. It hurts. My mind protests heavily, temples pulsing in pain, my nails dig into his wrists to pry his hands away but he doesn't budge. Both of us in equal pain as he tries to force himself into my mind. My soft whimper snaps him out his assault, his features softening into an apologetic, regretful mask before he abruptly stands, phasing out of my room without so much as a word.

Everything feels raw, my mind screaming in pain, I collapse onto the bed. I need to sleep, his attempt at invasion having resulted in a massive headache. I need pain medicine. There's no way this headache will allow me to fall asleep.

Its difficult to retrace my steps to the med bay I was first laying in. Each twist and turn takes me to different corridors and rooms. Doesn't anyone keep watch over this place? And why isn't Mr. Dark and Broody not stopping me? Surely his cameras have picked up on me walking about like a shepherd-less sheep in his precious watchtower. Isn't he the least bit concerned that I might blow this pile of metal up? If none of these superheroes bother to turn up I'm going to smash whatever is smash-able with my human strength!

Bless the lord! Flash! Finally someone noticed me.

"Heyya so you're J'onn's girl!"

One dark glare stops his trail of thoughts.

"Or the Bat's girl. Sheesh." I pretend to not hear his muttered words, choosing instead to state my need.

"I need pain meds."

"Oh, sure I'll get them for you!" And he's gone- back? "Here you go!"

Its unnerving how fast he moves. His bright smile is uncomfortable, when all the other superheroes are being aloof, this red clad man is being too friendly.

"Thank you. If you could lead me back to my room?"

"Sure babe! Follow me." And he's zipped again. I don't think this speedster realizes that us mere humans can't follow him at that speed. Oh he's back.

"Sorry, forgot." He starts walking at a human pace.

"Hmm."

"You sure you're not related to Bats?"

Looks like my glares don't really affect him enough to silence him permanently. Its really not helping me to make enemies here so I retort.

"If I were, you wouldn't be standing here."

He stops to stare wide eyed at me. He's so expressive.

"True! I'm Flash by the way, but you already knew that."

"Yes, I already did. Thank you for escorting me, I was getting ready to blow this place up before you zipped in."

"Oh, umm Superman sent me. Bats was about to come but Supes figured it should be me."

"Right, well I'm glad you came. Thank you." I give him a brief tight-lipped smile before slipping into my room.

Two pills of Advil later, sleep is still not forthcoming nor has my headache improved, if anything it has simply gotten worse. A new tray of food is followed by Superman through my door. What is he, the steward of this place?

He stops to take in my disheveled state, head buried in my hands, hair sticking up at every conceivable angle from my frustration. It irritates me to see his concern for some reason.

"Did the Advil not help?"

"No, it didn't. Have you got anything stronger?"

"Nothing safe to dose out."

"I don't really care if it fries me. This is killing me." My desperation knows no bounds, the constant pounding having frayed my nerves.

"I'll get Batman." Superman leaves the tray and flies off, giving me no time to respond.

The Dark Knight sweeps into the room with a scowl on his face, my pain does not hinder me from giving him an answering scowl.

"Have you got oxycodone infused ibuprofen?"

If he's surprised, he doesn't show it instead he turns to Superman with a growled "Medbay."

Superman lifts me up ignoring my protests, carrying me off to where I first woke up in this watchtower. He eases me onto a bed, moving aside as Batman approaches with a liquid filled injection.

"What is that?"

"What you asked for." Batman's reply is gruff, he pushes the sleeve of his t shirt up my arm to jab the needle into me.

Black gauntlets push me to lay down, the medicine taking its time to kick in. I know the effects my requested concoction will have on me. Oxycodone is an opioid which when combined with ibuprofen will cause drowsiness, I can finally get some pain free sleep. I stare up at the ceiling of the Medbay, the door closing behind the two superheroes one of them turning off the lights, leaving me in blissful darkness. Fuzziness settles into my brain after twenty minutes, finally numbing the skull splitting pain, tears of relief wind a path down my cheeks. Thank you whatever deity that took pity on me!

A sharp rectangle of light cuts through the darkened room. J'onn J'onzz stands in the doorway of the medbay, his impressive height and width making it easy to identify his silhouette. My eyes lazily track him as he approaches the bed I'm laying on, the sharp white light from the hallway vanishing as the door shuts. A green arm shooting overhead to flick on a dim orange light, instantly throwing light over me. He startles to see me staring at him with tear stained eyes, hand instinctively cupping my cheek.

Too tired to fight him, I lean into his touch drawing the comfort he unguardedly offers. A feather light touch wipes away the tears from my face.

"Why are you here?" My whisper snaps him out of the moment.

"Your bandages need to be changed." His hand pulls away from my face, walking to cupboards in the corner for the cold cream and fresh bandages.

My struggle to sit upright is arrested by him easily propping me up against the pillows. He drags a swivel chair to the side of the bed, taking my hand as he sits down, undoing the twisted bandages. I quietly regard him, feeling at a loss for what to say. The anger in my mind has calmed under the influence of the drugs, making me want to curl up against the green chest in front of me.

The bandages fall away to reveal healing first degree burns and pink second degree ones. J'onn opens a tube of lidocaine and cold cream, gently applying it across the first degree burns. It immediately soothes the burning sensation. The blistering burns get a Hydrogel dressing, instant moisture and pain relief follow, he wraps the gauze bandage lightly over the dressing, releases my arm and pulls down the covers to expose my bandaged legs. My mind follows his actions, not really registering the damage. Some of those will leave a scar, the first degree ones will heal fully with no issues but the blisters are another story entirely.

In the silence that surrounds us as J'onn works on me, my mind plays back memories of other times spent with him in darkness. More tender times.

"J'onn, who rescued me?"

He looks up from his careful tending to my leg. "Superman put out the fire."

"I see." The Martian has always been afraid of fire, I didn't really expect him to fly into flames and pull me out. "How long will I be kept here?"

"The league has not yet decided."

That is absolutely nonsense. There has never been any media report of any survivor of any fire in any country having ever been taken up by the Justice League. The only reason I'm up here is because of J'onn, he is also the only reason the superheroes have tolerated my less than friendly glares. I halt my Martian's hands as they work on my leg.

"J'onn, be honest with me. I'm only here because of you. We both know I would otherwise be in a hospital, probably swarmed by police officers, likely to be thrown into prison for killing people the moment I'm released from medical care." I give his hand a squeeze, catching his impassive eyes. "So I ask again, how long will I be here?"

Red eyes flash with controlled anger. "As long as it takes to find out what happened."

What does that mean?! I release his hand, he immediately goes back to working on my burns. As long as it takes to find out what happened? But I already told him all that happened. Doesn't he believe me?

"J'onn.. Its not rocket science what happened. I set fire to the house. There's no other explanation."

He doesn't grace me with a reply, focusing instead on wrapping my leg in gauze. My left arm is quickly covered in cold cream before he wipes his hands and cups my face, his eyes loosing their anger.

"You didn't."

"What?" What is going on. Why is he suddenly on my side when even I am not on my side.

"Your mind block, it is far beyond human capabilities. This is not you. You do not remember everything that happened, I can not read your mind-"

My fingers press against his mouth, "J'onn, I built it. You could've read my mind any time before you blocked my thoughts."

"Perhaps I could have."

"You definitely could have J'onn."

"Would you take it down?" His eyes gently plead with mine, silently requesting access into me.

It is amazing how quickly the anger inside me has vanished, replaced by aching numbness to sorrow. Just knowing that J'onn believes I would not have killed my sisters is enough to make me want to give him access to find all the proof he needs to either absolve me of my guilt or hand me over for my justly deserved punishment for manslaughter.

"I don't know how. I don't even know how I built it."

Warm thumbs glide over my cheekbones, fingers threading through my hair.

"Let us try, do not resist me. I will be gentle."

His glowing eyes come with a prod to my mind, true to his word, J'onn is gentle with me. I try my best to allow him access, going so far as to will my indestructible wall into pieces. Nothing works. Its clear he'll have to be forceful to pry information from me, something neither of us look forward to experiencing.

"J'onn, I'm jacked up on pain meds, if there's any time that's good for pain, now would be it. Looks like you'll have to hurt me after all."

His hands drop from my face at my words, his aquiline face twisted in anguish. Both of us aware of the pain we'll cause each other. The door opens to admit Diana, her questioning eyes focused on J'onn.

"What is it J'onn?"

"I am going to read her mind," J'onn turns to the princess, detailing out how its going to hurt us both. "separate us if she tries to push me away."

For the first time since I met her, Wonder Woman doesn't eye me coldly. Her hand on J'onn's shoulder conveys her acquiescence.

A whispering baritone requests my forgiveness before J'onn firmly splays his fingers over the sides of my head. I latch onto his wrists, ready to push him away if I can't take the pain he inflicts and give him a nod. His eyes glow a bright yellow, pain assaulting me, scratches spontaneously bursting on his body. Long sharp lines cutting into his skin, the princess gasping in shock.

Whatever he is doing to break into my mind feels like a drill boring into a wall. One constant point of growing pain as my mental shield protests, my eyes scrunch shut, hands flying to land on his chest trying desperately to not push him away. Pained screeches mingle with harsh groans in a heart wrenching melody that only Diana is an audience to.

The wall breaks. Every repressed emotion, thought and memory rush out of the crack J'onn has made, flooding his mind instantly. The assault dies abruptly, my eyes crack open to witness J'onn stumbling away, his hands gripping his head, into the Amazon's bracing arms.

The mind link we established in the park reasserts itself tentatively, pain feeding pain till the strain blacks me out.

Ice blue eyes peer into my disoriented brown ones, Wonder Woman easing me up.

"J'onn?"

Diana moves aside, letting me catch sight of the alien in question. J'onn looks drained, his head clasped in his hands, eyes shut with a pained grimace on his face. He doesn't seem to hear my call.

"Wonder Woman, what's wrong with him?"

"He's been like that for the past five minutes. I wasn't certain if I should disturb him."

One thing I'll give Diana, she doesn't baby a woman. My woozy attempts at standing are aided by a strong lean arm, allowing me to stand before J'onn. Gripping his wrists, I pull them away from his head carefully using our link to see his thoughts. Nothing good is being relived, he's going backwards through all my memories from this very moment, relieving all my anger, pain and betrayal from waking up to find his cold eyes, to my confusion in the med bay and the fire in my house.

His hands clutch my shoulders unconsciously pushing me down, I kneel between his straining thighs, wincing at the pressure he's exerting. Martians and fire don't blend well together, my bruising shoulders can attest to that. Cupping his face I try my best to send him soothing thoughts to pull him out of my nightmarish experience.

It is confusing to see what you experienced through another's eyes, and watching J'onn do this is both painful and confusing. His expression twists into one of confusion as he too tries to follow my sudden craving for a drink in the kitchen, his brows furrowing more as he goes through my thoughts when I felt his gentle brush of mind just before I started cooking.

Red eyes snap open.

The princess calls his name, it pulls him out of his trance. His eyes focus on us, slipping down to take in my kneeled position. I can see the minute realization crosses his mind. His hands release my tender shoulders as if he's been burnt, urgently raising me off the floor and into bed.

His concerned baritone surrounding us. "Are you hurt?"

"No, J'onn I'm fine."

Diana gives his shoulder a squeeze, "J'onn what did you learn?"

The chocolate voice is resigned as he replies. "Nothing good. Ma'alefa'ak."

"Who?"

"My twin brother."


	14. Chapter 14

**Dear Readers,**

 **This chapter contains a lemon. Also find the illustrations for this story on Deviantart if you Google "DeviantArt Asanthi"**

 **Enjoy the drawings. 😃**

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 **This story is not complete, it will have a happy ending.**

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Chapter Fourteen

Parting

"Who?" Diana and I voiced together.

This is the problem with mind links, you don't see everything about the person unless you probe into his mind. J'onn had given me access to his thoughts, his memories and his past but I never prodded into each aspect, choosing instead to only look at what he was experiencing at any given moment therefore his twin brother came as a shock.

J'onn jolts the Amazons memory, clearly they've encountered his brother before. "The injustice league founded by Vandal Savage, on our last mission. Do you recall the Martian?"

"Yes. We were all attacked depending on our weakness."

"Indeed. This is a personal attack. Ma'alefa'ak intends to destroy all that is precious to me."

A gentle sweep into J'onn's mind allows me to pull up memories of his twin brother, a dark creature with no compassion in his heart. J'onn permits me to pull up memories of this tall, wicked looking green Martian with hate filled eyes. None of them are pleasant ones. His twin brother being a rogue intent on killing him, not really unexpected.

"What shall we do?"

"The league does not need to be involved in this. It is family matter. I will handle it."

I pull out of my trance in his head, "Alone?"

He combs my DIY shortened hair, pushing away wayward strands before addressing me. "You have been targeted because of me. Nothing can hurt me more. Do not fear, the matter is easily solved."

"J'onn, you're not doing this alone." Diana looks far scarier than Batman when glaring at the green alien. "The league will come with you, if no one else, I will come with you."

"It is better handled alone."

I tune out their argument, neither letting the other go. Stubborn to a fault the both of them. As entertaining as it is to watch them talk circles around each other, it is quickly getting old. "Umm.. You two.."

Two pairs of vastly different eyes immediately focus on me.

"Look J'onn, just take her with you, neither of you are going to get anything done if you both just argue. Besides you might need help, I'm pretty sure your brother already knows you're on you're way now."

Diana grins smugly at him as J'onn sighs in resignation. "We'll take the javelin."

"Do you need me around for anything?" I highly doubt he'll need me though.

"No little one, it is best you stay here." And he just confirmed it.. Looks like a long wait is in store for me.

The two superheroes leave me to my pain med induced bliss, the door opening a few minutes later once again to admit J'onn with my earlier tray of food that Superman had brought before flying me off to the Medbay.

The Martian sets the tray on the bed, his downturned mouth pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Eat, you need sustenance. We won't be long."

"Be safe." I give him the best smile I can manage, sitting up to wolf down the sustenance as he puts it.

It is disheartening being surrounded by superheroes, it quickly reminds you of how fragile a mere human is unless you're insane enough to train like Batman. Batman has always been a bit of a mystery, the man behind the mask a huge media interest. I could easily learn the identity, J'onn is bound to know it. Bet Superman knows it as well...

My mind wanders to my interactions with the man of steel, can't say I've been very grateful to my apparent savior. Somehow he annoys me, his constant goody two shoes act, his bold eye catching uniform, his overly square jaw, basically everything about him grates on my nerves. The type of individual too idealistic to feel comfortable around. He never appears to have any depth in his personality, even on media he's constantly upright in his judgment, all black and white with no grey. So unlike the other resident alien, J'onn.

Now there's a man with depth, maybe I am biased but the Martian Manhunter has a soul drowning depth to him. The trials of his life lending him an air of wisdom beyond imagination. His calm, rumbling voice adds to the picture he makes, effortlessly managing to be heard over the din of various opinions of his teammates. He can calm me simply with a few words or a press of lips.

Thinking of J'onn is painful, the messy memories fighting each other to suppress my counter emotions. While his lack of faith hurt, I can't fault him for initially doubting me. Nevertheless, logic doesn't run the domains of the heart and one can never argue with a nevertheless.

Swinging my legs off the bed, I take my tray and head back to my room. Its a good few minutes by the time I find myself at the place Flash found me earlier, thankfully the path after this is well in my memory! Batman's room is still unoccupied, doesn't he use it? Why have a room if he doesn't use it? Seems kind of pointless to me. Wonder what J'onn's room is like..

It really is of no use staying awake till he returns. The longer I stay awake, the more my thoughts wander to him and my mixed emotions. I pull the covers up around me, settling into the comfortable bed for some rest, hopefully this time the nightmares will stay away.

The mission must've gone off without a hitch for the two teammates to be back by dinnertime. A fresh tray is waiting for me at the desk along with a Martian at the edge of my bed.

"How long were you just standing there?"

A small upturn of a green mouth is my only answer. He looks sad. The lines on his face more pronounced, angular eyes drooping at the corners.

"J'onn... What's wrong?"

Sitting on the edge of the bed at my waist, J'onn brushes his fingers through my hair, "We must cease this relationship between us."

"What?" I can feel my face pale, the blood draining from my extremities.

My suddenly cold fingers latch onto his wrist, what is going on in his head? Why this of all things. The sad red eyes don't reduce the building pain in my heart and instead of a verbal answer, J'onn presses his sloped forehead to mine with a resigned exhale.

Thoughts fill my head, the mission, from his perspective. The large ugly green alien aka his twin brother leering at my face, taunting me with a "Did you enjoy the little present?". The anger J'onn felt at that moment fills me as if its my own, fear an underlying emotion in him throughout. "Undo what you have done Ma'alefa'ak, this violates the codes of our people!" It is disturbing feeling myself saying J'onn's words in the memory, this is taking the words 'walk a mile in my shoes' quite literally.

"Oh I've barely begun brother. Use your Martian gifts, see beneath the surface you have scratched."

A sense of vertigo fills me, watching me using telepathic probing as J'onn. The results are worrying. His evil brother has not just messed with my head but has also alerted the injustice gang of my importance to a certain near invulnerable alien. In other words he's painted a big red target on my back labeled 'The Manhunter's Weakness'.

"Imagine the things that will happen to her J'onn." The Ma'alefa'ak in J'onn's mind smirks behind an odd, shredded blue cape. A part of my mind notes how it too covers his neck.

The smirk leads to a lunge, I feel myself actually flinching back as his brother comes at me. The ensuing struggle is dizzying, Ma'alefa'ak changing form to gain the upper hand followed by what I assume is the sensation J'onn undergoes whenever he morphs into any shape of his choice. My body feels like its elongating, stretching at various place, shrinking at others, overall it is disconcerting.

Looks like having Diana with him came in handy after all, her golden lasso ropes around the evil twin's hips, snagging him down in a bind. What follows next is impossible to focus on. J'onn must've used some mental trick on his brother that is well beyond a human mind's understanding for my mind is incapable of registering the next few seconds that I experience as him. It is at this point that J'onn chooses to end his memory projection, pulling away from my forehead, soft red eyes meeting mine in a plea.

Realization floods me. The target painted on me. That's why he wants this over with. He doesn't want me hunted down as bait to lure him out.

Large, green fingers trace the side of my face, brushing away the tears that are starting to slip down my cheeks, warm lips press onto my forehead, body gently pulled into a soul engulfing embrace. His scent causes a wave of fresh tears to run down my face, most of it soaking into his blue cape that I've got fisted in my hands.

The reverberating voice echoes around me in his embrace, his words softly whispered against my temple. "I have already lost so much, I will not loose you as well."

The Martian pulls back to wipe away my tears, both hands cupping my face, eyes remorseful. Without giving him time to think I fling my arms around his neck and slant my mouth against his, pouring every bit of desperation into that one kiss. J'onn doesn't stop me. He kisses me back with equal passion, tongue wrapping around mine in a gentle suckle, hands briskly rubbing up and down my back, pulling me tight against his chest. He expertly calms the kiss, taking away the raw pain into a heartbreaking farewell, mouth gentling in its movements, slowly making me reciprocate him at his pace.

There's no way I'm letting him go. He can torture himself all he wants with heartbreak but I'm not about to let him walk out on me. Nipping his ever frowning bottom lip, I let myself drop onto the bed, dragging the large alien onto me. J'onn makes to withdraw, arms tensing behind me. His motions are quickly stopped when I abandon his mouth in favor of his very sensitive throat.

The arousal roughened voice pleads out a soft "stop" which I adamantly ignore, palms memorizing every plane and angle on his body as they glide down his back to his hips under his massive blue cape. Brushing the tip of my tongue against the straining tendon in his neck cracks J'onn. Letting out a rough groan, the Martian settles his hips into the cradle of my thighs, wide rough palms circling around my waist and pulling me into the center of the bed. His uniform dematerializes in a blink of an eyes, mine taking much longer to be pulled off of me.

Steady hands bat my own away to quickly tear off Batman's T shirt, a possessive growl indicating exactly what thought fueled that particular move.

We've both given up on our higher functions of mind, the looming horizon of separation causing both of us to be lost in an effort to etch every second into eternity in mind. J'onn hitches my leg over his hip, fingers gliding over to test how ready I am before he snaps his hips, his entire length sheathing itself in one smooth thrust.

He doesn't allow any sound to escape me, my soft keen dampened by his tongue in my mouth while my body presses up against his. Dense muscles resist my arching body, the much tougher skin arousing me further as my nipples catch against his chest. When J'onn draws back to slam into me there's no finesse, simply rough, hard strength pulling pitiful sounds from my lips. My fingers find purchase in his, lacing together at my head to keep him up, darkened red eyes lock onto mine, keeping us centered on each other.

I tighten around him as I near my peak, J'onn provides me with the needed push when he works my bundle of nerves till I clench down in an open mouthed scream of his name. The white hot pleasure dissipates slowly pulling my awareness to the thick shaft buried inside me. The Martian works me through my contracting muscles, his hands holding me hips, his thrusts slowing into long, slow burns against me. I circle my arms around his neck, pressing hot wet kisses to his sharp jaw and down to his clavicle.

J'onn cradles my body in his arms, immobilizing my unconscious writhing till only his movements can give me relief. He might be leaving me but I want him marked. With this thought in my head I press my teeth into his throat, knowing full well that in less than five minutes once we are done, his healing will erase it. J'onn stutters a groan, thrusts picking up speed till I'm locked around him once more in an orgasm.

My fingers cradle the bald green head to my heaving breasts, soothing him while he recovers. As ever he recovers incredibly quick, a kiss pressed to my neck before drawing back from me, red eyes roaming over me before his pulls the covers around me. A soft farewell is pressed to my forehead, his uniform already materialized when he pulls back. So this is goodbye.

A heartbeat passes in silence, grieved eyes immortalizing a moment in time. The walls his brother built in my head being reconstructed by my Martian 'For your protection.'

' _You will always have my heart, little one.'_ J'onn walks out of Batman's room with that final thought whispered lovingly into my mind.

Silence. Mind numbingly empty silence.

Seconds after the Martian Manhunter walked out of Batman's room, my mind registered exactly what he'd done. He'd taken away our link! I am of no use to any enemy of his without my ability to touch his mind, he's protecting me at the cost of my sanity...

A giant golden "S" fills my blurred vision. "Are you alright?"

Funny, I didn't notice the tears this time. "Peachy."

"We're sending you back to Earth." The gravel swallowed voice of the Dark Knight cuts through my haze. "Do you have any place to stay?"

Oh..

"No.. I can.. Stay with a friend or something." I never thought about where I'd stay after the league members released me from watchtower-arrest. Shen and Anji must've been worried. I didn't even send them a message.. I'm gonna be toast when I get back.

Batman drops a key into my lap. My questioning eyes getting a simple. "It's yours." for an answer. What's mine? A house? Did Batman just give me a house?! I thought the guy hated me.

I'm marched into what I figure are teleportation pads. Large blue disks on a raised platform can't be much else. Batman keys something into control panel and Superman hands me a slip of paper. "If you ever need us."

Oh.. A contact number. Its difficult to adjust to these two suddenly very helpful superheroes who I basically growled at ever since I arrived. Perhaps they're feeling sympathetic after J'onn called us off or maybe they're doing this because of J'onn. Either ways I'm grateful. Superman gives me his classic tv persona smile, blue light suddenly surrounding me.

Ooooh lord my head! Its nauseating to be teleported, I've no idea how J'onn tolerates it. Where on earth did I get teleported to anyway?

Jesus! This is a fully furnished house! Large double windows, wallpaper, couch, tea table, the works. This can't possibly be Batman's, there's not a spot of black here. Everything is in varying shades of brown from the beige walls to the dark brown chairs in the open kitchen, its covered with very soothing earth colors.

Why aren't you with me J'onn... There's no way to communicate with him anymore. No means to tell him how much I long to make memories in this new place I've been given. I'm pretty sure I can find out who the owner is if I pull up the legal documents.

The kitchen is fully stocked with everything I could possibly hope for except alcohol. Inspecting the bathroom results in a similarly stocked set of toiletries, the bathroom connects to my bedroom. A large king size bed in the middle of the room, soft orange light, the only illumination in this place. There's an envelope on the pillow.

'This deed confirms transfer of ownership of residence from the previous owner (hereto referred as the first party) Mr. John Jones to the new owner (hereto referred as the second party-'

 _John Jones._


	15. Chapter 15

**Dear readers,**

 **Findd the illustrations for this story on Deviantart if you Google "DeviantArt Asanthi"**

 **Enjoy the drawings and leave me reviews.**

 **Warning: cliche cliffhanger. Also I don't really know if parking on the curb is legal or not.**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

Strike

 _John Jones._

This house belonged to J'onn... The colors make sense. Nothing here is depressing, every color is calm and soothing. He gave me his home... Burying my face in the pillows allow me to detect the faintest scent of rain. It must've been a while since J'onn last used this place and so finally for the first time since everything that happened, I break down.

The fading scent of rain providing comfort to the silence in my head. Memories of my family, my two sisters permanently removed from my life. The loss of my parents don't weigh me as much as the loss of my siblings. The Martian scented pillows rapidly absorb my tears, muffling my heaving sobs. Its hard to breathe. Not only did I loose my family but I've lost J'onn as well.

Humans are insignificant playthings in the hands of super-powered aliens and gods. The sheer injustice of it all results in an echoing scream. It takes a few minutes before I'm aware of the damage I'm causing myself. My voice gone raw, nails digging bloody crescents into my palms and lungs burning for oxygen. Shutting down on my emotional response I try focusing on the things I have to sort out after the fire.

The Justice League has clearly cleared my name of any possible conviction from the police for setting a house on fire but there's so much else left to do. So many things to finalize, finances, savings, personal identifications documents, funeral services, work, college, apologies to Shen and Anji, and a haircut. Maybe I can start with the apologies and haircut...

It's a four days by the time I've settled into my new home, gotten all the family savings transferred under my name and arranged for the funeral service. Shen and Anji gave me a right proper scolding followed by bone crushing human hugs, with their help it was much easier to finalize all the documentations and arrangements.

"Come on! You need to get dressed! Shen will be here with the car."

"Anji, I'm tired.." I don't want to hold a funeral, I don't even want to go through with half my life.. J'onn is constantly on my mind along with my sisters. Thoughts of what I've lost circling tighter and tighter the closer I get to the black dress. It feels too much like an irreversible good bye.

Anji has been pushing me into getting ready since the day broke, pulling out my black dress, gloves, shoes and hat. She's laid it all out and has been glaring at me for the past ten minutes, demanding I man up, cursing my boyfriend for not being here for me. I have yet to tell my friends as about what happened with J'onn..

The door bell rings in quick succession, must be Shen, he's always tried to fry doorbells no matter where we go.

"Finally!" Anji huffs at me. "Go change or I'm sending Shen in to change you!"

Loud voices fill my living room, Shen and Anji handling last minute details. The black dress reminds me of Batman. Dark and melancholic, so beautifully representing sadness. The soft material slides over my body, wrapping me in shadows, pulling me away from happiness. The reflection in the mirror is reminiscent of the Dark Knight, my lips pressed into a firm scowl, eyes circled with lack of sleep, entire body radiating repressed anger and sorrow. Did the Batman loose someone precious to him before he became who he is now?

"WILL YOU HURRY UP WOMAN?!"

"Calm down Anji."

The door is shoved open before I can reach for it, Shen peeping over his girlfriend's shoulder. "You alright?"

"Been better. Lets get this over with.."

My stiff battle posture is momentarily broken when Shen pulls me into his chest. "You're not alone, alright?"

I want to tell him that I am alone, no family of my own nor my beloved, simply me. My friends can't stay with me forever, they have their own life to attend to, their own problems that consume them, so I nod into his shoulder, aching to be held in another's embrace. An embrace where I could never have my face buried in a shoulder, only in a chest.

The funeral is a morbid affair, everything surrounded by the joy absorbing color black. Half the people attending are unknown to me and I desperately wish that the remaining half were equally unaware of me and my significance at the gathering. Shen and Anji do their best to guard me against the hushed whispers and pointed fingers behind which various views are being constructed about me and my potentially unstable mind. I should've expected that. Not everyone is going to believe that I am innocent, why didn't I think of that?

Ignoring all of these malicious people reminds me of what J'onn once said about humanity and its less than appealing thoughts. Leaning into Shen's shoulder I close my eyes to block out the suspicious glares of the people around me, his arm coming around to turn my face into his neck.

"You've been cleared by the Justice League of all things, ignore these idiots."

A pathetic "I'm trying." is the only response I'm capable of mumbling into his crisp shirt before tears ruin the dry fabric.

A warm hand falls onto my shoulder, Shen gently easing me back to face the intruder.

"I wished to offer you my deepest condolences, it can not be easy to handle the insensitivity of these people around you."

The soft spoken, dark stranger offers me an embrace I quickly fall into, his height allowing me to imagine being held by J'onn for he's too tall for my head to rest anywhere but his chest. I draw every bit of strength from this man that I can, "Thank you."

He gives a sad nod before parting to allow others their chance to console me. Most of it feels hollow and insincere but I nod, thank and return whatever hugs are offered to me. A lot of strange men are the ones who seem to actually feel sorry for me, most likely my father's coworkers.

By the time Shen and Anji drop me home, I'm exhausted in every sense of the word. There's not a drop of alcohol in J'onn's house, I need to drink. Thankfully Shen knows me well enough to have prepared.

Anji drags out glasses while Shen opens a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey. This should have me knocked out in five glasses provided I can hold in 3 glasses. The last time I drank before I inadvertently set fire to the house was a long time ago, its safe to say that drunk sex is never a pleasant memory. Mostly because you don't remember what it is that you did in the first place apart from throwing up.

Shen pours out glasses for all of us, making sure to keep me seated between himself and Anji. They've heard enough to not let me stumble anywhere while drunk. J'onn would so disapprove if he could see me now.

That is thought pushes me to drown the glass in one go, both my friends staring at me in shock. The alcohol burns down my throat, scorching a path of fire into me. I know my body very well, one more glass and my motor skills will weaken, whatever therapeutic value was to be had in this drinking session, its not going to happen now.

"You want to tell us what's on your mind?"

Shen's voice snaps me out of my meditative stare into the empty glass. Silently I hold it out for refill, noting how he's filled it much less this time.

"Nothing on my mind worth mentioning."

"Not even the boyfriend?" Anji probably remembers the time I last knocked back a glass. It was over a bad break up.

"You wouldn't believe who he was." I burst out in giggles imaging the shock that would cross their faces if they knew.

Shen discreetly refills my glass. "Who was it?

"The Martian Manhunter."

I burst out in hysterics, the shock on their faces priceless.

"The green alien?"

"What?"

"The Martian guy?"

"Are you serious?"

"Shennnnn..." my shaking hand holds out the glass for another shot.

Anji snatches it away. "God no! You're not gonna get knocked out till we hear all about this!"

"What?! Nooo!" I'm at tears over being denied the alcohol, a misplaced emotional response that my friends recognize instantly. Shen pulls me to his side, running his hand over my arm while Anji gives my hand a squeeze.

"Tell us love. What happened?"

I wearily recount what happened, my unwillingness helped along by Anji and her strategic alcoholic motivation. I hate this woman!

By the time I'm done my heart is as wrecked as my sense of balance, face pressed into Shen's chest I close my eyes, no longer wanting to face anything. "I miss them... I miss my sisters and I miss _him._ "

The gentle rubs across my back encourage my tears, Anji having excused herself to wash her face. "Shen.. I really miss him."

Shen is silent through my whimpers, his body all wrong in the comfort it's offering. J'onn would have wrapped me in his arms with his cape surrounding me, he would have pressed his lips to my forehead with a promise of protection, his scent alone would have comforted me. Pulling away from Shen, I drown my last glass for the night, both of us knowing this will knock me out.

I'm lifted off like a bride and carried into my new bedroom. My best friend puts me to bed, tucking me in and combing his fingers through my hair. "You'll be fine in the morning.. Get some rest."

His soft voice is nothing like the deep, echoing baritone of the Martian Manhunter, I scrunch my eyes and bury my face in the pillow to catch that fading scent of spices and rain, maybe I'll dream of him tonight. Any dream of him will do.

When I scramble out of bed to throw up, Shen is there to hold my hair back and offer me water. He's also there the next morning when I finally wake up to the events of last night. Aspirin and water are waiting for me at the table, my hangover playing havoc in my brain.

"Feeling better?" his voice is thankfully low.

Throwing my arm over my face I block out soft light in the room. "Feel like road-kill."

"Come on, you need food."

"Why're you still here? Didn't you go home last night?"

"Just. Now move your ass."

Stumbling out of bed, I'm guided to the kitchen where Shen has somehow managed to fix toast and eggs without burning down the house.

"Since when can you cook? You used to mess up boiling water!"

"Just eat woman!"

I give him and the breakfast a surreptitious glance. It doesn't look weird.. In fact the toast looks normal, hmm tastes alright too.

"How'd you manage this?"

Shen turns a fetching shade of pink. "Anji taught me..."

Snickering into the toast I ignore the threatening glare he sends my way. Sobering up to the reality of this morning I catch his eyes in mine. "Thanks Shen, for everything.."

If its possible he looks more uncomfortable, "Its nothing."

By the time Shen leaves, I'm back in bed, face buried in pillows that smell less like J'onn and more like alcohol. The piece of paper that Superman gave me is lying next to me, the number scrawled on it already memorized, I wish I had a reason to call him but I'm not certain exactly what number he gave me. Is it his personal cell or the justice league line? Unwilling to find out I simply retrace the numbers over and over. Is J'onn watching over me? Is he burdened by loss as much as I am burdened by his?

I've made peace the with silence in this house. No squealing laughter of my sisters, no various objects strewn about and no one to drag me out of bed for breakfast. The house is pristine, constantly clean, a result of my agitation for lack of things to do. The school holidays are drawing to an end in a few days, thankfully that'll give me something to focus on instead of this emptiness.

I have half a mind to quit my job and take a blade to my wrists but somehow the Martian's voice pulls me back from such thoughts. Did he mess with my head when he recreated those walls?!

Shen and Anji drop by regularly over the final week of school holidays, making sure that I'm not dead or dying and that I've eaten. Shen also drives my car over, it being the only thing that escaped the fire after having been parked at the curb. Its hardly been three meals a day but I don't have the heart to tell them that, instead I focus on keeping a calm and collected appearance, not giving anyone room to crowd me into anything.. In some ways I feel like I'm trying to be J'onn, trying to emulate his detached, unapproachable air and his black slate of a face whenever he is with others. Even back on the watchtower, he never showed as much emotion to his fellow teammates as he did with me.

The change in me is not unnoticed by my friends, both of them giving me space whenever I straighten up with blank eyes. And so this is how I report to work the following Monday only to met with more people who judge me behind hushed whispers. At least my students have the spine to ask me outright whatever they have on mind.

"Ma'am! Did the Justice League really punish you?"

Talk about misconception... "No Tony, they didn't punish me, they cleared my name."

This prompts another student to pipe up with, "My mommy said that they were just covering you up."

"Has the Justice League ever covered up for anyone other than me?"

"Umm no."

"Exactly, see, it wasn't a cover up. Besides Superman would never lie now would he?"

Its amazing how the Superman has cemented such an image of honesty. If Superman says the world is shaped like a turtle then it must be so. Blind faith in an image, its useful in this scenario but I doubt its any good for the safety of a planet.

This goes on for the rest of my classes, getting progressively worse the higher the grade I visit until finally the blessed bell rings. End of day one in hell. The desire to quit has multiplied with every hour that has passed till I've snapped enough to draft a resignation letter. Scowling aggressively enough to be mistaken for the Batman, I walk out of the building, the fire in my eyes discouraging my coworkers from approaching me.

Grumbling under my breath at humanity and its lack of anything humane, my march to my car is blindsided by solid knock to the back of my head. Panic and fuzziness pulling me under.


	16. Chapter 16

**Dear readers**

 **This chapter is a bit painfully personal. More so than the first chapter. I should warn you this is a rape chapter which I have glossed over a bit for fear of triggering any unpleasant memories you might have if you've experienced anything similar.**

 **I advise all sensitive readers to skip this chapter. Your mental health is important.**

 **Warning:Rape. Non consent. Torture tactics.**

 **Disclaimer: J'onn doesn't belong to me.**

Chapter Sixteen

Fear

My head is killing me. What the hell just happened?

Great, I can't move my hands nor my feet, some wonderful example of goodness has tied me to a chair. What is this? A classic black and white film with a helpless dame tied under a swinging light bulb? Not that I'm feeling any better than a helpless dame, pretty sure I can feel dried blood sticking to my hair at the back of my head.

Why didn't I learn escape artistry from Batman when I was cooped up in the watchtower, sure would come in handy right about now.

Glancing around through a black hazed vision, all I can see are four walls, my effectively tied up self, a couple of cameras and a nice big door. Great, I'm under surveillance and I just alerted my captors to my wakefulness. If there's one thing movies have taught me, its never alert your captors that you're awake. They only torture you when you're awake.

And speak of the devil. The door opens to a large, black, ugly- gorilla?!

"Ah how lovely to see you awake."

A talking gorilla. Right. This is a dream. Only a dream.

"We were looking for you for quite some time, you know."

Right, so not creepy at all. Another lesson from movies, don't talk back unless you want to get punched in the face. Never pays to be a hero without backup. Backup that I currently have none of. No one will notice my absence till tomorrow morning when I have to report to work and J'onn has removed the mind link so I can't call out to him either. I could call Superman... But I doubt this gorilla is going to give me a phone.

"Not very talkative for a female, I can see why the Martian choose you."

Martian? This is about J'onn... I meet the gorillas frightening eyes, I don't remember him in any papers..

"Who are you?"

"You don't know me? Why, I'm Grodd."

The name is vaguely familiar.. "What do you want?"

"Revenge of course."

This villain is surprisingly patient, always a problem with the leaders. They love to gloat and then switch into aggression.

"Why me?"

"Lets just say I have a bone to pick with a certain Martian. He ruined my plans!" The gorilla violently stalks forward, his massive hand giving my chair a shake. "Tricked me when success was at my fingertips! But you," my jaw is tightly clenched between thick fingers, tipping my throbbing head backwards. "You're the key to his downfall. The key to bringing the Justice League to its knees!"

Aggression right on schedule. I tug my face back from his painful hold, this creature doesn't understand his own strength. His grin is all teeth as he steps back. Not a good sign.

"I hear you can call the Martian through your thoughts. Lets have you beg for a rescue."

The door violently opens for a few choice criminals to stalk in, nothing good being promised by their gleeful faces. They don't look all too familiar except the all black costumed thin man with a walking stick. Shade. The other two are a mismatched set of villains. A dark version of green lantern and a purple synthoid with silver definitions. I turn back to Grodd, praying desperately that he's not about to do what I think he's about to.

"I can't call him. He removed the link."

"A pity then, it'll have to be the old way."

"What?"

He just waves his hand in dismissal. "She's all yours gentlemen. And please, nothing too gory. I hate to touch blood."

"No! THIS IS POINTLESS! I CAN'T CONTACT HIM! I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"

"I believe you."

"You do? Then why?"

"You see, this organ," he taps thick fingers to his skull. "can read minds. Unfortunately for you, you are correct, you can't reach him. But that doesn't mean a nice little video broadcast can't."

No...

The door slams behind me and instantly the air is menacing, these three, less than gentle, men approaching me with various intentions in their eyes. Cold breaks out over me, fear racing through my veins at the obvious outcome.

Shade gives me a once over, his sunglassed face deliberately moving up the length of my legs to my heaving chest before cupping my face in a thin hand. "Such a pretty face."

The dark green lantern undoes the ropes binding me only to pull me up and hold me in a yellow tinged energy vice.

"Now, now Sinestro, we should let the little lady struggle." Shade chides the lantern, Sinestro.

And struggle I do, but no amount of twisting is helping me snap out of those yellow binds. If anything my struggling is amusing these men. The synthoid leers at me, the minute his fingers touch my throat I scream out, energy draining from my body as I collapse.

Sinestro pushes him away with a bolt of yellow fire. "Parasite we want her alive!"

Their arguing is pushed out of my mind when Shade cups me through my skirt. His fingers leaving repulsive trails that burn into me. Sinestro stops me from flinching, his body flush against my back, arm locked inappropriately over me. The two of them angle me towards the camera in the corner, the red hand tugging my chin up to face the mechanical lens.

"We don't want them to mistake your identity now do we?"

Eyes slipping shut, I try desperately to not let any emotion show on my face but the thought of J'onn seeing me like this is enough to pull tears from me against my will.

"So much better..." he croons into my neck, sharp teeth running along my throat. I wrench myself away from his body only to have the synthoid run another finger, this time across my chest, my shirt ripped off of me in his quest to drain me with an invasive squeeze.

Shade catches me against his chest with a grin, pushing me lower. "You only had to ask sweetheart. Lets have that mouth put to some use."

It feels like hours before Grodd walks in after these pigs have had their way with me. Parasite taking inordinate amounts of pleasure in zapping the life out of me whenever I resist till I'm too weak to push away from whatever they force me to endure.

My skirt has been discarded, shirt torn to shreds in Parasite's crudeness and underwear strewn across the room. Their unwelcome touch feels branded into my skin, painful marks littered across my body, every part of me trembling in violated shame.

"Gentlemen report to your stations. Don't forget your training, the others are waiting."

After they've left, Grodd pushes me back into the chair. "You should have seen the reaction to our little video. The best kind of blow is always emotional, I'll come finish you off once we're done."

I probably look too broken to bother with tying, for that I'm grateful. Getting out of my chair, I crumple to the floor, legs far too shaky to support me. I want my clothes, being exposed to the surveillance system in this humiliated state I curl up behind the chair. Its the only thing capable of hiding me at least partially from the cameras.

I can tell the minute the Justice League has arrived. The sudden chaos that ensues is enough evidence, the building vibrating with the hard impact of super-powered humans. I struggle to my feet, stumbling to the door in a fruitless hope that Grodd left the door unlocked. He did no such thing.

Nothing left to do but wait, I cross my arms over my chest and sink to the floor, pitiful tears retracing the dried tracks on my face. This is how J'onn finds me.

The Martian Manhunter has never looked more fearsome, eyes blazing in anger he phases up through the floor.

"J'onn..."

The moment our eyes meet I look away from him, in an instant he has me in his arms, his cape wrapped securely around my trembling body. I am unable to respond to anything he asks, his voice filled with anguish, instead I just hide my face in his tall collar.

The door is kicked out effortlessly, J'onn flying us through the building and into the Justice League aircraft. During the short length of this flight I breathe in his scent, ignoring everything around me. His arms tighten around me whenever I whimper or loosen my grip.

J'onn sets me onto a gurney at the corner under what looks to be an emergency medical unit. His fingers press a comlink in his hear to bark out a command. The first time I've ever heard him sound angry.

"Superman send a pilot."

He doesn't wait for a reply but pulls out a thick blue blanket to wrap me in. I clutch it to my chest, curling up as much as possible on myself.

"Hera..." Diana's soft gasp snaps my attention to the blue eyed princess. She glides into the pilot seat, immediately starting up the craft.

J'onn keeps me steady in place when the sudden lift off results in me loosing balance. My eyes focus on his gold buckle, I don't want to look at him. I don't want to know what he's thinking of me after the video. Large green fingers quickly wipe away my tears, running over my body to assess for damage. When I flinch from his touch, he doesn't say anything but his hands fist temporarily, a low rumble filling the aircraft.

A cold pack is held to the back of my head where the blood has dried over the bump. My trembling body pulled forward into his chest once more. I'm tired, I don't have the strength to object to the large fingers prodding at my marked arms but I whimper in protest when those fingers part the blanket to check my thighs. I push against J'onn J'onzz with every last bit of strength I have, my distressed cry stilling the Martian in his tracks.

His voice echoes around me. "I will not hurt you." his fingers very slowly tip my chin up, my eyes automatically look away from him. "Look at me.."

I don't. He doesn't force me. A sudden jolt of landing tumbles me into his chest.

"J'onn do you need help?" Diana softly calls his attention to the opened door of the aircraft.

A quiet "No." is sent her way before he picks me up and flies us off to the bathroom in the medbay. I'm beginning to hate this place. It seems to be my permanent residence in the watchtower.

J'onn tugs the blanket away, soft apologies whispered into the air when quiet noises of protest escape me. He works quickly, propping me up against him under the shower, water washing away all the blood under his careful fingers. My tears mingle with the cascading water down my face and into his chest where I've taken refuge.

The water is shut off, lifeless limbs eased into a large white t shirt that the Martian has somehow acquired. He lays me out on the bed, silently working at every mark on my body. Tears make another appearance when his fingers press inside me, the tortured alien inserting a numbing cream into me. A hypodermic of antibiotic is injected into my arm and I'm all wrapped up in thick blanket.

My blank stare at the overhead light is broken by J'onn who returns from cleaning up to lean over me, blocking my view with his body. Averting my eyes to the red cross spanning across his chest results in a soft plea from J'onn for me to make contact with him. I can't bring myself to look at him.

"Forgive me." his fingers touch my temples, my mind shutting down in a telepathically induced sleep.

"How is she?"

"Non responsive, she hasn't said a word."

"Grodd has been handed to Solavar, he'll make sure he never escapes again. You did a number on him J'onn."

"I lost control in my anger."

"We don't blame you J'onn."

Voices, so many voices speaking around me. Blearily waking up I can see the Justice League members surrounding me bed. All too lost in conversation to notice my opened eyes. Superman has a supportive hand on the Martian's shoulder, Diana and Green Lantern flanking him. Flash and Hawkgirl having a conversation of their own. Batman the only one who is staring right into my eyes. My breath stills as he approaches quietly, all eyes turning to me.

Panicked harsh breaths surround the room.

"Back off you're scaring her!" J'onn pushes him aside, breaking me out of my trance. Batman's black suit reminding far too much of Shade.

J'onn cups my face, my tears being brushed away. "Breathe, you need to breathe little one."

The memories crash over me, restarting the trembles that I had barely noticed before, soft whimpers escaping me when I try to still my hands from shaking. Green hands engulf mine, pressing my palms to an equally green chest. I stare intently at the contrasting colors, grounding myself in the one color that was fully absent in all my attackers.

I want to get out of this med bay. Its too blank and impersonal, reminding me of all the messes I'm getting into.

J'onn picks me up into his arms. "I'm taking her to my room. She needs a different environment"

Is he reading my mind? I watch various uniforms part, allowing us to make a way to what is J'onn's room. It is a beautiful room, quiet and calming, soft teal blue shades adorning the bed spread. Soft lights above us illuminating the room. He sits us down in the middle of the bed, draping a comforter around me and pulling me into his chest to lay down.

' _You are safe. I will not allow harm to befall you.'_

His voice echoing in my head after so long makes me break down. Muffled sobs pressed into my fists. Its weary, crying so much for so long. J'onn guides me to sit up, a glass of water pressed to my lips.

' _Drink_.' I hardly need the encouragement after being parched for so long. His hands move mine through all the motions, keeping me steady as I gulp down mouthfuls of refreshing water. Once I'm done, he pulls me against his side, fingers combing back my short hair.

"You do not have to feel ashamed." The baritone voice whispers into the air between us. "I see you no different now than I did before." His hand cups jaw, tilting my face up with the barest of pressure. "My heart is still yours. Please, look at me little one."

Pain filled red eyes lock onto mine, relief flooding through them when I don't look away.

"J'onn.."


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello my dear readers,**

 **I apologize for the very long delay in updating this story but somehow I just couldn't find a way to continue it until today when for the first time I experienced the type of reaction from a man that I could imagine J'onn bestowing. So here it is, this story is going to pick it's pace back once more and hopefully keep flowing. Thank you all for your patience and for the Faves and Follows. They mean the world to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I still have no rights over J'onn.**

* * *

"J'onn..."

My voice sounds broken even to my own ears and I can see how it affects him. His already somber face taking on a pained frown, J'onn gently rubs his hands across my back, the tender touch contrasting wildly with the lust filled groping hands of my attackers.

Is this to be my new life? To always be cursed with the memory of rough, self centered touches of three men even when I'm in bed with another man? To know that I can never spend a precious moment with my lover without being plagued by unpleasant memories. My mind feels defeated in every sense of the word, tears remaking their appearance as I shut my eyes to block away the pain on J'onn's face.

He doesn't offer any empty words, mind already having tracked my thoughts, instead he brings me into his chest. It feels like hours before I finally feel grounded enough to look up at the alien's red eyes.

The dreams that fill my mind are unfocused, never sticking to one image and through it all I can feel the presence of another's mind in mine. Whenever the images turn dark, they are pulled away. It is an odd sense of awareness to know that you are dreaming in your dreams but it helps my troubled mind release its tight grip and succumb to a deep sleep.

The next time I open my eyes, I am faced with an empty bed and lots of blankets. The fuzzy memories in my head pull me out of bed to look around the room, distantly I am aware that J'onn must be close and I make my way on what feels like autopilot into the adjacent door leading to a well-lit bathroom. In the space of ten minutes I manage to fill the bath tub and slip into the water, the ghosting memory of unwelcome touches making me want to burn it off my body.

Turning the knobs on the hot water faucet till the water turns scalding but the touch doesn't get any lighter. The slow rising steam in the bathtub is dizzyingly beautiful, pulling my attention to the wisps and curls as it floats up, leaning back I follow the trail with my eyes, head resting on the rim of the tub. Sleep tugs gently at my eyes. Would I feel it if I were to fall asleep and slip under the water? Would I wake up or would it be an effortless, eternal sleep?

This intriguing question doesn't get its chance to be tried out. J'onn rushes in through the door, slipping wordlessly behind me in the ridiculously hot water till my head is cradled into the crook of his shoulder. A deafening splash of water signals his body settling fully into the tub.

"What are you trying to do, little one?"

"Nothing.." I whisper into his throat, whishing desperately to be dead.

He eases the hot water tap off, hands slowly gliding over my arms to firmly turn me into his chest. Silent tears track down my face, my desires to run away from my memories having failed. He doesn't make a sound when my breathing hitches, simply tightens his arms around me, tucking my head under his chin. The silence is broken periodically with my soft whimpers, the only sound which makes him react with soft soothing noises whispered into my hair.

J'onn pulls me out of the tub after my clenched fists loosen against his chest. A white fluffy towel is wrapped around me as he leads me to the bed, a tray of fruits and toast taking up the spot I occupied last night. His soft encouragement to eat is met with my blank eyes, stomach unhappy with the thought of food. Patient and cautious hands tug me into his lap, a soft slice of peach brought to my lips.

A few seconds of coaxing later he's managed to get food into me, my mind having wandered during his feeding, I gather my courage to make a request.

"J'onn can you erase my memories?"

My soft words are met with widening eyes immediately filling with horror. Oops. Looks like I touched a sensitive topic.

"I would never do that to you." His hands cup my face, determination etching itself into his features. I can tell there's no budging him on this without some serious effort.

"Why?"

"It is a punishment reserved only for the greatest offenders on Mars. I will not subject you to it."

The heavy conviction in his tone is supported with his tightening grip, mind occupied by the cruelty of taking away memories. Frankly I'd consider it a blessing.

"J'onn-"

"No. You do not know what you ask nor how this will impair you."

"But they are in my head.." my beseeching tone falls on deaf ears but his warm hands rub along my back till my erratic breathing and desperation seep out of my body.

"I can help with the memories little one, but I will not erase them."

I'm guided to lay down while the Martian looms over me, his red eyes glittering as his fingers bury themselves in my hair. The familiar touch of his mind warns me of what is to come, his mind going through all my thoughts, sorting them out like a video editor would trim the edges of a film to remove what he doesn't want.

Grodd and his three henchmen get fuzzier as J'onn continues. Their words and touches becoming distant, like a memory that is nearly forgotten but available should the need arise. Although I can't figure out how this is better than completely erasing the memory, my trust in the Manhunter is absolute enough to accept him without question.

In time I have faith that he will detail out his reasons but for now, with the state of affairs, it is more than sufficient. The fading memories bring a sense of relief which makes my body relax further till I can feel sleep pulling me under. J'onn's fingers encouraging the muscles in my body to relax as they work their way along the knots in my shoulders.


	18. Recovery

The smell of rain and warmth tug me out of my heavy sleep. Red eyes meet mine, green fingers caressing down my back in rhythm to my breathing.

He looks heartbreakingly beautiful in this moment, my mind caught up in his, his quiet thoughts and soft breathing capturing all my senses.

In a typical reaction to trauma I press my mouth against his, seeking to replace my terrible memories with something pleasant.

J'onn doesn't stop me. His rougher mouth parts mine, tongue sweeping in and tasting me. There's no hurried, all consuming hunger in this moment. He pulls away to press a kiss to my forehead, eyes assessing my reactions. His kisses follow a path down my forehead to my ear, gently breathing in before running his tongue along the edge of my ear.

Heat fills my body as soft sounds escape my parted lips.

He works lower, wet kisses and brushes of teeth causing me to arch against his chest. My hands latch onto his shoulders, thoroughly caught up in his slow teasing.

This feels like the slowest he's ever gone with me. I understand his motives, he's making sure I can tell the difference between the present moment and what happened to me.

His large hands trace warm trails down my back and he carefully turns over, pulling me on top of him. The bed covers pool around my hips, giving me another anchor to ground myself with.

J'onn eases away from my throat and places my hands on his chest.

"Touch me as you please, little one."

This is the alien who entered my life and brought about so much change, loss and happiness. My fingers map the side of his angular face, over his pronounced brow, the dark lining around his eyes, sharp cheekbones and ever frowning lips.

His red eyes stare at mine with sadness clouding them.

"I have caused you so much grief. Forgive me."

"No, you haven't J'onn," I press a kiss to silence his protests. "it was only a matter of time."

He rolls us over till he's looming over me, his fingers carding through my hair and watching the emotions flicker across my face.

I'm a mess of emotions. I want to cry for my loss, shout at J'onn due to unfairness of it all but I mostly want to forget. And the best way to forget is to have my mind blanked out in pleasure.

J'onn probably reads this off me, he reacts by kissing me. The kiss gets heated in seconds, his hands roaming my body, squeezing along the way till I react to him.

Moans and whimpers fill the air as he teases me, thick fingers seeking my entrance. He rubs my wetness into me, working my body till I've got my eyes closed, hips following his fingers for relief.

He presses a finger into me just as I'm crying for more. The thick digit triggers my climax, J'onn works me through my release till I've peaked again.

After all I endured with Grod's men, I want to feel myself belong to someone who loves me. I want to be claimed by J'onn. I want his touch, his essence to brand me till he's all that I remember.

He shushes my cries, guides my hands to his chest and presses his thighs under mine. One hand cups my face.

"Look at me, love."

The other hand splays my thighs further apart across his waist.

He waits till I focus on him and slowly pushes his length into me. The minute I tense, he pauses. It's the slowest he's ever gone to fill me up.

When he's finally in me, he pauses again despite my keening protests. "Hush, I've got you."

"J'onn.. Please.. Move."

Gentle thrusts pick up the pace, his hold never restricting my movements, I grab onto him, kissing and biting into his throat. His eyes never change colour the way they did before. They remain the shade of red I first found myself lost in.

I tighten around J'onn and he reacts as he's always done. His pace picks and he his grip changes to angle me better before he goes for my neck and hammers into me till I explode around him.

He thrusts through my rippling contractions, pulling another climax out of me when he finally tenses with a groan and warm liquid shoots into me.

Red eyes search my face, scanning me, reading my mind, searching for what I need.

J'onn gently eases himself out of me, his seed trapped inside me. He presses a kiss to my forehead once more, "You are mine."

I am his. I don't want to belong to anyone else.

He pulls the covers over us and tucks my head under his chin. I close my eyes and shut out the world.


End file.
